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difficult child is homeless- what do I say to her
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 664920" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would do what is called "medium chill." Don't talk much or give her any fodder to manipulate you or abuse you. Think about this in advance.</p><p></p><p>From now on give her a time limit of say five minutes.</p><p></p><p>Mostly do the listening, even when being baited or trashed. Or you can say "when you can speak with respect, I will listen.</p><p></p><p>If you stay on and can do so without saying much use calm, almost bored medium chill responses that do not ask open ended questions. Here are some examples.</p><p></p><p>"No." This is a complete sentence with no explanation needed.</p><p>"I see."</p><p>"Hmmmm"</p><p>"Thats tough."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"You are smart and will figure it out." No suggestions.that gives them arguing props</p><p>"Ill think about it."</p><p>"I hear someone at the door. Love you. Bye."</p><p>"I see."</p><p>"Wow."</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>You get the point.</p><p>"Less is more" rules the day.</p><p>You've already learned money and help and lecturing don't work. So take care of yourself now.</p><p>Hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 664920, member: 1550"] I would do what is called "medium chill." Don't talk much or give her any fodder to manipulate you or abuse you. Think about this in advance. From now on give her a time limit of say five minutes. Mostly do the listening, even when being baited or trashed. Or you can say "when you can speak with respect, I will listen. If you stay on and can do so without saying much use calm, almost bored medium chill responses that do not ask open ended questions. Here are some examples. "No." This is a complete sentence with no explanation needed. "I see." "Hmmmm" "Thats tough." "Oh." "You are smart and will figure it out." No suggestions.that gives them arguing props "Ill think about it." "I hear someone at the door. Love you. Bye." "I see." "Wow." "I don't know." You get the point. "Less is more" rules the day. You've already learned money and help and lecturing don't work. So take care of yourself now. Hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is homeless- what do I say to her
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