What medications did you try for him? We've had mixed success with various medications and it's not just a familial thing. difficult child 1 was fine on medications that difficult child 3 can't tolerate. And vice versa. Strattera triggered violence in difficult child 3. Lack of medications triggered violence in difficult child 1. He also got bad rebound on ritalin, although he was OK when he first started on it. However years later we saw more and more rebound in him.
ADHD medications have helped all three of our autistic/Aspie/Aspie-lite kids. But it only helps part of it. It really is mixed, some kids with autism can be at least partly helped with medications, but other kids can't be. We've been told different things, but one thing that seems to make sense - ADHD is considered to be part of the autism spectrum, up one end. It's possible for kids to have both and to at least (hopefully) treat that part. Also, kids with autism often get serious anxiety issues and they can be treated with medications in some cases (not difficult child 3). difficult child 1's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is being treated with antidepressants. difficult child 3 can't tolerate them.
We do what we can. Can't do any better than that.
Your kids are entitled to support and your two medical specialists should trump a mere school psychologist. I'm in agreement with the others - if the school is refusing help and ignoring your expert reports, then go over their heads. Keep going higher over heads until you get someone who will hear you. By rights, you should go over heads so often that they get athlete's scalp.
There are a number of techniques you can use, but they boil down to "the squeaky wheel gets the most oil."
Suggested techniques to get attention -
1) The official letter. Often sent registered mail. An option (varies with area as to whether this is recognised) is to hand-deliver the letter but require its delivery to be receipted. Take two copies, get both signed by you and by person acknowledging receipt, you give one copy to the school and keep the other. Keep the official letter short and to the point and have it say something like, "I am putting you on notice on this date that I require an IEP for my child to deal with diagnosis X as made by Dr Y, letter attached. According to the law this requires your action by such-and-such date. I await your response."
2) The "athlete's scalp" method. This is best when the matter is urgent. You begin to make phone calls over people's heads. You begin with the school and work upwards from there. You leave the message, "This must be implemented as a matter of urgency. Because this is urgent I will keep calling the next person up the chain until I get to speak to someone in person who is able to help me. The sooner you get back to me to help me, the sooner I will be able to stop making phone calls."
3) The "dripping water wears away a stone" method. You turn up wherever you want to speak to someone you've been told is THE person to help. You have to have tried repeatedly before. You take a thermos, a blanket, your knitting, a good book. You make it clear that you will wait patiently until this person can make time for you. Nothing you have to do is more important than this.
Whichever method you try, you need to be prepared to follow through. Foe example, if the response to a request for IEP comes back with, "We've already assessed your child and the school psychologist has deemed him/her to not need services," you have to not accept this but to find out what your rights of appeal are. The first point of action is to ask for the school psychologist's qualifications and publicly put them side by side with whoever diagnosed your child. Put this on the table in front of the principal (or the district education person responsible for disability support) and ask them to please explain how someone with less qualifications can over-rule your specialists. Take good notes. Then take those notes to someone MUCH higher up and ask them just how widely such attitudes are allowed to proliferate. Ask them if their child has ever had their tonsils out of their appendix out, and when their child was diagnosed, did they get a second opinion from the doctor's receptionist? Or their neighbour? Would they have let their neighbour perform the surgery? Or perhaps let the neighbour convince them that surgery to remove an inflamed appendix on the point of bursting wasn't necessary and to just tell the kid to stop making a fuss? Because what is happening here, is the same sort of thing.
The final action to take, and again don't do this unless you're prepared for the consequences of people taking an interest - go to the media with what you have found. For example, the media would LOVE to go in with jackboots to ask, "Tell me, is it true that your school psychologist is able to ignore the diagnosis made by more qualified medical personnel?"
YOu need to recognise that the media don't do this out of altruism, they just want a good story. But along the way, a good story can get your child (and other children who are also missing out because of the same attitude) the services they're entitled to.
I suggest you go 'talk' to the mob over on Special Education forum, they can give you more specific support on what you can do in your area. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, but choosing not to do something is also an action, and like all actions needs to be made in full knowledge of your rights and responsibilities.
Go get 'em, Warrior Mum!
Marg
