difficult child crossed a major line

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by GuideMe, Oct 19, 2014.

  1. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    I've been sitting here staring at my screen for a half an hour because I can not find the words to describe what I am feeling. I am trying really, really hard not to say the words that I feel right now towards difficult child. On the anger meter 1-10, I am at 1000 right now. I can not believe she did what she just did. I WANT HER OUT OF MY LIFE NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Wow! Just remember a life sentence isn't the way to go.

    Can I suggest you have her removed from the home today and then go from there.
  3. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    If I could. I would.
  4. Bone Weary

    Bone Weary New Member

    Praying for your comfort and protection!
  5. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Thank you Bone weary, I am definitely going to need the protection part. These laws from the government forcing me to keep her in my home, I wonder if they truly know what they are doing to us.
  6. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    What laws make you keep her at home? Did she put you in danger? If so, you should call the police. If she is a danger to you, you need to do whatever you can to get her away from you and the police could do that. I have no idea what she did, but violence, stealing, many things are against the law and there is no way you can't make her leave if she is over 21.

    Does she even know about eviction laws? Please...you need to take care of yourself.

    Do you have a therapist for yourself? We need one as much as our grown children do!!! If you feel like you may do something dangerous, please call a crisis line for help. We care about you.
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2014
  7. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Again, eviction laws. Please do not let me think about it because I get very angry thinking about what the cops say to me. They seem very happy to deliver the news to me that there is nothing I can do unless I do eviction, which then would put my safety at great risk even further. My difficult child does not take laws seriously, and yes, I do feel like she could hurt me very badly , even kill me, if that kind of pressure is brought upon her by an eviction notice. You have no idea what this girl has done to me in anger already. I explain all of this to the police, time and time again, but no one can tell what would really happen. Regardless, I am moving at the end of december. It really seems like a far time away from now....I am living under 100% duress. I hate the fact my abuser and my terrorist is my own daughter. I am angry in about a thousand different ways because I have felt nothing short of a hostage living with her. The abuse is really bad. I even video it and showed the cops the last time they were here and they just IGNORED it. I really think they get happy telling me that there is nothing they can do unless she lays a hand on me and even then, it's her word against my word. My daughter would hurt herself to put marks on herself to say that I hit her if the cops ever did come under those circumstances. She has ZERO problem lying to the police and throwing me into jail. She would throw me into jail in a blink of an eye. Things are BAD here. I can't wait until I am gone , oh my god , I can not wait. Almost over, but yet so far.....two months and two weeks....might seem like a short amount of time to you all, but that is dog years for us right now. The pressure is on and she knows that she has to move and has no where to go. You think she is going to go out easy? Nah uh. This is already known. Hopefully I will have my safe zone set up for the last two months. It starts this Friday. I am going to stay with a friend the majority of the time until the end of december. If that works out, at least I'll have that much. It's just a travesty that I have to live this way, don't you agree?
  8. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    GM, I think you should talk to a lawyer. You may be able to remove her, if she is dangerous, without having to worry about eviction laws. I definitely do think December is a long time away if your daughter is a threat to kill you. Sadly, my son was also a danger to me. I didn't call the police. Maybe I should have. Instead, he left one day and I never allowed him back in. As smart as he is, and he is VERY smart, he never thought of eviction laws, nor did I since I'd never thought about it as an eviction. He did not come back or try to get back into the house. If he had, I may have had to call a lawyer because he was not only dangerous to me, he was dangerous to my daughter.

    I always think it is very sad when those we love abuse us. When it is our children, it is the saddest of all. But parent abuse is getting more publicity lately and it is far more common than we ever realized. And it is no more acceptable than parent's abusing children. Abuse is abuse.

    Hang in there and we are here for you.
  9. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Well, one time, when the police were here, they made it KNOWN to her what the eviction laws were. I spoke to several attorney's and they all couldn't help. They acted like I was speaking a different language when I explained the story to them. So yeah, I am screwed. I just keep going back to being in disbelief that this is happening with my own daughter.
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Do you have a domestic violence group in your area? CALL THEM! Usually they deal with spousal abuse but this is basically the same thing and they WILL help you and it's all strictly confidential. They will give you valuable advice, help you make a plan to ensure your safety, even give you a safe place to stay if you need it. PLEASE call them! They will help you.
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  11. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    I agree with calling domestic violence center as they can give you YOUR RIGHTS if you are being abused. There have been changing thoughts on protecting ALL victims of DV - even parents/family member. You won't know what resources are available to you unless you make the call.
  12. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I agree what everyone else has said. Call the local battered woman's shelter. Also, you could try going to the court and asking for a domestic abuse restraining order removing her from the home! Literally, most places you go to the clerk's office, they help you fill out the petition and see the judge in his office. You should be able to apply for a temporary restraining order, tell a judge your story, and if he grants it, she would not know until the cops showed up and told her to pack. If he does not grant it, she'll never know you tried.

    Short of that, there is no law against being nasty and screaming and shouting. Most likely, only if you have been physically injured will she be arrested.
  13. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    I am going to try this. Thank you so much. I have a problem that I need to speak with someone about privately regarding all of this. Is anyone available who knows my story who can talk to me?
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    If you call a domestic violence organization they can advise you about what steps to take. They can even help you fill out the paperwork if needed. Things may have changed since I was involved but ask about getting an Order of Protection vs a restraining order.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so glad that you have a plan to move, regardless. I totally agree with-the domestic abuse shelter idea.
    Take care.
  16. LoveSushi

    LoveSushi Member

    This post is 9 months old. I don't think the original poster is around anymore.