difficult child II - feels so alone

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amazeofgrace, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    difficult child II met a new female friend, and this is always a difficult thing, because of his obsessive nature, but within two days she rudely cut off all communication.

    difficult child II really has no good friends, the few he had have distanced themselves because he is in the "mental" class (contained BD class), the stigmatism is there, I do not care what Special Education department says!

    I can't put him in team sports (too frustrating for him) and kids ar ejust so darn mean! Church has brought a few friends, that seem to be patient with his character "flaws" but it's so hard to watch your son feeling so alienated by his peers, sigh..............:sad-very:
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Amaze, I can totally relate to this. difficult child 1 basically has no friends. difficult child 2 has one friend. It really bites. And over the years I have tried to arrange their social life -- I'd throw parties for their whole class or sports team, but there's only so much you can do at this age.

    It's good that there are at least SOME kids at church who will tolerate your difficult child. Perhaps there are some summer youth group activities you can get him involved in? That may be his best chance at forming quality relationships.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I have a difficult child with similiar issues. I wish I had a magic answer for you. My difficult child will get a friend when he is doing well, but when he downslides the friend disappears.

    It is heartbreaking. I wish I had the answer.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I had the same problem with difficult child 1, and difficult child 2 is heading down the same path.

    difficult child 1 had 4 rotatin groups of friends, eventually, and as he'd tick off one group, another group would be forgiving enough to let him back...til he ticked them off again. Luckily, he was a good athlete, so during various seasons, the teams would deal with him. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing. Then again, if he hadn't had easy child 1 and his social life to observe, I'm not sure difficult child 1 would have ever left the house except for practice and games...

    hugs. Its hard.
  5. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Ah yes, I am dreading the long summer. difficult child in the same boat. She is just so mean to everyone!
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am trying to figure out how to avoid this...
    I have the anxiety attacks just thinking about this.
    I have heard the parents talk about the kids with issues... how they don't want their kids in the same class with them.
    It just breaks my heart.
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I can't do enough for manster's friend S. This friendship of theirs is proof that there really are other kids out there who can and will tolerate our kids annoyingness. Hang in there, AOG.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs to you. I know the feeling. difficult child never has play dates although they say he does have kids at school he hangs out with. The few times he has had play dates at our house he has done terrific with the other kids.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I know. Miss KT has difficulty keeping friends as well. She tees people off, and I don't think she even knows how she does it.
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Many of our difficult children, just because of who they are & the issues/diagnosis's they carry, struggle with social skills & tend to a bit immature in comparison to their peers. This makes for a very frustrating situation.

    Now is the time to work on social skills & help with gaining maturity. The social skills can be taught; the maturity is a bit harder & generally you have to be patient.

    I think we have all struggled with this & our hearts break for our children. It's a lonely life however they tend to catch up sooner rather than later.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Special Olympics have been wonderful for my difficult children. It gives them a place where everyone is more accepting of each other's challenges. We avoided SO for a long time because both of my boys have normal IQs and Kanga does fine in regular sports. Desperation to have a team that Tigger could play on (he was getting more and more depressed at being left out) had us try it. It has been outstanding. While the hug majority of participants are MR, there are an increasing number of difficult children as well. Any child with an IEP is eligible.