difficult child Is Better, But Still Loses His Temper Way Too Quickly.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Feb 22, 2013.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I know that a lot of difficult children blame everyone else for the things that they don't like, but I have to say that I am just sick of it!! Last night he comes out of the shower throwing his pajama top at me because it's too small and he can't get it on, and it's all my fault. How is this my fault? Because I feed him too well and he grew.

    He has an assignment for Italian that he has to do. He needs to take pictures of the places than he goes regularly. Well, difficult child is a homebody and doesn't go anywhere regularly, except school. The pictures have to put onto a flash drive and brought to school where they will write in Italian about what and where they are. At first he decided that I was going to have to take the pictures. Well, I didn't do that. Then he agreed that we would go and take them this afternoon. Then he came home from school and had a fit because he didn't want to go, it's "a stupid assignment" and I need to send an email to the teacher telling her that he won't be participating in the assignment. Well, that's to going to happen. So he's screaming at me that it's all my fault that he has to do the assignment, when all he wants is for his friend to come over so they can hang out for a while. Plus, he's supposed to have ten pictures and he only has seven on his list right now, so he sees no point in taking any of the pictures if he can't take them all.

    Calmly, (I'm getting better at not screaming at him when he's screaming at me, but really all I wanted to do was throttle him) I told him that if he calmed down, I would allow him to bring his camera with us when we go to the therapist appointment tomorrow morning, but he needed to think of three more places that he wants to take pictures of. He was happy with then. Then he wanted to know if his friend could come over. I told him that if he could remain calm and apologize for screaming at me I would allow his friend to come over for a little while.

    He said he was sorry and the friend just got here. Hopefully, we won't have anymore screaming.
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Girl you have the patience of Job! I would have canceled the friend and told him to walk around the neighborhood with the camera until he could cool down. LOL

    Sorry I am just a witch like that. :p
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I don't know if I made the right decision about the friend, but I think this was a case of difficult child screaming because I didn't have his favorite flavor is ice cream in the freezer when what he was really upset about was an upcoming test. I think he really wanted the friend to come over and that was what brought on the screaming. Know what I mean??
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    And I have noticed a pattern lately that he almost ALWAYS has meltdowns on Friday afternoons. I don't know why that is. Maybe because he held himself together (for the most part) all week and controlled himself in school and got through tests and homework and trying to behave at home. Fridays just alway seem to be the days that he loses it? I actually just called husband and asked him if he was still leaving work at 5 because someone was having his usual Friday problems and I really don't like to be home alone with him when I'm not sure if he will be able to hold it together.
  5. tammybackagain

    tammybackagain New Member

    have you thought about giving him a special pillow that on fridays when he gets done at school goes in room and screams out his fustrations into the pillow. get it all out? or tell him that all complaints can happen after husband gets home. Also I agree consequence of yelling at mom noone over. don't care if he said he was sorry. would have to do chores before friend came over. and things that would make my life easier since he was yelling at me... Dishes... collecting laundry... JMO
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Or... it's your fault because you are supposed to NOTICE that he is growing, and replace it with an identical item in the next size up, as he grows, so he doesn't even notice.
    (right. not likely)
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Develop a specific Friday-afternoon routine.
    And part of that is no homework discussions until... after supper? or something?
    Some sort of anti-frustration activity.
    A special snack to look forward to.
    This is a great "Basket B" type of situation.
    Brainstorm with him...
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Are you convinced he has the right diagnosis? He is acting extremely young for a thirteen year old, even a difficult child. Has he ever been neuropsychologist tested?
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I wanted to take him for a second opinion, but he's refusing to participate.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    As far as the photo assignment goes...I'm sure he is anticipating that "everyone" is going to have fun fulled photos and his will be mundane. I think from exprience with easy child's and difficult child's that demonstrating part of your home life is very stressful for difficult child's. They always picture the other kids will show clips of Disney World and huge parties etc. etc. It's hard to select something that you feel confident won't cause classmates to snicker. Poor difficult child kids. Hugs DDD
  11. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    From what I understand, the assignment was for pictures of places around town that you go to alot. The grocery store. The library. Church. School. Places like that.
  12. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    difficult child 1 sometimes has a hard time on Fridays because of the unknown of the weekend. Just little things, what are we going to eat, when are we going to eat, what exactly are his chores going to be (down to the smallest detail), what can he do when the chores are done, and all the variations and what ifs have to be considered, ect... Then he wants to argue about what is going to happen to try to get the most favorable to him scenario. All the unknowns just send him over the edge.
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD....you said something interesting. My kids always hated that dreaded "what did you do over the summer" thing. So many of the kids told of exciting vacations going away to either camps or theme parks or even staying with relatives for a month or so and my kids never did things like that. Their big excitement was maybe going deep sea fishing one day with their dad and the rest of the time they just fished local ponds with him and played outside all day. So what did they do all summer? Play!