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difficult child is back
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 676477" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Ca Mom, I am so sorry for your continued struggles with all of this. Two d cds out of the house, baby with chicken pox is quite a combo. I feel your pain through this post, and know how hard it is. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.</p><p>You sound strong as well. If I am reading correctly, you have had both sons out of the house, and will not have them back home. This is huge, for all of you. It is uncomfortable, for me, a roller coaster of emotions similar to when my two were at home, but not as intense. My two have been out four months now, I wrote that last post, I think I was in a fog.....since September. But, unlike your situation, they<em> do not contact me. </em>This must be very wearing on you CaMom. Your post is strong, and you write beautifully of your two d cs and your determination.</p><p>I am glad you found solace in reading Feelings post, she has been through much, and still worries for her son, but, in another thread, she has posted that her son has gone to see a doctor, something she had tried to get him to do, but he refused at home. Even though our d cs may have mental challenges, they fare much better out of our homes. Maybe not at first, but they have to find their way.</p><p>Healthy communication rules would be good. Even if the language is cleaned up, the constant asking to come home is hard on you. It is not fair to you.</p><p></p><p>I think part of detachment means taking our lives back, in every aspect. Caught up in the whirlwind of our d cs drama, our brains were trained to constantly think, ruminate, and feel for them. When we have them leave, it takes some time to change that pattern. I look at it as emotionally detaching, not that I don't love my two, just not so tangled up in their lives and worry for them. If I start to overthink on them, I say a quick prayer, then..."They will be okay, they are out there, finding their way."</p><p>You wrote that you have reason to be scared of your middle son, are you safe enough, CaMom? I hope so, dear.</p><p>Please take care, make sure you are getting enough rest, and eating well. I hope you are able to have some time to relax.</p><p>My youngest girl had chicken pox at 5 months, poor dear, she was absolutely covered with them. I hope your baby is not too bad. That is tough when baby's are miserable. It was a 24/7 job to make sure mine did not scratch, even in her sleep....</p><p>Hang in there CaMom keep posting and let us know how you are doing. It helps to share and know we are not alone.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 676477, member: 19522"] Ca Mom, I am so sorry for your continued struggles with all of this. Two d cds out of the house, baby with chicken pox is quite a combo. I feel your pain through this post, and know how hard it is. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. You sound strong as well. If I am reading correctly, you have had both sons out of the house, and will not have them back home. This is huge, for all of you. It is uncomfortable, for me, a roller coaster of emotions similar to when my two were at home, but not as intense. My two have been out four months now, I wrote that last post, I think I was in a fog.....since September. But, unlike your situation, they[I] do not contact me. [/I]This must be very wearing on you CaMom. Your post is strong, and you write beautifully of your two d cs and your determination. I am glad you found solace in reading Feelings post, she has been through much, and still worries for her son, but, in another thread, she has posted that her son has gone to see a doctor, something she had tried to get him to do, but he refused at home. Even though our d cs may have mental challenges, they fare much better out of our homes. Maybe not at first, but they have to find their way. Healthy communication rules would be good. Even if the language is cleaned up, the constant asking to come home is hard on you. It is not fair to you. I think part of detachment means taking our lives back, in every aspect. Caught up in the whirlwind of our d cs drama, our brains were trained to constantly think, ruminate, and feel for them. When we have them leave, it takes some time to change that pattern. I look at it as emotionally detaching, not that I don't love my two, just not so tangled up in their lives and worry for them. If I start to overthink on them, I say a quick prayer, then..."They will be okay, they are out there, finding their way." You wrote that you have reason to be scared of your middle son, are you safe enough, CaMom? I hope so, dear. Please take care, make sure you are getting enough rest, and eating well. I hope you are able to have some time to relax. My youngest girl had chicken pox at 5 months, poor dear, she was absolutely covered with them. I hope your baby is not too bad. That is tough when baby's are miserable. It was a 24/7 job to make sure mine did not scratch, even in her sleep.... Hang in there CaMom keep posting and let us know how you are doing. It helps to share and know we are not alone. (((Hugs))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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