difficult child finally went to the hospital.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathy813, Jul 8, 2013.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I got a call yesterday morning from difficult child saying she was in the ER and waiting to be admitted. She called later that afternoon saying she was admitted into the psychiatric ward for "a few days" while they got her back on her medications and stabilized. The first call was very confrontational with a list of demands of what we had to pay for her. She expected us to pay for her to renew her license which she had let expire, pay for her car registration, and pay for her car insurance that she had let lapse.

    Um, no. She started up with her usual "Well, if you won't help me I should have just killed myself." I told her that I wouldn't listen to that and hung up.

    difficult child called back later that night and seemed much calmer and in the mood to talk. It actually was a good talk and I got to say a lot of things that I have been wanting to say. I asked her why she had been so uncooperative in working with us with a budget and sending pictures of her paycheck so we knew how much money she was making (things that she had agreed to in residential) and she said it was because she was mad that we had sent her away. She said she felt abandoned and that we didn't want her anymore (part of her borderline personality disorder).

    I was in tears and I asked her what she would have done if it was her daughter and she had found her overdosed on the couch and then found out later that she was shooting heroin into her veins. She tried to change the subject and I wouldn't let her. I repeated the question and told her she had to answer me. There was a long silence and she finally said that she would have done what we had done.

    I sent an email to the interventionist we had worked with and our family therapist that difficult child was in the p-hospital. The family therapist is talking to the treatment team about what comes next. I told her that we cannot afford another residential stay so if difficult child needs to go back into residential it will have to be one that takes her insurance and will take the rest on a sliding scale based on her zero income. The family therapist said she knows of some places that might work and she would discuss the options with the treatment team. She said that difficult child would only need a 30-day stay this time since she had been in long-term residential not too long ago.

    Of course, difficult child swears that she did not relapse. She says she was off her medications and went to visit a friend of hers from Atlanta that was in Orlando. I told her that I didn't believe her since all addicts say that. She said the blood test they did at the hospital will prove it. Of course, if she was drinking and waited long enough then that wouldn't show up.

    So that's where we stand.

  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Oh Kathy, I know your mommy heart is breaking. Please know she is safe right now and try to let that be enough. Try not to get ahead of yourself. I will light a candle for you and all of our mommy hearts tonight. XO
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you Kathy.....I think it is a very good sign that she went to the hospital! Prayers for you all...
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I am thinking of you Kathy. Hopefully she can get into a 30 day program after her psychiatric hospital stay.
  5. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Kathy, hugs to you. I know how hard this is. Glad she's back in the hospital, and hopefully they will find a placement for her that will help and something based on her (zero) income.

  6. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Anyone with a medical background? I have a question . . .

    difficult child had what looked like an infected pimple on her face and finally went to the ER about a week ago the left side of her face became swollen. They lanced it and said it was staph and gave her a prescription for an antibiotic.

    difficult child claims that she never took the antibiotic and was told today that it had been MRSA (she is at the same hospital) but that since it had healed she didn't need any antibiotics now.

    Does that make any sense to anyone? I thought MRSA was very hard to cure and that she would need an antibiotic.

    She is also claiming that they did an EKG and saw something abnormal and are going to do follow up testing.

    I'm not sure what to think.

  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    My daughter had staph on her face - her face ended up blowing up so bad she was in the hospital on IV antibiotics for about nine days. Now she has told me several times since that it has come back in various areas and that she was able to use bleach to get rid of it. A couple of times she went to the hospital and had it lanced. The "spider bite" she swears she had was staph...she had surgery and I promise you that she did NOT take her antibiotics after. She was fine and it healed.

    So, is it possible? Yes. But it may be something now that comes back all of the time. I swore to difficult child that her drug use and not taking care of herself contributed to it returning, but the doctor shot me down right in front of her saying those things had nothing to do with it. Once you have it, you can get it again...
  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Holding good thoughts for you and difficult child.......
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sometimes doctors need to listen to what they say.
    Yes, once you have it, you can get it again.
    But... a run-down immune system is more likely to get it again, than someone who is taking good care of their body!
  10. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Kathy, I just asked my daughter (ER nurse) and her response was that typically, MRSA would need to be treated in the Hospital with an IV of vancomycin (sp?). She said without that type if treatment, it either is not MRSA or very rare that it would Heal in its own. Sigh. It's always something with our difficult child's isn't it?

    Hopefully whatever is going on isn't serious

  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First of all Kathy I am sorry this is all happening but very glad she is back in the hospital.

    I don't know anything about MRSA but I have heard about so many people contracting staph infections lately. I think my difficult child had a staph infection onher arm last month. She said it broke open and finally healed but she still has a lump on her arm under the skin.
  12. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Kathy as far as the MRSA treatment goes, my difficult child had it on her face. They lanced it and then internal and external antibiotics. Her youngest son got it on his knee when he was crawling stage and was in hospital for 5 days with intro antibiotics. So I think treatment depends on the severity of the MRSA.
  13. jal

    jal Member

    Once you get MRSA, it does not leave your body. You can treat it with antibiotics, but it is always there. My mother in law contracted it in a rehabilitation center after she had back surgery. It took months, upon months for the wound to close up. Now her ortho will not do a knee replacement because she's had MRSA.
  14. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The bill from the ER visit was sent here and was for over $600. I wonder if they did give her an IV antibiotic drip. I'll have to ask her the next time I talke to her. She specifically said, though, that they told her since it was healed she didn't need any additional antibiotics.

    I'm a little worried about the abnormal EKG because we have an extensive history of heart disease on my side of the family. I also read that MRSA can affect the heart although it seems like it hasn't been long enough for that to have happened.

    I'll update when I hear from her.

    ETA: I just asked husband if he knew if she had been given antibiotics at the ER and he said yes. He was the one that talked to her that night. difficult child said that she had just not filled the follow-up prescription. So maybe that is why it healed and they told her she didn't need anymore at this time.
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2013
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would insist on a speaker phone conference call next time she has a conversation with a doctor in the hospital. You can not rely on anything she is telling you. Either that or get her to sign the HIPPA to release info to you!
  16. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Oh Kathy, I am so sorry you are going through this worry but very glad she is in the hospital. I agree you cant believe anything she says..... she is going to tell you whatever she thinks will get you to help her and also she may not really get what is going on with her. So yes she needs to sign a release so that you can talk to the doctor. I would tell her to please sign that form so that you can understand what is going on and how you can help. If she signs it then I would talk to the doctor and let him know about her drug abuse... hopefully they have already figured that out...

    This whole hippa thing drives me nuts. I understand the need for it but really with our young adult children they often dont know what questions to ask or how to advocate for themselves.... I have found this to also be true of my very together easy child 18 year old daughter!

  17. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Kathy, you handled everything really well. I know how hard it is to remain present when your child is confused and in pain. ( Well, actually I don't know that, never having managed to remain present in the face of my own difficult child's pain.)

    It is, however, a condition to which I aspire.


    It is a positive that difficult child went to the hospital and allowed herself to be admitted. Another positive that, when you were able to remain present, difficult child began seeing things differently, too. I am glad your daughter is receiving the help she needs.

    Sending strength, Kathy, and believing in a good outcome for difficult child.

  18. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I did ask her if she had signed a release for us to talk with the people at the hospital. First, she said no so I told her not to call me back until she did. Then she quickly said that she had signed the release. Next time she calls, I am going to ask her the name of the doctor that has been treating her and see if I can contact him/her.

    According to difficult child, she has told them all about her stay at the residential treatment center and gave them her p-doctor's name. I also asked our family therapist to have the p-doctor call the hospital doctor to discuss her medications after hearing that they are giving her benzo's in the hospital.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Is there such a thing as a "loving Good Grief?"....difficult child is a major challenge! I remain on your team! Hugs DDD
  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks, Barbara, but believe me I am not handling this well at all. I had a very bad parenting moment today when difficult child smugly called me crazy at one point in the conversation and I replied that I was not the crazy one in this conversation and that if we looked up crazy in the dictionary we would see her picture.

    Yes, I know, I get the prize for worst mother of the year.