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General Parenting
difficult child is now in protective custody
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 34177" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>RM, I know you paint. Are you able to begin a painting to help you express some of what this feels like?</p><p></p><p>Or has the surgery made even that impossible?</p><p></p><p>The Serenity Prayer is good. There was a time when I was fixated on the horrible things that might be happening to our difficult child. I found it necessary not only to stop the thought or the imagery once I realized I was thinking like that again, but to replace it with positive imagery. I knew the positive imagery was probably not true ~ but I was powerless to change whatever the situation was for my son and when I kept replacing those negative images with positive ones, IT WORKED. Although I still knew what the situation was really, I FELT stronger.</p><p></p><p>When we are powerless to change anything, our job is to make ourselves strong enough to survive it.</p><p></p><p>I was worried about starvation, so I created imagery of my son's face over a bowl of steaming pasta.</p><p></p><p>I was worried sick about him being beaten. The counterimagery there was of him happy and strong and walking in the sunshine without a care in the world.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying that we should pretend these things are true, or that we should make any judgment about them at all. This imagery was a tool of survival for me.</p><p></p><p>Because sometimes, it literally does feel like we are not going to make it.</p><p></p><p>Sending you strength and faith, RM.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry, so sorry, this is happening ~ to you, or to any of us.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 34177, member: 3353"] RM, I know you paint. Are you able to begin a painting to help you express some of what this feels like? Or has the surgery made even that impossible? The Serenity Prayer is good. There was a time when I was fixated on the horrible things that might be happening to our difficult child. I found it necessary not only to stop the thought or the imagery once I realized I was thinking like that again, but to replace it with positive imagery. I knew the positive imagery was probably not true ~ but I was powerless to change whatever the situation was for my son and when I kept replacing those negative images with positive ones, IT WORKED. Although I still knew what the situation was really, I FELT stronger. When we are powerless to change anything, our job is to make ourselves strong enough to survive it. I was worried about starvation, so I created imagery of my son's face over a bowl of steaming pasta. I was worried sick about him being beaten. The counterimagery there was of him happy and strong and walking in the sunshine without a care in the world. I am not saying that we should pretend these things are true, or that we should make any judgment about them at all. This imagery was a tool of survival for me. Because sometimes, it literally does feel like we are not going to make it. Sending you strength and faith, RM. I am sorry, so sorry, this is happening ~ to you, or to any of us. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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