difficult child and I went to the doctor yesterday and easy child the day before...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by welcometowitsend, Jun 6, 2012.

  1. I'll start with easy child. We went to the paediatrician on Monday (a 5 month wait for referral) and saw him about he learning disabilities and whether she should see a neurologist as suggested by the psychologist that tested her. He said that he thought it would be a waste of time as there really aren't any programs they can use to develop her brain further. He did suggest a medication trial in September for ADHD (inattentive) to help her overcome her focus issues which will make her learning disabilities easier to cope with - hopefully. So, we go back in July for a follow up and we will go from there. I think easy child is keen to try it and see if it helps. The nice thing about her being 13 is she'll be able to articulate whether she thinks it is working or not.

    While I was there they had me complete a questionnaire about easy child. I had to laugh because the way I completed the questionnaire for her would have been completely different for difficult child. IE. Angry, irritable, purposely annoys people, teary-eyed, defiant..... all no's for easy child and all yes' for difficult child. Sigh.

    Fast forward to the appointment with family doctor for difficult child yesterday. We sit down and discuss his behaviour issues and what's been happening these last few months. I tell her it's like a switch went off in his head and he turned into a very angry, irritable, bullying, defiant, person - someone I didn't know at all as he'd never been like this before. Then a few months later another switch goes off and he's back to a sort of normal state except now he is really depressed. He is compliant, easy to get along with, obedient, compromises, tries to do what we ask, but is teary-eyed, is back to cutting again, and has been doing internet searches for ways to commit suicide (I just found that out yesterday). He says he is not feeling suicidal now and is feeling happier than he has been in a while. He says part of that is breaking up with his girlfriend yesterday - she was too demanding, needy and stressful for him. But he's got all the depression symptoms - weight loss, appetite loss, odd sleep habits, dropping grades, skipping school, thoughts of suicide and worthlessness.....oh and to top that off he's had 2 panic attacks in the past 2 weeks.

    So, she made an 'urgent' referral to the same paediatrician that easy child has and then will have to get referred again to a psychiatrist - pain in the :censored2:. I hope the urgent referral doesn't take 5 months. If so I am going to call the paediatrician and see if difficult child can have easy child's July 9 appointment and I will make another appointment for easy child in August. I will phone the paediatrician tomorrow to ask about the appointment - the referral was only sent last night so I'll give them a day. My only other option is to have him admitted to the psychiatric ward at the hospital but that would have to be a crisis where he is an immediate danger to himself or others - and he isn't right now. Family doctor did not prescribe anything so we are just in limbo right now. He is going to continue seeing his counsellor at school and he sort of reluctantly agreed to see the other counsellor as well - although I may find a psychologist instead that specializes in kids with mental health issues.

    I had a talk with difficult child about brain chemicals and hormones and about how this isn't his fault. It's a genetic factor and teenage hormones are making it worse. I told him he may have to take medication but that's ok. We also talked about suicide and how it isn't the answer to depression or life's problems, that I'm here to help him and that there is a crisis team at the hospital that will get him immediate help if he starts feeling that way again. I told him that the positive part of that would be that he'd get assessed right away and get a psychiatrist right away as well. difficult child wants an assessment soon - I think he feels a bit of urgency about it.

    He is home 'sick' this morning. Not sure if he's really feeling sick (doubt it) or if he just wants to avoid ex-girlfriend at school and the fallout of having broken up with her. Thankfully he has several groups of friends so he won't be without people to hang out with because of this.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Wow, sounds like you're making some progress.
  3. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me like you are getting him the help he needs as well as you can. I like that you let him know there was a crisis team available if he needs it.
    I am particularly impressed with his decision to break-up with the troublesome girlfriend. That shows a lot of maturiy. Perhaps that decision will empower him to pull out of his depression. I'd still be keeping an eye on him, as I'm sure you will.
  4. Thank you both for your replies.

    Pigless - difficult child was away for a week at Arts Camp and while he was gone he came to the realization (with some help from an older student who is a great role model) that this girl is just too demanding and needy and nothing he can do is good enough for her. I agree that he has acted maturely with this. After he broke up with her she was very upset with him - mind games, swearing, etc.. He just said "I hope that we can be friends someday and that we are both able to find someone that we will be very happy with. I'm just not the right guy for you." Wow!!

    Thankfully he does seem to be pulling out of the depression and has gotten himself out of bed every morning this week - that is huge for him! He even came downstairs early this morning and didn't have to run for the bus - and exclaimed with a big smile that this 'getting up 'early' isn't so tough after all.' And he has gone to school every day except yesterday when he was feeling 'sick'. He has miraculously recovered today so he can do relay for life at school - which is a fun day for him. :)

    I am hopeful that this is a turnaround for him but not taking any chances. He is coming to the trailer with us this weekend because I don't feel confident enough to leave him home alone yet. He is ok with it as long as he only has to suffer through 'family time' for 1 night. ;)