difficult child is 13!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    And I am handling the day ok. The week was really hard, I just had a hard time with this birthday. Then the kids all cancelling. But today..I am doing just fine.
    All our plans for everything fell through, but difficult child is ok with it today. Feeling special today. I put his name in the paper, and it is on the front page.

    Hope everyone has a great day, and survives the storms.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    :dance: :dance: :dance:

    Happy birthday to him

    Happy birthday to him

    Happy birthday dear A***

    Happy birthday...to...HIMMMMMMMM!!!!!

  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :bravo: :bravo: Happy Birthday to Teen-Age difficult child :bravo: :bravo:

    Glad he is happy and handling the well!

  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Happy birthday to difficult child! Finally a teen!

    Hold on mom - the teenager years are REALLY fun!

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Birthday difficult child!!!!!!!! :dance: :thumbsup:
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Happy birthday difficult child!! :bravo: :smile:

    Yeppers, now he's a teen. Sigh. And you're gonna wonder why on earth they called the two's terrible when the teen years make two year old seem like a snap. Enough to make you want him to actually BE two again. :rofl:

    Hope difficult child has a nice birthday.

  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Happy Birthday to difficult child!! How did you ever get them to put his name on the front page of the paper? That is the coolest!!
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Happy birthday to difficult child!

    I really wished we lived closer so our boys could visit. I know they would get on well, they are so similar.

    difficult child 3 will be 14 next month.

    Something I've tried, re social stuff - I limit any activity/outings to one, maybe two other kids and I hand-pick them from kids I've seen interact well with difficult child. I approach the parents on the QT myself, sounding them out about how the kid REALLY feels about spending time with difficult child 3. In most cases, these kids are four or five years younger than him, but very bright. Socially they are more similar and the bright younger kids often enjoy spending time with an older (also smart) kid. The younger kid appreciates being accepted by someone older, it helps them feel better about being bright and not fitting in so well with their peers.

    Once we've sounded them out, then I let difficult child 3 ask them if they want to come on a family outing with us. They can come with us in our car, or come with their parents in their own car, to meet at a museum, a playground (for picnic) or the beach. Separate cars mean they can always leave separately if they need to and ANY time spent together is a bonus.

    But keeping the numbers down has also worked well for us, because too many kids can leave difficult child excluded. We saw this with difficult child 1 when we had parties for his birthday - he would be sitting in a corner somewhere while all the other kids were outside playing.
    We've not ever had the usual birthday parties for difficult child 3. Sounds terrible, but it's partly due to his birthday landing right at the end of our summer holidays when it's been impossible to organise it, or recognising that if we tried to organise a party and invite his classmates, none of them would turn up (except for the free food). At his last birthday, we gave him the choice and took him to the local zoo. We had family visiting, so he had his young cousin to play with and to show around his favourite zoo. Other times it was a kid at school that he had been enemies with, but who had made friends when he realised that difficult child 3 was no threat to his position but was indeed someone else for him to take under his wing. We've gone separate directions to this boy, I wouldn't want to push it now, but for both of them their contact with each other, initially fiery, ended on some positive notes.

    We usually ask difficult child 3 what HE would like to visit on his birthday, and take him there with either just us, or one hand-picked friend/relative we think he will get on with. We have two main kids we call on for this, with another one (neighbour) who is a good kid but less reliably available because his parents often change their minds last minute about what they are doing. "Hey, the sun is out, we're not going to watch movies this afternoon after all, we're going to the beach." In this case they're not being mean, they are just changing their plans and not understanding that difficult child 3 doesn't cope with change too well (although thanks to them, he is learning!)

  9. ML

    ML Guest

    Happy Birthday! I'm so glad he felt special.Give him hugs from me! MicheleL