difficult child just called

buddy

New Member
How is difficult child doing otherwise? Is this place very different from what he was used to? Does he have hope? I just feel so much for you guys.
 

klmno

Active Member
He has hope now that I told him we're moving- and that's the jurisdiction I'm moving to. He's behaving there- and he says the food is better but they get strip-searched about 3xperday instead of only after a visitor comes once a wk so he doesn't like that and I don't blame him.

On a brighter note, half the stuff in this townhouse I rented doesn't work very well so I'm not minding the idea of moving. If you recall, I had a couple of other places I was really tempted to rent instead of this one but didn't. One of those complexes currently has a condo for rent but I can't contact them until tomorrow because it's a realt co managing it.
 
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DDD

Well-Known Member
Blank it! I responded with alot of thought and briefly but the computer shut down and lost it. Geez, I hate that!

So now, lol, I'll make it even briefer and hope it flies. In a nutshell I'm hoping the lady is a sharp cookie tomorrow. I'm glad that difficult child knows a kid in similar circumstances. I wonder if that kid is at the same facility if that indicates that difficult child would remain in the same placement. ?? Then lastly I can't believe the 3xday strip searches. Good Grief. I know that there are ss's when contact is made with outsiders. I know under certain circumstances there are random searches but I can't grasp the concept of invading juvies three times a day when they don't even do that in prisons or adult jails. YUK! I abhor the system.

Good luck tomorrow. DDD
 

klmno

Active Member
They strip search them every time a kid is ready to go to his room which averages 3 x per day because they go in after school and during shift change, then at night. And this is supposed to be a less restrictive place. It probably would be if they had a separate section for boys in reentry and actually had a "real" reentry program going so they could keep them a little segregated and make it less restrictive but they don't even have this officially running right now- which is why I'm saying the fed gov who's paying them money to have a reentry program might be interested in taking a look at all this. Where is that money going? The money isn't suppposed to be spent to house the kid in a detention center alone- I looked it up- they had to prove they had a planned program ready to qualify for the money and they've been getting this money over a year. And state law requires any time a kid is entered into either a facility or a planned program for structured behavior changes, they are to provide the kid and the parent written criteria for release and progress thru it and a projected release date.

The lady didn't sound like an air-head salesman like the reentry lady always came across to me. And this is at least a licensed counselor, although the provider would be an intern. Yes, difficult child would remain in this detention center, on the reentry program because state Department of Juvenile Justice sent him there. The only change is the PO and then he has to write the plan over to reflect a new csu jurisdiction but can choose to copy it identically on that jurisdictional's form, re-write part or all of it. Of course my first mtg with that PO will be me walking in saying "TG I got you now what do I need to do to expedite the process for you and my son". When I called that csu to verify that if I moved from this jurisdiction to that one, would this csu be required to transfer the file whether they wanted to or not and she said yes, I excalimed "TG!" and she busted out laughing. I seriously doubt I am the first one they've heard complain about this jurisdiction. See, not a big geographiocal change- only enough to change PO. No job change or change in difficult child's status, which is why I want to hurry and do this.

But difficult child brought up a good question today- if this family therapy, which is supposed to be the intensive in-home type, requires all those mtgs per week and they each last over an hour, how the heck do they plan to make this work when he's in a detention center? Do they think I'm driving a min of 40 mins ea way 3x per week after work to meet for 2 hours then drive back home? See-- they have NO type of service established for reentry so PO is ordering all this type of services that are meant to prevent a kid from getting committed.

The other kid in there on reentry- he gets an individual counselor twice per week and one family session once per week. Yep, that one makes sense. And he's already getting a day pass and preparing to reunite with his family. The difference is the PO.

Remember- we were told this was a min 30 day program and the purpose was to step difficult child to reunify (but it wasn't supposed to add on to difficult child's sentence). But PO has turned it into a 90 day program that isn't focusing on stepping down, like getting day passes- it's focusing on 8 pages of requirements we have to do for 90 days then he'll decide placement. PO lied about all this. But difficult child is in a reentry program and if I hurry and get this file transferred prior to that 90 days being up, it won't be this PO trying to get difficult child into a GH or halfway house.

I think it's very hard for difficult child to see that kid getting a day pass and moving right thru when his PO is holding him up and he knows it's his PO. PO knows he's lying- he told us both difficult child could be out in 30 days and told me if he switched to a different type service under this local funding, it wouldn't hold things up then went and told difficult child I held things up by refusing the other- I didn't refuse the other. We should be focusing on transitioning difficult child out- it's supposed to be working thru the stressors and such- not this koi.
 
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buddy

New Member
Praying this is the break you need...step one anyway. At this point, just something to move this along not keep adding nutso sh++ your life.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I have been reading and thinking of you but didn't really have much to add. I am glad you are moving because this PO seems to have a real problem and some cronies hwo ar willing to help him dow hat he wants.

I think that the move is a good idea and that many others have also had problems with that PO/area.

I hope that you can keep in close contact with difficult child so that you are on the same page. I hope that you can promise to keep difficult child "in the loop" and aware of everything you do/agree to/turn down and that difficult child can trust that you iwll do what you say and that he can focus on trusting you rather than believing anything the PO tells him about you. Until the move, just tread water with the PO and put your energy into moving and communicating clearly with difficult child. That communication and trust will be crucial to keep difficult child on the right path and to keep the PO from being able to triangulate you. I wonder if we have this PO's parents as Warrior Parents from times gone by because he sure as sugar is a major difficult child, in my opinion.

As usual, you are doing a great job dealing with a rigged deck on a card game where everyone can see all your cards and you can't see any of the cards. Just try to get through until you can get difficult child home because that is what is important!

(((((hugs)))))
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
LOL, since I'm invested in your difficult child I should have asked you what time the appointment was scheduled for today. I'm getting carpal tunnel checking to see if there is an update. :) DDD
 
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