My daughter and her AA sponsor are somewhat at odds recently, and it is making me a little anxious. Here's the problem: sponsor is telling difficult child that she needs to be "more responsible." Well, nothing wrong with that, and I agree. The thing is, the sponsor thinks her main goals should be to "get her own place" and "raise easy child 1 on her own." Everyone agrees about getting her own place, although it doesn't appear to be in the cards anytime soon. difficult child will have to save up enough money to get her license back, a car and insurance, and security and utility deposits. She is actually managing to save a little bit, which is a minor miracle in itself, but at the current rate we're talking many months. It is the second goal, "be raising easy child 1 on her own", that makes me anxious. Apparently the sponsor is pushing very hard on this. Now, difficult child knows she is not capable of raising easy child 1 on her own. She can barely spend an hour with her without going nuts. But sponsor is not the first to be singing this particular tune. difficult child used to harbor a good deal of resentment over us "taking her baby from her." She has in the past from time to time talked about how she was going to get it together and raise easy child 1. She has always had a strong tendency to wishful thinking and grandiose, unrealistic notions of what she's going to do. And she is a follower who will attach herself to people and allow herself to be led into things against her better judgment. Of course wife and I would love to see a closer and more nurturing relationship between difficult child and easy child 1, but we are also committed to raising easy child 1 as our own daughter. The fact is that we are easy child 1's parents now. wife has been easy child 1's primary caregiver since birth, as I have been her surrogate father. We were awarded legal guardianship and sole custody 2 1/2 years ago, one step shy of adopting her. To get custody difficult child would have to take us to court. difficult child has been arguing the point with her sponsor so far, but my concern is that the sponsor may eventually push difficult child into making an issue of easy child 1 again. On the other hand anything happening is probably months or even years away, and every day that we maintain the status quo makes it less likely that difficult child would be able to convince a court to change it. As the good book says, why worry about tomorrow's troubles when today has enough troubles of its own? On the other hand again I've heard of some judges siding with the bio parent against all reason, and it is good to be prepared for whatever happens. Would trying to talk to the sponsor be a good idea? I'm thinking not; it may be taken the wrong way by both the sponsor and difficult child for wife and me to stick our noses in to their relationship. But I don't think that the sponsor's insistence is contributing to difficult child's recovery and it could lead to big problems down the road. Maybe.