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difficult child Got Married
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 638894" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>My daughter did a similar thing to me 2.5 years ago. She asked us for $8,000 to marry the wealthy software company owner who is 14 years older than she and she had known four months chosen out of the final four she met on match.com (long story of lies and pretending we weren't a part of her life), and when we offered her $1,000 for her wedding it wasn't enough for her. She told me that I had never really been much of a mom to her anyway, and that I should set aside the date to attend but that her childhood pediatrician would be acting as mother of the bride because "she really loves me". (Translation - she's a psycho who will back my story and gives my "wealthy family" story cred.)</p><p></p><p>Instead, we moved from the Pacific NW where we had lived our entire lives - over 50 years - to a South Eastern coastal state. Was it easy? No. But my life with her - and after aged 2 when I married my current and only husband <em>our</em> lives with her - had been a torture from the day she was born. I miss my home, life couldn't be more different here from what I know. I miss my friends, but I don't miss her. I worry for the children she had - her legal tie to his money - but not so much that I would ever want to know them. I <em>would</em> want to know if she were to divorce him, because I'd want to let him know what he was in for for his sake and the sake of the children. Her dad is a high profile attorney specializing in false child sexual abuse allegations, both making them and defending child rapists by saying their accusers are brainwashed liars. FWIW, her pediatrician/mother of the bride is the doctor that testifies in all of his trials.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't change a thing about moving, other than I would have chosen someplace not so backasswards from where I grew up. It's been terribly difficult but at least these difficulties in my life are my own, not someone's made up stories about me. Are you even sure that she's going to school? My daughter used to register for school then withdraw and take the money to live on. Were I in your position I'd stop the money train and the care packages. That's not easy, and it's not for everyone. She'll tell everyone it's proof of how little you cared for her her entire life. In reality, that won't matter because people who know you know the truth, and people that don't know you think that anyway. I'll never speak to my daughter again, nor her children. She made this bed, and now she gets to lounge around all day in it. </p><p></p><p>I hope that you will see a therapist ASAP to talk about your role in your daughter's life. Whatever the right role is for you, clearly the one you are living is not it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 638894, member: 99"] My daughter did a similar thing to me 2.5 years ago. She asked us for $8,000 to marry the wealthy software company owner who is 14 years older than she and she had known four months chosen out of the final four she met on match.com (long story of lies and pretending we weren't a part of her life), and when we offered her $1,000 for her wedding it wasn't enough for her. She told me that I had never really been much of a mom to her anyway, and that I should set aside the date to attend but that her childhood pediatrician would be acting as mother of the bride because "she really loves me". (Translation - she's a psycho who will back my story and gives my "wealthy family" story cred.) Instead, we moved from the Pacific NW where we had lived our entire lives - over 50 years - to a South Eastern coastal state. Was it easy? No. But my life with her - and after aged 2 when I married my current and only husband [I]our[/I] lives with her - had been a torture from the day she was born. I miss my home, life couldn't be more different here from what I know. I miss my friends, but I don't miss her. I worry for the children she had - her legal tie to his money - but not so much that I would ever want to know them. I [I]would[/I] want to know if she were to divorce him, because I'd want to let him know what he was in for for his sake and the sake of the children. Her dad is a high profile attorney specializing in false child sexual abuse allegations, both making them and defending child rapists by saying their accusers are brainwashed liars. FWIW, her pediatrician/mother of the bride is the doctor that testifies in all of his trials. I wouldn't change a thing about moving, other than I would have chosen someplace not so backasswards from where I grew up. It's been terribly difficult but at least these difficulties in my life are my own, not someone's made up stories about me. Are you even sure that she's going to school? My daughter used to register for school then withdraw and take the money to live on. Were I in your position I'd stop the money train and the care packages. That's not easy, and it's not for everyone. She'll tell everyone it's proof of how little you cared for her her entire life. In reality, that won't matter because people who know you know the truth, and people that don't know you think that anyway. I'll never speak to my daughter again, nor her children. She made this bed, and now she gets to lounge around all day in it. I hope that you will see a therapist ASAP to talk about your role in your daughter's life. Whatever the right role is for you, clearly the one you are living is not it. [/QUOTE]
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