difficult child Baker Acted himself!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Mar 9, 2010.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    GFGmom shared "the secret" with easy child/difficult child yesterday. She told easy child/difficult child that difficult child (now 19)
    didn't want me to know about it "because I might blame his Mom". :( She has threatened to Baker Act him for years...every time he loses his cool which happens when he doesn't have or take his medications. I guess he called her bluff.

    As usual I could type pages and pages of GFGmom behaviors that have halted his upward
    progress since she reclaimed him over a year ago. In a nutshell, though, she has used his insecurities to tighten the bond between them (and against us) in almost every way possible. He has not had any therapy in over a year, often doesn't get his medications at refill time, usually is left to "be an adult and take his medications on time"...and, of course, she borrows his disabiity funds "to keep the roof over their heads".

    I'm saddened by this new crisis. I'm beyond angry with GFGmom. Now, I guess, I have to "pretend" I don't know anything. It makes me sick. DDD
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I am sad for you and difficult child, DDD. :sorry:

    Honestly, if there was a contest for "WORST MOM OF THE CENTURY", your difficult child daughter would rank right up there.


    What happens after someone Baker Acts themself?

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} I really hope difficult child can break free of his mother.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks, guys. Instead of someone calling the police to say a persion "is a danger to themselves or others"...the person calls the police and says the same thing. Evidently he said he wanted to kill himself or someone else. Sigh!

    Sad to say GFGmom doesn't even know his multiple diagnosis's and probably doesn't remember what medications he is on. All of that and
    he wants to protect her. Bummer!

    There is no mental health facility in our County so the person gets taken to the police station and then is transported about an hour away for a couple of days. easy child/difficult child told me seriously "Mom
    has driven to visit with him each day." How admirable, huh? DDD
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I'm convinced your daughter and my x - relatives. :mad: There had to be a mix up at the hospital - you took the wrong baby home.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sheesh. No words.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow...what happens with him now?
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good question, KTM. I imagine "what happens now?" is that he will continue to live with GFGmom. She has been asking
    him to share his disability with "the family" and is charging him 1/4 of the household expenses to live with them. Sigh!

    He desperately wants his Mom to be devoted to his well being and like any emotionally abusive situation it takes alot of strength to break free. It also takes support and she has convinced him that we are "too old" and "too controlling" for him to turn to us. It's a bit like a sick movie.

    The Hospital will/has recommended him to the only local psychiatrist. Two weeks ago I called that psychiatrist's office to try and get an appointment for him and was told their practice is closed. I am praying that he will be accepted on the basis of their recommendation. Only time will tell. Meanwhile he has no one to share with and nobody to encourage him to take steps forward. I'll post if there is any news. DDD
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    In a certain way, it is good that difficult child baker acted himself. I know someone with- bipolar disorder who actually does fairly well working pt and is on disability. From time to time she does this. She does this when she feels suicidal and it keeps her safe. Does your grandson's mother the designated payee for him? When he is feeling better, perhaps you can explain to him that age 19, he has the right to live where he wants to live, etc. Perhaps he can call the disability office and find out what his rights are and see if any changes can be made. Are you able to communicate with him at all? As long as she is not taking advantage of the situation (and it sounds like there is a big question there), it might be reasonable for her to ask for a small amount of money in terms of rent. (He is living there, right???) However, he should not have to share his disability check in any other way. And of course, if he isn't living with his mother, rent money shouldn't be up for discussion either. If you are open to it, you can always provide a standing offer for him to live with you or for you to help him find a place to live and assistance in looking for low cost therapy, etc. I am so sorry about these ongoing difficulties. It sounds really hard.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    He is the payee, Nomad. It goes straight into his checking account but his Mom is on the account with him. She tells him that she wants him out of her house. Then, each month, she tells him that there are bills to be paid to keep the household going....and since he isn't out on his own, he should help her. Yikes!

    husband and I had "a plan" that GFGmom OK'd. As of March lst
    he and husband would have an account, would meet each week to review his expenses and his savings toward getting his own place. I picked up applications for subsidized housing and showed him how easily he could afford his own place.
    All was well until (you guessed it!) GFGmom told me that he was afraid to be on his own. She's a piece of work! DDD
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    DDD, so very sorry for this recent development. Hoping for the best for your difficult child. -RM
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Oh my.
    Why is mom on this account?
    Does it HAVE to be this way????
    He is 19. It seems to me that mom should not have to be on the account.
    I like the way you are guiding him toward independence and better self esteem.
    My heart goes out to you and grandson.
    Keep the faith and keep your eye on the prize.
    However, don't forget to take care of yourself (same for husband) as well. You know this is vital.
    Also, keep in mind that if you push too hard, that difficult child grandson might put up a wall of resistance and refuse to believe you. Perhaps gentle guidance is better. My guess is that if mom keeps up her antics, in due time, he will "hear" you and want something better for himself.
  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs DDD. I'm so sorry that difficult child mom is such a wingnut and that difficult child is caught up in her web of lies and deception. I hope that he sees the light soon and gets outta there!