difficult child got double whammy of b.s. that wasn't his fault, UGH !!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Farmwife, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    Poor difficult child (who has been really trying hard lately) had a bad bad bad day and it wasn't even his fault.

    First, we had to go put some fence posts in next to our fields as we noticed the local teen hooligans were at the annual "destruction of crops derby", again. We have to try to protect the crops, we aren't mega farmers with cash to spare.

    As difficult child went to put the post driver away in husband's grandpas shed things got dumb. Grandpa is bordering on senile/pudding brained/mean and was drunk. (a long time, mostly smiling functional alcoholic) Since he is "slipping" he imagines everyone is moving his things or taking them. (he forgets where he puts things and accuses others of moving them) husband and gramps have a long standing share and share alike policy with very large and pricey equipment.

    Anyway, difficult child was putting the driver away as he was told to by husband. Grandpa had a fit about how he needed it (which he did NOT) and used several choice obscenities at difficult child. husband and gramps share a lot but since we rent his land we are serfs in a sense. Grands also live across a driveway and 20 yards away so no way to avoid them. We were given our plot to build so we cannot move. (if you consider it given when we have 10,000 strings and obligations attached to the "gift") This was the second time gramps flipped out on my difficult child. I suspect it is because he is not a blood relation which cheeses me off to no end. difficult child did nothing wrong either time.

    So, we can bring it up and discuss with gramma and gramps but gramps will "slip" and probably mouth off again for something else because somehow he decided difficult child is his scapegoat. difficult child kind of gets that the man is losing it but it doesn't make him less frustrated or make it more right. The man has stress but he doesn't treat anyone else besides difficult child like that so I am personally offended very much.

    As if that wasn't enough...

    We "caught" the culprits from the damage in the fields. Caught as in got the license plate and did a high speed chase to flush them off our road. Called the sheriff and reported the drama. We are hoping for follow up because someone is due a butt chewing from their parents for not just destroying crops on a few peoples fields but doing burn outs all day long and racing up and down our gravel road at 60+ m.p.h

    The grand finale is that we suspect we discovered who the hooligan is. It is a boy difficult child has known since they played baseball on the same team a couple years ago. The kid is on the footbll team but a year ahead of difficult child. The kid is very popular and usually decent to difficult child or ignores him politely since they are in different circles but was never ever mean to him. Always at least said hi and stuff. The kids Dad is very strict and took driving away from the boy for an entire semester last year for a much smaller infraction.

    So, a kid difficult child looks up to and a kid who has MAJOR social pull at school will probably lose driving for at least a semester of junior year. Regardless of it being that kids fault and problem to live with, I know difficult child will at least get enough garbage talked to him and about him to really throw him for a loop with his fragile and new found confidence, just because it was our road and us that caught him in the act. Or if the kid is really mad it can be a bad school year for difficult child who finally just got all his ducks in a row. (home life good, iep in school finally, job and sports)


    I feel so awful for difficult child. He really didn't deserve any of this. this is the biggest hoover that ever could hoover!:sad-very:
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It's not fair. I hate being obligated to anyone, my father indoctrinated me to never owe anything to anyone. But sometimes it can't be helped.

    As for the kid doing burnouts in your crops, he shouldn't be relying on your concerns for difficult child preventing you from reporting it. If difficult child does cop any social flak from this boy or his friends, dob him in, it's interfering with a witness and intimidation. I bet his daddy would be cross with him if his son tries to punish someone else (especially the victim) for getting caught.

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    WOW! You are up to your eyeballs.
    I am so sorry for all of you.
    But you are doing well in that you can see the bigger picture.
    Hugs to difficult child. Maybe grandma can get grandpa to go on medications? But with-all that alcohol, it would kind of defeat the purpose. Just a thought.
  4. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    Marg- Yeah the indebtedness does breed some contempt. I'm just transplanted in a culture that was set into motion long before I got here. Though husband is wonderful we are in a very traditional patriarch run community. It is archaic by modern standards but just how it is in farm communities. Women have opinions but not often a vote...persuasion and charm is the only way to assert ourselves. Not how I was raised but it has it's benefits too. I hated city life desperately. husband and I built most of our home by hand, you would never know it though.

    husband lived here all his life and is the third generation on this farm. There were several other generations of farmers before who had to relocate as the city grew around their land. Anyway...husband never would or could live elsewhere. The land was "gifted" to him before I entered his life and his dream home was deep into the preparation stages when we met. (he is old fashioned and wanted a house before he looked for a wife) So, I married an entire family of crazy people for better or for worse. Grandpa pudding brain is in charge. :laugh:

    As for the boy, he should pay the piper and he will. The trouble with kids here is that the more you try to intervene the more they get nasty in secret. If I tried to send a polite message to the kids Dad it would just be worse for difficult child. difficult child's only safety is that several people up and down our road were mad from the damages and it was just "luck" we were the ones that caught them.

    Not sure if a kid who lost his independence from being grounded and is the type to jeopordize his life jumping deep road ditches (one would have almost flipped his vehicle it is so bad) can see reason or act in a mature fashion. :whiteflag: There is one ditch that has a 10 foot drop off and could literally take his life...of course he is young and invincible and hopped up on hormones so chances are difficult child will still bear the brunt of his anger.

    Terry- He calls his beer his medicine:tongue:. Maybe I could slip something into his beer...little sugar to get the real medicine down.lol