difficult child finally understand how we felt when she did nothing to contribute

[Nancy]

difficult child has been calling everyday telling us about her new job. She loves it but then she's said that about every job she's had. But we do detect a difference in her with this one. I asked if it was better than her last job and she said way better. She's still in training and has been getting a lot of positive feedback. Half the time is computer training which she says she completes easily and the other half she serves under supervision. She trains three days next week and then Friday and gets her own tables and the trainer follows her all day and she gets verified hopefully. This restaurant is a much higher class than the old one, corporate owned, many rules to follow, which will either make her or break her.

Yesterday she called to talk to husband about her roommate who is not paying her share of the rent or utilities. She has her boyfriend living there too and they are both eating her food and not replacing it, when she complained they told her it was the government's money not hers, because it was food stamps, difficult child's food stamps that she qualifies for. They don't buy toilet paper or any of the household supplies and they do no cleaning or taking care of the apartment.

She wants to kick them both out and husband gave her advice on what to do. She told the boyfriend last week he needed to leave but he hasn't yet. She tried telling them tonight but they both came home drunk so she's going to confront them again tomorrow. husband said he finds it interesting that this is the first time difficult child has shown any outrage that people are not being responsible. I'm hoping that she is learning some small lessons by having to deal with this and will think twice next time before offering her apartment to anyone.

We found a health insurance program she qualifies for thanks to Obamacare and got her the app to fill out. Hopefully that will be one less worry, they even cover mental health and addiction.

 

[toughlovin]

Oh I hope she is learning from this as well... and it is good news on the job front... and I think ti is great that she calls you and husband for advice (but isnt asking you to do it for her).

TL

 

[rejectedmom]

Sounds good. I too hope she is learning a better way to be and how to set and maintain boundries. And I hope that learning that lesson leads to honoring the boundries of others also. I will keep her and all our difficult children in my prayers. -RM

 

[Marcie Mac]

This made me smile Nancy about the roommates. Danny is renting a really nice house up the road, 4 bedrooms, and rented one of them out to two girls, total difficult child's. I thought they were friends of his, but no, he picked them up via Craig's list. They moved in last month, and got their 30 days notice to move out already. He came with a litany of complaints the other day, they got hair dye on the walls, were lazy and wouldn't help clean, left dirty dishes laying around, wouldn't kick in with money for the household bills like electric, water, trash which is in his name and now HE has to pay for it all, and the absolute horror, they blasted country music constantly. One of them is out of work and he was outraged she told him she wasn't paying for anything as she needed her money for herself, and had the nerve to complain to him when he shut off their computer/tv access since they wouldn't pay their fair share.

I was trying not to laugh. Especially when he was complaining that they packed all of HIS cleaning supplies - he made them give them back because, don't you know, that stuff is expensive.

You gotta love when the lightbulb finally goes on with them and there is a measure of poetic justice going round. I hope your girl doesn't have too much of a problem getting rid of her room mates - they sound like a whole lot of trouble.

Marcie

 

[Kathy813]

Nancy, is that the pre-existing condition insurance plan? I am so relieved that my difficult child finally has health insurance even if we have to pay the premiums.

I hope the lessons stick. My difficult child complained about people stealing her stuff in the supposed sober house (it was really a flop house) and said she was sorry that she did that to us.

Unfortunately, after she started drinking again she stole from us again. Hopefully, your difficult child will actually internalize this stuff.

I'll keep my fingers crossed.

 

[Nancy]

Lol Marcie poetic justice it is. All those years preaching not to waste and clean up your dump of a room and start helping around the house. And to hear her now say " they don't do a darn thing around the house" was just so great. I couldn't have taught her the lesson she is learning now for anything. I'm hoping she doesn't have much trouble either but neither roommate or the boyfriend drive and will be virtually homeless so they won't go easily.

Kathy this is a program through our public hospital. They have always served the poor but this program is free and is actual insurance instead of just emergency care. No pre existing conditions clause. And they also cover dental.

 

[Kathy813]

Oh wow. I wonder if we could convince our difficult child to move to Ohio. We have nothing like that here.

 

[rejectedmom]

Oh my Kathy, I was thinking the same thing! -RM

 

[in a daze]

Illinois has a program for people who have pre existing conditions and have been turned down for insurance. Our difficult child just turned 26 so he is off our policy in a month. I also might see if he can get a medical card/public aid instead. Spoke to a social worker who said he could get a medical card even if he has not been declared disabled since he has bipolar disorder. I will have to see about that. The state insurance may be pricey, high deductibles 200-300 a month but it is decent insurance none the less, Blue Cross/Blue Shield PPO.

 

[Signorina]

Oh nancy, I don't want to write it lest I jinx it but ...your difficult child has shown some big leaps in maturity...and she seems to be getting in touch with some of the values you raised her with...

crossing fingers and toes...