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difficult child has me exhausted watching him
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 28536" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Paula, I was fairly sure your church would be suggesting that sort of thing. If only it was that easy. But it isn't. They always have a reason for why he continues to be a problem, and generally that reason will come back to, "it's the mother's fault, she's not praying hard enough/hasn't got enough faith/is wearing the wrong colour shirt/whatever we can think of to let us off the hook for failing to heal him with prayer." The trouble is, this is severely limiting your asking your own family for support.</p><p></p><p>Ring the therapist and ask for an urgent appointment. Give her a description and tell her, "it's too hard." Also ask her how she is ever going to see his true colours when he is so good at hiding them, for the short session times she sees him? And she also sees him in a one to one situation with no distractions, low stress environment and he is the centre of attention. Next session, tell her you want to be present, along with easy child, and you want to be the one talking to her (about anything BUT difficult child - talk about diet options, maybe, or talk about easy child and how she is coping) until difficult child fires off with his usual behaviour. Because this change, especially with him not being at the centre of attention, should tip things over sufficiently for her to see what you're dealing with.</p><p></p><p>I'm hoping to have more chance to do some digging for you tomorrow - ironically, I couldn't today because we spent the whole day sitting around the hospital! Crazy, but there was nobody appropriate that I could ask and I couldn't leave easy child 2/difficult child 2 anyway. I also still haven't had a chance to talk to easy child yet, although I did email a general request for information and also emailed a link to this thread. easy child is my 'mole' in the health system.</p><p></p><p>But SRL has a couple of good ideas - the biggest one being the mention of health professionals' liability of they do nothing despite your desperate pleas for help. This is a really hot topic right now, PLUS we have election fever. It's more of a Federal issue anyway, and from memory your area is close enough to be swinging in the next election, especially the way the polls are going. Ring up your local Federal MP and ask them how desperate you have to be before your son, who is a danger to himself, to you and to his little sister, can get the help he so desperately needs. Point out that if you don't get help before he does more damage (and he's already ripped his arm open, out of sheer curiosity and morbid fascination with blood and wounds) then SOMEONE official is going to be liable and the media will have a field day with it. Your son already has 'form', so this isn't a mother crying wolf. He's already done this once, requiring hospital treatment. Does he have to rip open his other arm too? Or his baby sister's? If you push the panic button politically, they may put the pressure on the medical system for you sufficiently to get the hospitalisation he desperately needs. I know it can be done - you just need someone sufficiently high up to order it.</p><p></p><p>As I said, I'll keep asking questions too, find out what hoops you have to jump through.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 28536, member: 1991"] Paula, I was fairly sure your church would be suggesting that sort of thing. If only it was that easy. But it isn't. They always have a reason for why he continues to be a problem, and generally that reason will come back to, "it's the mother's fault, she's not praying hard enough/hasn't got enough faith/is wearing the wrong colour shirt/whatever we can think of to let us off the hook for failing to heal him with prayer." The trouble is, this is severely limiting your asking your own family for support. Ring the therapist and ask for an urgent appointment. Give her a description and tell her, "it's too hard." Also ask her how she is ever going to see his true colours when he is so good at hiding them, for the short session times she sees him? And she also sees him in a one to one situation with no distractions, low stress environment and he is the centre of attention. Next session, tell her you want to be present, along with easy child, and you want to be the one talking to her (about anything BUT difficult child - talk about diet options, maybe, or talk about easy child and how she is coping) until difficult child fires off with his usual behaviour. Because this change, especially with him not being at the centre of attention, should tip things over sufficiently for her to see what you're dealing with. I'm hoping to have more chance to do some digging for you tomorrow - ironically, I couldn't today because we spent the whole day sitting around the hospital! Crazy, but there was nobody appropriate that I could ask and I couldn't leave easy child 2/difficult child 2 anyway. I also still haven't had a chance to talk to easy child yet, although I did email a general request for information and also emailed a link to this thread. easy child is my 'mole' in the health system. But SRL has a couple of good ideas - the biggest one being the mention of health professionals' liability of they do nothing despite your desperate pleas for help. This is a really hot topic right now, PLUS we have election fever. It's more of a Federal issue anyway, and from memory your area is close enough to be swinging in the next election, especially the way the polls are going. Ring up your local Federal MP and ask them how desperate you have to be before your son, who is a danger to himself, to you and to his little sister, can get the help he so desperately needs. Point out that if you don't get help before he does more damage (and he's already ripped his arm open, out of sheer curiosity and morbid fascination with blood and wounds) then SOMEONE official is going to be liable and the media will have a field day with it. Your son already has 'form', so this isn't a mother crying wolf. He's already done this once, requiring hospital treatment. Does he have to rip open his other arm too? Or his baby sister's? If you push the panic button politically, they may put the pressure on the medical system for you sufficiently to get the hospitalisation he desperately needs. I know it can be done - you just need someone sufficiently high up to order it. As I said, I'll keep asking questions too, find out what hoops you have to jump through. Marg [/QUOTE]
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