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difficult child husbands
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 19501" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Sometimes it's just not worth demanding an apology. When you KNOW that a certain gesture is his form of apology, then at least you know THAT is genuine, even if it's short on the words you would like.</p><p></p><p>I know I'm lucky. I do have a difficult child husband, but he is aware of it. We can talk about it, even if I sometimes have to wait until we have some time to ourselves. Getting angry with him is like getting angry with myself - sometimes I do, but it's like banging your head against a wall when you know you've goofed. Futile. Much better to calm down and get on with what has to be done.</p><p></p><p>In our case a lot of what makes husband a difficult child is Asperger's, we're fairly sure. This has its good points - he's incredibly loyal, he is scrupulous about following rules and the law, he is extremely consistent. On the drawbacks - he can't cope with too much change or stress, he does get tired fairly easily and when he is stressed and tired he doesn't cope anywhere near as well. </p><p>But he knows it. That's the thing.</p><p></p><p>Yeah, he's SNAFUd at times and yelled, but we deal with it until we can laugh about it (sometimes THAT takes years). As he just said (yeah, he's looking over my shoulder) - "I do realise straight away when I've b***ered up, but it takes me time to be able to say so and sound like I mean it."</p><p></p><p>Keeping everybody's stress levels down - my aim in life.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 19501, member: 1991"] Sometimes it's just not worth demanding an apology. When you KNOW that a certain gesture is his form of apology, then at least you know THAT is genuine, even if it's short on the words you would like. I know I'm lucky. I do have a difficult child husband, but he is aware of it. We can talk about it, even if I sometimes have to wait until we have some time to ourselves. Getting angry with him is like getting angry with myself - sometimes I do, but it's like banging your head against a wall when you know you've goofed. Futile. Much better to calm down and get on with what has to be done. In our case a lot of what makes husband a difficult child is Asperger's, we're fairly sure. This has its good points - he's incredibly loyal, he is scrupulous about following rules and the law, he is extremely consistent. On the drawbacks - he can't cope with too much change or stress, he does get tired fairly easily and when he is stressed and tired he doesn't cope anywhere near as well. But he knows it. That's the thing. Yeah, he's SNAFUd at times and yelled, but we deal with it until we can laugh about it (sometimes THAT takes years). As he just said (yeah, he's looking over my shoulder) - "I do realise straight away when I've b***ered up, but it takes me time to be able to say so and sound like I mean it." Keeping everybody's stress levels down - my aim in life. Marg [/QUOTE]
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