difficult child getting married to a underage sex offender

[blb]

I agree with Janet, putting it in writing just gives the boyfriend's family fuel for the fire.

Nothing in writing, because it can always be twisted and used against you :frown: been there done that

 

[Ally]

I agree about the letter. I would hate to see it used against you by boyfriend's family and from the sounds of his family, they would.

 

[BusynMember]

I read all the responses first and here is mine.
Do you feel the wedding has any chance of lasting? Do you think that boy is going to keep his hands to himself? I would not help my daughter marry this boy. She could throw a fit and I wouldn't pay a dime and my gift would be, as suggested, something personal that can't be redeemed for money, such as a nice, personalized "welcome" sign for the home. This marriage will probably last as long as the money comes and I'd want my daughter out of danger and home before the baby is born. This is a sick kid (him) and his family sounds sick too. I wouldn't bother with a long letter because difficult child's can keep letters, show them to others, and have others misinterpret them. I put nuttin' in writing...lol...unless I'm writing to myself only (yes, I'm crazy...lol). In two months, if you don't give her money, she'll be begging to come home. I would do nothing to sustain this sad relationship. This is not a safe partner for your daughter or her baby and it's kind, in my opinion, to do all you can to discourage it, even if she initially feels you are being mean and tosses threats at you, like that she'll never see you again, blah, blah, blah. I think she'll need you badly very soon. Don't make them feel like Romeo and Juliet. Just detach. (((Hugs)))

 

[Masta]

Yesterday I called difficult child to see if she had spoken to her in-laws since they cancelled our meeting to discuss the wedding. difficult child answered the phone defensively but then tried to act decent (probably in hopes of still getting some money out of me). she told me her in-laws still do not want to discuss why they cancelled the meeting. she told me she was getting ready for work and told me how many hours and what time she would be at work yesterday.

I decided to take the to her in person yesterday at her work (McDonalds), this was before I read everyone's posts advising me not to take the letter to difficult child. When husband and I arrived at her work she was working the drive thru and seen us pretty much straight away. she was already 3hrs into her shift. her boss allowed her to go on her 30min break. we talked the whole time mainly about her and the baby. she told me her b/friend doesn't want her to get a certain test done (she doesn't know the name of the test but its probably an amniocentesis) to see if there is anything wrong with the baby. she wants to get the test. I told her she should do what she wants, its her body and if b/friend doesn't want to know the results then not to tell him. if she doesn't want to know the results then at least her doctor will know and be prepared once the baby is due.

30 mins flew by so fast.. I hadn't seen her in weeks....she is starting to show (she is 16 weeks now). just as we were about to leave I gave her a hug (she doesn't like affection much)... I held on tight and told her I loved her. husband told her he loved her more. then I handed her this letter and told her to remember no matter what, when she reads the letter we still love her ,then we left.

I haven't heard from her since giving her the letter.

 

[Sunlight]

she is going to let the boyfriend and family read the letter. at this point at least you know that you told her. you warned her. she also knows you love her.

let the end results be up to God.

 

[rejectedmom]

I vote for not paying also, aside from that you really have no say in your daughter's life as she chooses to live it. I'm sorry you are dealing with all this. -RM