difficult child arrested

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, May 24, 2012.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    She calls me yesterday afternoon all non-chalant, asking what I am doing. My response, working - same thing I do every week day. She tells me she is sitting outside a hotel and I asked her why she was sitting outside a hotel and she says I don't know, ask M (A hole). She says they are on a "break". I am silent. Then she says oh, guess what - I was arrested (she is laughing while she is telling me this). I ask her for what and she tells me shoplifting. I am disgusted. She tells me "at least I am telling you about it". Um, why?? What would make you think I would want to know about that?? She tells me they didn't transport her to our county, which means the "warrant" that supposedly was out for her must not exist. I told her I am not pleased about any of this and that I wished they would bring her to our county. I asked her how she got out and she said M bailed her out. I told her she will need to go to court and face the judge. I hope they put her in jail when she can't pay anything, but I know that probably won't happen. Though if they have her perform community service, she will probably mess that up. I had to force her to complete her service when she was on probation as a juvenile. I am not doing a thing to help her in this situation. I told her point blank that everytime she calls I am hoping she is calling me to tell me she is ready for help and change and instead I get this bologna. A mom can only take so much. You want to laugh about your arrest and talk about your loser lifestyle, call a loser friend, not me. I am getting to the point where I would prefer not hearing from her at all until she was clean.

    Still no idea if she is truly pregnant. She texted me the other day telling me she wasn't and I asked how she knew that. She thinks because she got her period, she isn't pregnant. I asked her if she knew she could still bleed while pregnant. Um, nope, she didn't know that (rolling eyes here). I told her only a doctor can confirm or deny the pregnancy and that she needed to get to a doctor. She says one of the days she will. OMG. How I wish I could just smack her upside the head SO hard!!!!

    Why oh why couldn't she get arrested on a drug charge???? I have been praying for her to get arrested and when she finally does, it is for shoplifting. :/

    I have been reading when I can - been working 16 hour days here on a project I finally got completed this week. My heart goes out to all of you!!! What is going on with our difficult children??? :(
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I can relate. LOL at least I told you. What a treasure. Now I Will be honest with you hahaaga
  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    So sorry to hear this. It really blows when they self-sabotage and don't want to do anything to help themselves.

    Though, I do wonder if that laughing to this type of things is a simple self-defense strategy. They know they did wrong, they are ashamed but are not able to admit to it even themselves (because then they kind of would need to take some responsibility.) But they do feel bad for what they have done and how their live is and that is why they call mom instead of looser friend. They know mom doesn't approve and they want to hear it too, maybe to externalize that feeling that makes them know they did wrong. But maybe I'm just an optimist and in reality they just don't get it. I don't know.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh PG I am sorry you had to hear from her with this news. I said just yesterday I almost would rather not hear from difficult child than get those calls when she was in trouble. And like you every time she calls I am hoping and praying it is because she wants help. And her laughing about it and saying at least I told you is exactly what my difficult child would do. Does she expect you to be proud of her because she told you? It's such warped thinking.

    I also just thought the other day I wish difficult child would get arrested for drugs because at least then she would have to undergo drug tests and attend meetings. But in my heart I know that wouldn't change anything. That's not going to keep either of our difficult child's clean.But it may keep them alive longer.

    You are doing a wonderful job in making her be responsible and I know how this tugs at your heart.

  5. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    ((hugs)) I am so sorry that you got this phone call. It's hard to believe how non-chalant our difficult child's can be over things like being arrested. I would be freaking out - my difficult child wouldn't care.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Ugh... :hugs: for you and your husband.

    This might sound really odd coming from me, but I do hope she DID get her period and is not pregnant and/or it was what they call a chemical pregnancy. Happens all the time. But clearly she does NOT need a child. Truly, she needs to change her thinking... I wish she would. More ugh...

    And more :hugs:, you're doing awesome!
  7. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Sorry PG...They do seem to get a kick out of shocking us don't they? The laughing reminds me of my young difficult child...I can see him acting the exact same way.

    Glad you were able to get so much accomplished this week at work.
    Sounds like a relaxing weekend is well deserved.

    Hang in there.
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    PG, So sorry your difficult child continues her bad choices. I totally understand not wanting to know anymore. It disrupts the peace we work so hard to achieve. As far as prayers, I no longer pray for anything specific for my difficult child. I just ask that he finds the grace and the strength he needs to live a good life. -RM
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    So so sorry PG. What a worry that she may be pregnant and not seeing a doctor and still using....uggg. I hope she goes to court and does not add to the problems.

    Big HUG to you. good question, isn't that super moon thing done? What IS going on???
  10. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Dear PG,
    First, I'm sorry she upsets you so. I don't know what's going on in her mind...after the spider bite, the pregancy (scare?) and the whole landscaping job thing...it's more clear than ever that some people, for some reason, seem to NEED to live on the edge.
    What exactly do you think she was doing at the hotel...and what did "taking a break" mean? If she's no longer working for her friend at the landscaping business, do you think it's suspicious that she's at the hotel? That's kind of what I was focusing on...is she living there - what's up with that?

    But I get what you mean that you'd rather not hear from her...it's never good news, and it's almost as if they get a kick out of freaking their parents out with their escapades. You just take care of yourself and repeat the serenity prayer. We love you.
  11. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    So sorry PG. I am hoping she is right about not being pregnant. It isn't the right time in her life to handle such a responsibility.
  12. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    PG...I am so very sorry. Isn't it always the case they zig when we need them to zag.

    Praying this turns out for the best!
  13. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child does the same thing. She told me not too long ago that she had gotten a traffic ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. After she told me, she said, "At least I told you about it. I wouldn't have told you before. I'm making progress." My reaction was the same as yours. Why does this even concern me? I didn't get the ticket and I am not going to pay for it.

    I hope that your difficult child is telling the truth about not being pregnant. I know that would be a huge relief for you.

  14. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    PG, I am so sorry. They just can't stop themselves. I think the laugh was instead of showing her real feelings. If they learned to show these in honesty, they wouldn't need to self-medicate as they do. I don't think our addicted difficult children have a clue how to act appropriate. She called to hear her mom's voice, she is not ok about it any more than you are. She's probably scared. I think our challenge is to not take all their acting out and behaviors as directed at us. I hope she is not pregnant for your sake. You are doing a good job handling this out of control difficult child. I totally understand the heart ache and hurt. ((Hugs))