I got a call yesterday morning from difficult child saying she was in the ER and waiting to be admitted. She called later that afternoon saying she was admitted into the psychiatric ward for "a few days" while they got her back on her medications and stabilized. The first call was very confrontational with a list of demands of what we had to pay for her. She expected us to pay for her to renew her license which she had let expire, pay for her car registration, and pay for her car insurance that she had let lapse.
Um, no. She started up with her usual "Well, if you won't help me I should have just killed myself." I told her that I wouldn't listen to that and hung up.
difficult child called back later that night and seemed much calmer and in the mood to talk. It actually was a good talk and I got to say a lot of things that I have been wanting to say. I asked her why she had been so uncooperative in working with us with a budget and sending pictures of her paycheck so we knew how much money she was making (things that she had agreed to in residential) and she said it was because she was mad that we had sent her away. She said she felt abandoned and that we didn't want her anymore (part of her borderline personality disorder).
I was in tears and I asked her what she would have done if it was her daughter and she had found her overdosed on the couch and then found out later that she was shooting heroin into her veins. She tried to change the subject and I wouldn't let her. I repeated the question and told her she had to answer me. There was a long silence and she finally said that she would have done what we had done.
I sent an email to the interventionist we had worked with and our family therapist that difficult child was in the p-hospital. The family therapist is talking to the treatment team about what comes next. I told her that we cannot afford another residential stay so if difficult child needs to go back into residential it will have to be one that takes her insurance and will take the rest on a sliding scale based on her zero income. The family therapist said she knows of some places that might work and she would discuss the options with the treatment team. She said that difficult child would only need a 30-day stay this time since she had been in long-term residential not too long ago.
Of course, difficult child swears that she did not relapse. She says she was off her medications and went to visit a friend of hers from Atlanta that was in Orlando. I told her that I didn't believe her since all addicts say that. She said the blood test they did at the hospital will prove it. Of course, if she was drinking and waited long enough then that wouldn't show up.
So that's where we stand.
~Kathy
Um, no. She started up with her usual "Well, if you won't help me I should have just killed myself." I told her that I wouldn't listen to that and hung up.
difficult child called back later that night and seemed much calmer and in the mood to talk. It actually was a good talk and I got to say a lot of things that I have been wanting to say. I asked her why she had been so uncooperative in working with us with a budget and sending pictures of her paycheck so we knew how much money she was making (things that she had agreed to in residential) and she said it was because she was mad that we had sent her away. She said she felt abandoned and that we didn't want her anymore (part of her borderline personality disorder).
I was in tears and I asked her what she would have done if it was her daughter and she had found her overdosed on the couch and then found out later that she was shooting heroin into her veins. She tried to change the subject and I wouldn't let her. I repeated the question and told her she had to answer me. There was a long silence and she finally said that she would have done what we had done.
I sent an email to the interventionist we had worked with and our family therapist that difficult child was in the p-hospital. The family therapist is talking to the treatment team about what comes next. I told her that we cannot afford another residential stay so if difficult child needs to go back into residential it will have to be one that takes her insurance and will take the rest on a sliding scale based on her zero income. The family therapist said she knows of some places that might work and she would discuss the options with the treatment team. She said that difficult child would only need a 30-day stay this time since she had been in long-term residential not too long ago.
Of course, difficult child swears that she did not relapse. She says she was off her medications and went to visit a friend of hers from Atlanta that was in Orlando. I told her that I didn't believe her since all addicts say that. She said the blood test they did at the hospital will prove it. Of course, if she was drinking and waited long enough then that wouldn't show up.
So that's where we stand.
~Kathy
