difficult child back to his old, immature, violent self

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Sep 16, 2011.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child was home 2 days this wk. Ate junk food by the boatload and got sick (note to self: give or throw away all junk food). By Wed he was doing much better. I let him sleep late and he could have gone to school by 10, but you know how these kids are--a hangnail and it's the end of the world.
    He did chores so thought he deserved computer time. I said no and went into my ofc to turn off the wireless. He blocked my way (sound familiar?). I tried so hard not to get into a screaming match but I was hoarse. Finally, he agreed to go to baseball practice if I would leave the wireless on.
    He got on his uniform but then refused to go to the field early because he didn't want to be alone. Said it was against the rules of Little League. (He also told me that his teachers would give him detention for falling asleep in class, which they told me at the 504 the other day was a crock of b*ll. We actually had a lot of laughs at the mtng.)
    difficult child slammed his fist into the door frame 3X. It was his throwing hand but I kept my mouth shut.
    We drove to the field and he refused to get out, so I drove to husband's clinic, got an adjustment and elec therapy (how sad is it when elec patches on your butt, while you're lying face down, is the highlight of your day? Soft music, a little nap ...) Then husband hopped in the car and I took him to the airport, and took difficult child to the field an hr late.
    Last night, I told difficult child I had found his old PSP or PS2 or whatever it is, but didn't want to give it back until he apologized for the other day. He started yelling again. He pd his own money for it ($200) and could use it because he owned it, blah blah blah.
    He is back on his medications, and I am trying so hard to be calm, but with-husband out of town, P sobbing in pain and the Visiting Angels caregiver calling me and asking what to do (I told her to take P to the doctor-in-the-box next door and check for a bladder infection, and I arranged for a neurology appointment in mid-Oct, because everything aggravates her tailbone, which should have healed a yr ago), making dinner, snacks, checking homework, having a 504 mtng which went very well, but which sent difficult child into orbit because I had him change homerooms so he could have assistance from the aide in the other room, and not make it look obvious ... but changing homerooms is pretty obvious ... dealing with-a dryer repairman (I'm posting a note on WC about that), waiting for a gutter contractor who never showed up, got a very upset call from easy child, who got into a huge fight with-one of her roommates, who started a discussion about The Help and how awesome it was, but then said her family "owns" Mexicans who live in a shed out back, and isn't it ironic? And she's got a student in one of her classes (she is a Sr, majoring in education), "There's this negro boy who is always acting out and getting on my nerves," and easy child just lost it, yelled at her, grabbed her purse and took off for her boyfriend's dorm at the school 5 mi away ... always drama ... and then I got a late night msg, which thank d*G I didn't get until this a.m., that Dad was in the ER, so I am running around like a chicken with-my head cut off.

    I've got a psychiatric medication appointment on Sat at 11, and difficult child can't go--he's got a game from 9-11. But this is better--I can talk to the dr alone and figure out another plan about medications. The hormones are in full swing. And difficult child is getting physical again--shoulder checking, blocking the doorway ... when I turn off the wireless, it ruins the system and it wrecks my computer and I have to call Verizon so I have to call a friend to reconfigure the computer settings and password instead.

    When I told difficult child to apologize for the way he treated me yesterday, he did not understand why. He was so self righteous. I am very upset because I thought we had this under control.

    I did not post this in detail the other day because I was too upset. My hands aren't shaking today and things have calmed down. I am going for a walk.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Wow Terry. Sounds like we need to send some support your way too. I'll be praying, pretzeling, and rattling that things ssssssssllllllllllooooooooowwwwwww down and calm down for you. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    I'd suggest that the chaos is ramping up difficult child, but in chronological order, his issues appeared first this week. Plus, I don't tell him every little thing.
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Love that you are seeking support and walking, etc. Take care of yourself.
    Love that you are getting rid of the junk food in the house. If its there, difficult children will eat it and in "boatloads."
    We got our difficult child those sesame/honey candies (I love them myself) and she learned to really like them. Also tangerines were a big hit. On weekends, we might do a small amount of something a little more traditional...like sherbert. But SMALL AMOUNTS AND WEEKENDS ONLY.
    Good thoughts that things calm down for you guys SOON!
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    He should be in the door any second. Then I have to listen to him yell about how he hates being switched to a new homeroom.
    My dad is doing better.
    I did not call P back when she called again to leave a msg that she wanted a suppository. Come on. She's in assisted living, she's got a caregiver, handle it, people. This is not a heart attack.
    The walk was beautiful.
    I'm having a few friends over tonight for food and wine. Normally we go out on Fri nights, but with-husband out of town, I don't like leaving difficult child home alone, especially at night, because there's no backup. We can sit on the porch and keep the door shut and difficult child will be on the computer.
    Good news--the neighbor stopped by to see if an extra baseball glove was difficult child's from practice. Oooops! I didn't realize he was coaching on Wed!!! How embarrassing. I talked to him and stared him straight in the eye. I also saw his son at practice and didn't recognize him. Am I living in my own little world, or what? :groan:We stood in the driveway and talked for about 20 min, and he can bring difficult child home after practice tomorrow. They live across the street. (I told him I have a dr appointment, but it's really difficult child's psychiatric medication appointment and we can't be in two places at once.)
  6. Methuselah

    Methuselah New Member

    Hi Terry. I'm sorry things are so rough. A raging teen boy is a scary site. A raging person who can't grasp their behavior is rude, hurtful and doesn't seem to care is down right frightening. It's extremely hard to move them to better behaviors. My thoughts are with you.
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    :consoling: sorry you've got a lot going on and difficult child isn't helping any.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm on my way to difficult child's psychiatric medication appointment, because he refuses to go. At least this way, I get to tell it like it is with-o playing politically correct games and letting difficult child slowly open up. The dr is going to get an earful. And he just thinks I'm there for scrips.:rollingpin: