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difficult child is homeless- what do I say to her
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 664924" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi DNB and welcome to the forum. My son was homeless multiple times for long periods of time (weeks and months) so I do understand. A few things it helped me to remember: it's summer right now and the weather isn't a factor; there are many many services for homeless people and I would think Oregon is at the top of that list. There is food, clothing, computer use, medical and dental care, even for free eyeglasses. There are washers and dryers and free bus passes. There are social workers for counseling and employment. There are free cell phones provided by the government. Frankly, there are almost too many services in my opinion which results in people staying homeless longer. One time I counted the number of free meals---cooked meals---my homeless son could obtain on a weekly basis. It was three meals a day on weekdays and two meals a day on the weekends. </p><p></p><p>All of that helped me learn to let go more and more while he was homeless.</p><p></p><p>I imagine you still want to hear your daughters voice every day right now. But as you work on yourself and on letting go more and more, start thinking about skipping a day---perhaps talking to her every other day. If and when you think that might help YOU. At some point, when we are ready, we start to consider our own needs more and more and realize that their lives are outside our ability to control, manage or fix. </p><p></p><p>We can't make them do right as much as we want to. And we want to so much.</p><p></p><p>If they are to have a chance to change----we have to change the dynamic. We have to do one thing different which leads to something new happening, then another something new and so on. </p><p></p><p>One thing that really helped me a lot has been Alanon. It has saved me and given me the support I needed so desperately to learn to let go of my son and start to live a better life for myself regardless of what he does or does not do. </p><p></p><p>We are glad you have found us. We are here for you and we want the very best for you and your daughter. Keep posting here. We get it and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 664924, member: 17542"] Hi DNB and welcome to the forum. My son was homeless multiple times for long periods of time (weeks and months) so I do understand. A few things it helped me to remember: it's summer right now and the weather isn't a factor; there are many many services for homeless people and I would think Oregon is at the top of that list. There is food, clothing, computer use, medical and dental care, even for free eyeglasses. There are washers and dryers and free bus passes. There are social workers for counseling and employment. There are free cell phones provided by the government. Frankly, there are almost too many services in my opinion which results in people staying homeless longer. One time I counted the number of free meals---cooked meals---my homeless son could obtain on a weekly basis. It was three meals a day on weekdays and two meals a day on the weekends. All of that helped me learn to let go more and more while he was homeless. I imagine you still want to hear your daughters voice every day right now. But as you work on yourself and on letting go more and more, start thinking about skipping a day---perhaps talking to her every other day. If and when you think that might help YOU. At some point, when we are ready, we start to consider our own needs more and more and realize that their lives are outside our ability to control, manage or fix. We can't make them do right as much as we want to. And we want to so much. If they are to have a chance to change----we have to change the dynamic. We have to do one thing different which leads to something new happening, then another something new and so on. One thing that really helped me a lot has been Alanon. It has saved me and given me the support I needed so desperately to learn to let go of my son and start to live a better life for myself regardless of what he does or does not do. We are glad you have found us. We are here for you and we want the very best for you and your daughter. Keep posting here. We get it and we care. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is homeless- what do I say to her
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