Well, difficult child's put us through rough times. But his birthday was by far the worst day ever. I got up with husband in the morning. He was a crab so went back to bed until he left. Wake up difficult child. Happy Birthday, blah, blah. Ask if I can pick him up some breakfast. He yells at me..NO. Then I mention a different food item. Same response. Then I ask if I can cook him something. He screams at me. Ok. don't eat then. The PLAN was pick him up at noon, go to court, go to the mall to get his ear peirced and have him pick some things out. Then out for dinner. He had already picked the restaurant. He use to love to go to the mall. He would go hang out and walk around with friends. Now he doesn't do anything. Ever. He puts on raggy jeans. I ask him to please put on nicer jeans, he has court. He starts screaming at me that he can dress however he pleases, it doesn't matter....So I left. Took a ride and picked him up something from the gas station to drink. He yells at me on the way to school. He shouldn't have to go to school. Around 10 he texts easy child and tells him he doesn't feel good. Have mom bring some Pepto Bismol. I pick him up a little early. Ask if he is nervous. He yells at me. Asked how he felt. Maybe he should eat something. Then he says he doesn't want to go to the mall. He hates going anywhere. I told him he needed to pick out birthday gifts. Then he exploded. "how could you NOT get me a birthday present.?" Then on and on and on about how I ruined his life, how much he hates me. Meet up with husband at court. As we are walking in difficult child is telling me how I ruined his life. NOW I am upset. WHy is he saying all this to ME. His DAD didn't get him a gift either. We were going to let him shop and get anything, plus his ear.. AFter court he goes home with husband. I get home and he is saying F*** you to me, how he hates me. Wish I could go back 15 years and have an abortion. He is hitting himself in the head with his shoe. He is telling me how much he wants to die, he hates waking up everyday, he is sad...it is all my fault. Swearing at me. I lose it and go after him, husband tries to seperate us. difficult child tells him he is making it worse and difficult child runs out of the house (it is 15 degrees outside) easy child goes out after him and brings his jacket. easy child sits with him on the curb. husband goes out and paces up and down the sidewalk.. I went in my room and just cried. I had a birthday cake. Nobody wanted. They come in and difficult child still is going after me. So I went downstairs. Took his xmas gift. WRapped it in birthday paper and threw it at him. But I said MERRY XMAS. It was an I-phone. It was the worst, most horrible day ever. husband and I were screaming. easy child left. difficult child is threatening to kill himself. I didn't think your heart could hurt anymore than it already did. I talked to a counselor from his elementary school who we are friends with and who difficult child is very close with. She told me I need to call Crisis. She told me maybe he is Bipolar. She has called and talked to him and says he is very depressed. She said him lashing out is probably stopping him from truly harming himself, and not to take what he says personal because he is out of control. I can't call anyone. Judge said if he gets in any trouble the ticket comes back. I don't know what to do. That lady tells me to call for help. While a teacher at his school tells me he needs to be held accountable and quit acting like a spoiled brat. I am stuck in the middle. Next day, difficult child calls me and says he was sorry. He said some horrible things. He didn't mean it. Said he loves me. But he IS sad. Very sad. He said he is stressing out about some things but he can't talk about it. Question about ADHD. Ritalin did not agree with him. He was afraid to take it after the reaction he had. Didn't do well with Adderall. This year they gave him Vyvanse. Tried it ONCE before school started. Didn't like how it made him feel. Refused it. Until two weeks ago. When he had his physical that doctor told him he needs to take it more than just one time. Take it for a week or so. First he would crash right after school. Then he was taking one at noon. he comes home and doesn't talk at all. He is in his own little world. Just not him. Not bad, just seems really sad. Doesn't talk at all. (he is a talker) Now he takes it every morning, and takes one with him to school. He said it does help him do his work. Teachers all emailed me this week to tell me how focused he is, turning in all his work, helping other students, his grades are all climbing. He doesn't eat though. No breakfast. Then he isn't hungry and doesn't eat at all. On his birthday he did NOT take the medicine because we had plans to go out to eat and he wanted to be hungry. Could him NOT taking it have caused what happened that day?