Hello friends and fellow parents-- Some of you may know of the difficulties I've had this week with finally having to kick my 20yr difficult child son out on Tuesday of this week. I thought that might be the traumatic event he needed to get his life together, after his violent episode earlier this week (used profanity in my face and threw a chair across the room, not actually putting his hands on me, but I feared he would). He was refusing treatment, basically living as a non-contributing zombie in my home. But Tuesday's episode was the last straw. I kicked him out, it was a sad and angry departure from my home. It was also the longest day in history for me not knowing where he was going with no money or job or friends in this big city. Later that same night my mother contacted me that difficult child had arrived at her house, where he's been staying the past couple of days. No contact with him.... until today. He emailed me the following: This is a new phone and i dont have your number so im emailing you. I feel horrible for the things i said to you and how i left like it was nothing. I could never have imagined ever treating you like that. I dont want us to be seperated like we have since i left. I was in the wrong to treat you that way. Im here looking for a job in the mall. Im trying to get my life together. I didnt think it would take this long. I just dont want us to be apart. Its already enough on me that ive been unable to be a role model for (10yr easy child son). He deserves and needs one. So im sorry i havent been that. I think its best i stay here until things change, im sorry mom. Getting this email from him made me cry. Just hearing from him actually. But I just don't know how to respond. I know that this is the 1st contact after the big event of kicking him out for the first time ever, so I now that how I handle this will set a precedent for all future communication with him. If I sound too happy and eager to hear from him, he may try and swindle his way back home (which I would not allow), but if I sound too harsh, it might discourage him from really trying to get his life together. A little background.. Before this whole depression/social anxiety/possible drug-related situation started 2 years ago, we were the best of friends. All through high school, difficult child was one of the most popular students in school, I was always attending assemblies where he was receiving an award, helping me around the house so much, even being supportive during my divorce in 2009 with easy child's dad, and he was basically my little buddy his whole life, I never had to discipline him or yell at him, he was literally the Perfect Child. Until after graduation when he left out of state to attend the college where his dad (and dad's family) lived. He was never close to his dad, only seeing him during the summers of his childhood. Something happened while he was over there. Maybe he got with the wrong crowd, maybe a girl broke his heart, I'll never know. I've tried to pry it out of him to no avail. What I'm trying to say is that what happened Tuesday, when he finally had that outburst after being a zombie in my home for almost a whole year, was the worst thing that ever happened in the history of our relationship. He had never said *uck You to me, or shown any slight bit of violence. So that is the background. Now here is his email to me.. I know i can NOT ever allow him to live in my home again. But I would love to have some type of relationship with him. I just don't know how to handle this, or how to respond. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated!!!