difficult child in hospital AGAIN

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by in a daze, Feb 13, 2013.

  1. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Third time in 2 weeks. He went to outpatient treatment yesterday. They found him to be impaired, speech slurred, unsteady gait. Brought to ER, drug tested, opiated and benzos positive, one of the medications was oxycontin. Had a plastic baggie with morphine pills and something else, some other controlled medication. They did a 72 hour hold on him but he ended signing himself in.

    Now refusing the halfway house and the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), although I think he might crack. He is calling me incessently to try to get us to bring him back home. We are standing strong. We are totally stressed out.
  2. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl Member

    Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to you!!!!! I know at times like this, it can be easier to cave in...but you won't be helping him if you do. Believe me, I'm having to learn this myself. Hardest lesson ever!!!!! Big hugs to you!!!!
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry IND. I believe in standing strong you're doing the right and only thing you can do. I know it's so hard. Hang in there. Many hugs to you, you and your family are in my prayers..........
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    So so sorry. Hang in there, we're here for you!
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I am sending prayers for your strength.
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So sorry he is using again and refusing treatment. Here is hoping he changes his mind very soon. -RM
  7. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. Sending lots of prayers your way! Stand strong - I know it's hard but it's the best thing you can do for him!
  8. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Sending positive thoughts your way. Hold your ground & do not give in.
  9. Payla

    Payla New Member

    Sending such strong hugs your way. My difficult child IN DETOX RIGHT NOW, calling trying to get our financial support . I told him before he went in That he had to find his own answers and we were done. Mediation, yoga, counseling,good friends and this board and husband are helping me stay strong emotionally to do what I intellectually know is 1110% the right thing for him and me.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so sorry. difficult child's are the hardest people do deal with and having to stay strong is about the only thing you can do. Honestly unless you want them in your home when they are full grown hairy butted men, you really must stick to your guns now. You dont want him in your home at 54 years old. trust me.
  11. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Sending strength. I know how hard this is for you. difficult child needs to be where he can be helped. Much as you love him, you just cannot provide what he needs to recover himself from your home.

    Holding you in my thoughts, this morning.

  12. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Thanks ever so much for your support, everyone. He has reluctantly agreed to go to rehab and social worker is planning to place him straight from the hospital. After that he needs to go to a halfway house and the pleading and begging to come home and promises that he won't be using substances because he is feeling so much better will start again. We gave in and let him come home the last time, and he went out and got plowed the very next day!

    And talked to his psychiatrist from the university medical center who said most likely that the psychiatric medications are working now because he is off the substances. If only we could get this through to him...he has such poor insight.
  13. Daze - I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I do hope that once he is clean and on medications for a period of time that he will gain that much needed insight.

    I'm sending you hugs for strength and peace as you go through this time and positive thoughts and prayers that your difficult child will find the insight he needs, stay in rehab and start making good choices for himself.
  14. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    (((huggs))) Another parent here that knows just how hard and stressful it is. Mine seems determined to be a dependent, irresponsible adolescent for the rest of his life.

    I never in a million years thought I would still be going through this at his (and mine) age. Detach as much as you can and find something you enjoy to help you to relax.

    My difficult child has taught me the meaning of unconditional love!!

    As I read, and watch programs on TV, we have some serious issues with this generation's drug use and irresponsible behavior. The entitlement issue is everywhere.
  15. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Exactly, Tired. Never thought i'd be going through it either. He does have a sense of entitlement, even though we tried hard not to spoil our kids when we were raising them. I guess the mental illness combined with the substance abuse, both which I guess are genetic propensities, caused him not to respond to our efforts.

    We are trying to get out every weekend and be with family and friends. It helps a lot.
  16. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Just came back from the hospital. The same old bs; he's done with that stuff, doesn't need to go to rehab, feeling much better, he was self medicating but now the zoloft is working, give him a chance to prove himself, take him back, doesn't need to go to rehab, please don't send him away, it's a waste of time, he's never going to stop his medications again, etc, etc. Blah blah blah...

    We've heard it all before, everyone, isn't that right?
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    So so sorry......
  18. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    IAD, you're changing that old, tired definition of insanity, "doing the same thing and expecting different results." You are NOT doing the same thing, the results will be different as well. You're doing a really good job, hang in there, we know how very hard this is. (((HUGS))))
  19. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    I can only hope the results will be different, RE! Hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
  20. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I turned 60 in November and when I was growing up it wasn't cool to do drugs. We had a conversation at work years ago and I said there were no drugs in our small town, I was told that was because I didn't do them, so I wasn't aware of them.

    That maybe true, but as I watch TV where a police officer knows pot is smoked regularly in the home and everyone stays drunk (including the school teacher), watched a movie where the good guy cop uses drugs recreationally, our media is glorifying drug use. It doesn't appear to be a big deal now, they write it as comedy when everyone is high.

    Two guys were smoking pot at noon time in front of the grocery store I was hopping at. Prescription medications are a huge problem here, so is meth. News reports of meth labs being busted where the meth is made in 2 liter coke bottles.

    I have no idea what, but something needs to be changed, what they are doing now for the 'war on drugs' isn't working. Anyone thinking the drug and alcohol users made a great comedy skit doesn't have one they care about using them.