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difficult child Got Married
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<blockquote data-quote="Hope_Floats" data-source="post: 638699" data-attributes="member: 18310"><p>I am so sorry that you are going through this. Let me share something t.hat might help. One night, some time back, when my difficult child was being particularly hurtful, I happened to ask, "What I have I done to make you so angry at me?" His response was enlightening. He looked surprised at my question, and said, "Mom, this isn't about you."</p><p></p><p>I now look at so many things that happen through that new lens. It's not about me. It's not about you. It's about THEM. They don't even think about how what they are about to do may be hurtful to us. So it's not really an intentional slight that you weren't invited. It could very well, under influence of some substance, have gone like this:</p><p></p><p>difficult child fiance: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we got married?</p><p>difficult child: Yeah!</p><p></p><p>Then if it ever crossed either of their minds to even INFORM either set of parents.......</p><p></p><p>Nah....they might ask sobering, grown-up questions, like....."Are you sure this is a good idea?"........"Are you sure you're ready for this?".........omg.....what a buzz-kill.</p><p></p><p>So, try not to take it personally. As difficult as that is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hope_Floats, post: 638699, member: 18310"] I am so sorry that you are going through this. Let me share something t.hat might help. One night, some time back, when my difficult child was being particularly hurtful, I happened to ask, "What I have I done to make you so angry at me?" His response was enlightening. He looked surprised at my question, and said, "Mom, this isn't about you." I now look at so many things that happen through that new lens. It's not about me. It's not about you. It's about THEM. They don't even think about how what they are about to do may be hurtful to us. So it's not really an intentional slight that you weren't invited. It could very well, under influence of some substance, have gone like this: difficult child fiance: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we got married? difficult child: Yeah! Then if it ever crossed either of their minds to even INFORM either set of parents....... Nah....they might ask sobering, grown-up questions, like....."Are you sure this is a good idea?"........"Are you sure you're ready for this?".........omg.....what a buzz-kill. So, try not to take it personally. As difficult as that is. [/QUOTE]
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