difficult child got his first job. I'm happy and nervous.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Farmwife, Jul 1, 2010.

  1. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    difficult child has been mostly not a pain lately. He has his moments but being off from school eases his stress/behaviors.

    He JUST got his first job!! He will be a bus boy at a local bar/eatery. We are in a small town so the atmopsphere at the bar is not a worry. Picture the tv show "Northern Exposure" but in the middle of farms instead of Alaska and you get the idea...

    He is ultra excited, enthusiastic and willing to accept my suggestion to put some money in savings for his future car. The job will start out at a couple hours a couple times a week so very very part time, lol. In our town this place only serves food on certain days and times due to lack of customers.

    So here comes the worry for me. difficult child is a very hard worker. Being a bus boy will be a cake walk compared to farm chores this boy has dealt with. The problem is his auditory processing problem and short term memory issues. Basically everything literally goes in one ear, bounces around and then shoots out the other ear. Even when he is trying real hard he gets things backwards or forgets details. He's a one instruction at a time kind of guy. Due to his level of excitement and self esteem issues I am so afraid of him messing up and getting fired. I know getting fired would be a HUGE set back for his self image that is pretty damaged already.

    I know it's just a bus boy job. They hired him on the spot with a 3 minute interview and no application so it seems kind of casual. He has started to repeat things people ask him to do so he remembers better. I hope I hope I hope it is enough. This is the first step towards being an adult and not needing social security later in life. I know getting fired from a teen job is not a big deal but this just feels so important and scary to me.

    Since this is a small town part of me wants to have a polite secret conversation with the owner about how eager my difficult child is but that he may need "reminders" from time to time but not to take it as a bad or lazy attitude...I know that I can't do that his whole life so starting now would put my mind at ease but not help him in the long run...

    He starts tomorrow night and as much as I am looking forward to a quiet evening with husband I have butterflies in my stomach like it's MY first day of school.

    It just never ends with these difficult child's does it? :tongue:
  2. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    I used to manage a restaurant. Believe me we know the difference between someone who has troubles hearing/remembering and someone who has an attitude. We get them all. I would much rather tell someone three, four well even five times to do something and know he is trying then have an employee who is blowing me off. If it takes a stack of stickys then it takes a stack of stickys. Just do a quality job and we will find a way around the rest. Most instructions are on the order of one or two steps so they should be easy to remember, and after he does the job for a while he won't need many instructions at all.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That's wonderful news. I'll keep my fingers crossed that his strengths will far outweigh any deficits. DDD
  4. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I think he will do just fine. Working on a farm does mold you into being a very hard worker. Also, the fact that he had a 3 minute interview, no application and was hired on the spot is really saying something for your difficult child. I wish him Good Luck !!!!
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    You might want to talk to difficult child to see if he can use any of the methods he has learned to remember things with his new job. I always give difficult child a pep talk about no one starts the first day knowing everything. Ask questions, watch those that have been doing the job as a model, if you make a mistake, apologize, learn from it and move on. Accept responsibilities. No temper tantrums. If he is angry to wait until he is on his way home to blow.