difficult child could use some board JuJu for serious talk today

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by recoveringenabler, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, the blush of excitement has faded. Apparently, one of the roommates in my daughter's new dwelling seems less then happy to have her there and is reporting to the other roommate and owner of the house, blown out half truths to make my daughter look bad. It seems life is never dull for a difficult child. So, the owner/roommate initially got angry, just doesn't want to deal with this and told my difficult child that she has 30 days to get out! He has been out of town for a week caring for his grandmother and while he was away, the other roommate seems to have taken advantage of his absence in creating problems. I talked to my difficult child extensively figuring somehow she has at least inadvertently created this herself, but this time, it really does sound like she may be innocent. I told her to talk to the owner roommate and present her side of the story today when he returns, so it's a big day for her. She was understandably upset and I felt so sorry for her after her initial excitement in finding this place herself. This has been such a good opportunity, but if the other roommate is going to continually cause problems, it may not be the place for her. Or it could be a series of misunderstandings that may be able to be cleared up with direct communication, I don't know. She is going to talk to the owner today, so if you guys can muster up some good board juju for the right outcome, whatever that is, to put her in the appropriate place where she is safe and happy, I would so appreciate it.

    I am feeling pretty disappointed myself. It hurts my heart to see her so sad after she has been trying so hard to make everything work. My reaction to all of this was different, and much better for me. I did not get into that fixit place and feel angry, I listened to her and offered my opinion and advice. She listened to me too. I pointed out that she has her belongings out of storage now and that is a very important step and that whatever happens, I know she can deal with it. Perhaps this is a life lesson for her in working something out. She admitted to me that she can be "abrasive" and others don't always like her and that she had to try to overcome that. I had never heard her say ANYTHING even remotely like that before, so I took that self disclosure and honest self appraisal as a positive thing too.

    I am a little worried right now. And, I feel sad that it just never seems to get easier for her. Life has been pretty tough for her for a long time and I was hoping that tide had changed. Sigh....... Thanks everyone, I appreciate any good wishes you can send her way today.........
  2. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So sorry to hear this latest development. I will rattle beads that her talk goes well and all is resolved amicably and to everyone's best intrest. -RM
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Gosh, sorry for her. Did she sign a lease? I hope the talk goes well. Change is hard for everyone and maybe this other guy doesn't do well with having to get used to a new person with new ways of doing things....uggg. Sending positive energy and prayer her way....
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending good thoughts her way ... and yours!
  5. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Sending good thoughts to you both.
  6. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    It is amazing how fast their lives can change for better or worse. Right now my difficult child is in a 'better spot' so I am enyoying it, not knowing how long it will last!

    Coping is much easier when they are adults and out of the house, but it is still a stress.

    Sadly, I worked with people like your daughter's roommate. Prayers for her to be able to work it out. Hope you are having a good day.

    (((blessings for us all)))
  7. Good thoughts coming your way! Hope it all works out well for her.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Holding good thoughts and sending positive juju the meeting goes well and this gets cleared up.

    If it does not work out, it's probably not a place she'd want to stay in anyway as it would just be continuous drama which would not be a good environment for her. She doesn't need drama at this point.

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I think she's innocent. Just a feeling......but I think there is something going on with this middle room mate.......and he's a jerk. I'm going with )))))))))))))TELL THE TRUTH MIDDLE ROOM MATE(((((((((((( VIBES and )(BE REASONABLE_Sr. ROOMMATE VIBES) and.......THE GIRL IS AWESOME AND NEEDS A BREAK LORD prayers......I'm wondering if it has something to do with cats?