difficult child had court this morning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Jun 11, 2010.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The judge started by looking thru the file and having a troubled but concerned look on his face, then listened to PO and def attny. The def attny, by the way, was actually a replacement from difficult child's regular one and I had never met her. I was shocked to see that she was actually older than most, TG, and advocated for difficult child not to go back to Department of Juvenile Justice. She spoke to PO while I was sitting next to him before court and tried to soften his position on recommitment at this point. I was pleased to see one actually do something reasonable instead of turning this into a major family and placement issue. Anyway, the judge was soft-spoken and told difficult child that no one had given up on him yet- not his mom or the PO or the court, however, he needed to start making better decisions and turn things around because if he kept going, he was going to be in adult court soon and things would be a lot different. He revoked his last suspended sentence of 30 days in detention and added another 30 days for a total of 60 more days in detention, starting today, and gave him a suspended sentence of recommitment to Department of Juvenile Justice if he gets out and reoffends, even for a parole violation. I thought that was fair and good that he stuck with the sentence he had suspended before then added a little more, but did not recommit at this point. The PO is good in a lot of ways- he sure is a lot more reasonable than the last probation officer, however, this PO has been used to working with more hard-core repeat offenders (serious offenses) and just doesn't get difficult child as well as he thinks he does. He's too much of a "oh, difficult child is just a typical teen and he just needs to learn a lesson and he can keep going to Department of Juvenile Justice until he learns it". Never mind that everyone else- even their own MH evaluator, has reported that difficult child's biggest problem is identity and stress and coping skills and he now idenntifies too much with "bad boys" because he just spent from 14yo to over 15yo locked up living with them- putting him right back there would only make this worse. And the obvious question remains- how would more time in Department of Juvenile Justice make for an easier transition at a later point in time if he's having this much trouble with it now? PO just sticks to "well, he just needs to make better decisions- he doesn't need a therapist or psychiatrist- he just needs to take responsibility for himself." I almost think this is more of a typical male outlook. It might have some truth to it, but I don't think it's as black and white as they are making it sound.

    Anyway, all in all, I think this was as good and fair as we could hope for. It messes up difficult child's educational goals though- he loses his spanish credit for the year because they don't teach spanish in detention. I can't get him on medicaid nor do I qualify for financial assistance while he's in detention. But, it's in difficult child's best interest not to get deeper in the system just yet.

    As far as the judge's reaction while looking thru the file- I wondered if it might have been my MH evaluation and I had been told that I could request a copy after it was complete and had been submitted to courts, so I called to find out but it isn't complete yet. So all that hoopla over my mental health, an evaluation, and whether or not a GAL was needed- notta- no GAL there or re-assigned, not even one question from the judge about whether or not I did the evaluation, it was all a moot point. I swear I wish they would learn not to make issue over things before even deciding if the situation warrants it.
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2010
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    k - yeah... I know the feeling. BIG deal over nothing and the important stuff is ignored.

    But - sounds like this judge is holding difficult child accountable, not you.