difficult child, Back to Square One.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jody, Feb 5, 2010.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    My difficult child was doing so well on Abilify. She started two weeks ago and has changed her grades from D's-F's to A's and B's. She has been an angel at home. Last night she comes home from the movies with her Big Sister and she is a whole different person. Just looking mean and acting mean, yelled at me and the puppy and was just really, really hateful. She gets up this morning and oh my goodnes. I am back to being every name in the book and I do mean every name. It was like a bad dream. We just went to the therapist yesterday and she was really doing well. I am really stunned. The psychiatrist won't diagnose her with bi-polar. She says she doesn't want to put a label on her. After she is done calling me names and being hateful, she tells me she needs to go to the gas station to get gum. Just like nothing had happened. Then when the answer no came oh my goodness, you know the scene. Unbelievable. I truthfully don't have a clue as to what's going on. I am off from my second job this weekend and hoped to have a decent weekend. She is going to spend a lot of time in her room, I can see that coming right now. Could it be hormones? One of the therapist in the hospital, said she was definately bi-polar, he said she rapid cycles very often. Psychiatrist in the hospital, took her off all of her medications and said she had PTSD from a surgery she had when she was 3 months old. She was a wreck and was worse than when she went in. She had been there three weeks. He was totally nuts. Regular psychiatrist put her back on her regular medications that she was on before she went in. I guess I would say I had a week or so reprieve from the craziness of my difficult child. OMG, don't want to go thru this anymore. So, So, sick of it. My easy child doesn't live at home anymore, because of difficult child's ****. She lives with her best friend and her family. I saw her this morning. How I miss her. She leaves for college this summer. Sweetest girl you ever met. Seeing her everyday when she lived at home was my comfort. I knew that one was okay and doing well. I am glad she is away from the chaos, but also miss her so.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Gosh, I'm so sorry!

    If she was off the medications, then put on medications (I have been there myself) that can really screw up your body chemistry. I really like doctors to go very slow with changes.

    The only advice I really have is to get another opinion on what's wrong with her, since nobody seems to know or they won't say. I would take her to a neuropsychologist. In the opinion of many here, they are the best diagnosticians and because of their intensive testing they sometimes pick up things that other professionals miss. At this point, you have nothing to lose...

    Sadly, psychiatric hospitals can be very disappointing. I've been in two. One was great. The other was a waste of time and I couldn't wait to leave. Frankly, in my opinion the guy who says she has PTSD from surgery at three months is probably out of lunch and in the past, still holding Freud's hand. Yikes, that would have made me angry because I would never have believed it.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Did she skip her medications at all?
  4. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I watched her take all the medicine. This is so disappointing. maybe it will turn back around as fast as this episode did. All I can do I guess is be hopeful. I say that but I am way past that at this point. Are there really success stories or am I just beating my head against a brick wall? I hate to even say that, but at most times it seems like such a losing battle. Then what, how do they keep a job so they can move on their OWN? How do they keep themselves out of prison or hurt? A few days ago I was in the mindset that it could be much worse. While I am going thru it I can barely see that, even though I know it's true. So what if she called me everyday she could manage to think of. Did it really hurt my feelings. Heck NO. I am numb to that. I hate that my dogs have to hear all of this. My older dog almost bit her the other day. She's sick of her yelling and being mean. My beautiful golden retriever puppy (Broady) just runs toward me. He really helps take my mind off of her sometimes. Thank you for listening to me vent. I am so glad for this website and all of you. I am new here but it feels good to be talking to people who know what it's like. People never really know what it's like until it happens. It's hard to describe how it can affect your'e life.
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    You said she was horrible when she came home from watching a movie with her sister. What movie was it? Did something happen there?

    Maybe her stress level was a bit elevated from the subject matter of a the film, or some other associated reason. Then when her bad attitude brings the usual negative response, the bad stuff escalates from there.

    Just a thought.

  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Marguerite, you just beat me posting that question. That's what came to my mind too. DDD
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Great minds...
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry.
    You've gotten some good ideas. I'm not much help. Just wanted to lend support.
  9. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Thank you for your support. The mood swings are just driving me nuts. If I am at work she is mad because I am not home for her to drive up the wall. If I am at home she drives me nuts too. I used to be a patient person. I could play games with my oldest and have a great time. I just can't please my difficult child. I have been trying her whole life to break her from telling me what to do, or giving me her opinion on what I have done, or might do. She just never stops. Control freak. I was reading in the part where the kids are 18 and over. OMG. I always thought it was over when they were 18. I now realize that that's not the case. What do I do with her then? I was so looking forward to having a life again. I know I am borrowing trouble, but I was like okay I can do this for a few more years. Definately don't want to, but will have to. I had that time to look forward to. Boy is that depressing!!!!! I am on a downer today sorry. Then the thought of her having kids later on. OMG. Grandchildren with ODD. And the cycle continues. I will be so ****** off and hurt if she goes to prison. All of these therapy and psychiatrist appointments. Loss of jobs, homes, relationships. Loss of my right mind, taking all this medicine to deal with the issues of ODD. I am on a roll now, sorry but I think I better go and write a list of the good things about difficult child before I plan a long trip across the US to hide. I think I better just go ahead and pack. :D :(
  10. keeper496

    keeper496 New Member

    I am brand new to this forum. But as I read Jody's post, I kept saying, "OMG!!! That's me!" I am at the end of my rope. I have no escape. If I leave my daughter at home so I can run to the store or stop with a drink with the girls, I worry that she'll lash out at her sister. No one has ever declared her ODD. I've mentioned it to the psychologist but he's only been seeing her for 2 months and the psychiatrist she was seeing is only in his office one day a week...impossible to get in for an appointment. I'm missing more and more work to get me or her to appts. I know I am sinking into depression and I'm generally a very happy and optimistic person. I've been wondering how I am going to survive for the next 3.5 years. Now you're saying it's more than 3.5???? How do I do this? by the way, what is difficult child?
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    It IS really challenging in the stage you are in with her. No doubt about it. It's hard to be patient, it's hard to have much hope for the future. But please understand that there IS hope, and her future is not as bleak as it feels right now.

    Finding the right treatment for your difficult child is going to be a journey, and not a quick trip around the corner. It will require a LOT of patience, a LOT of determination and persistence, and a LOT of faith in yourself as a parent.

    If your current team of mental health professionals aren't at the top of their game or aren't on your side, then take your business elsewhere. Demand answers, and if they can't tell you, keep knocking on doors until you find someone who can.

    We truly must become Warrior parents to get our difficult child's through to adulthood and beyond, to help them find stability, to help them develop resiliency and the self-esteem they will need to get through the dark times that will inevitably come and go in their lifetime.

    Along the way, it's important to nurture yourself and take time to regroup, destress, and regain your bearings. Don't worry too much about things in the future that cannot be predicted, let alone controlled. Focus on today and what you can do to help your difficult child get one step closer to the goal.

    And come here often for support, because that's why we're all here! :)
  12. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!