difficult child just got kicked out of school permanently

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
P.S. Our talk therapist was very sweet and called me back today. (Actually, his wife is his receptionist and she was aghast when I told her what happened.) He gave me the name of a lawyer who specializes in educational law ... just in case. I can see that others have had similar issues b4, especially in regard to tuition refunds.

Also, he suggested that we do not just put difficult child into his new school Mon. He suggested: Monday = tour. Tues.= 1/2 day. Wednesday = full day.
I really like that idea. That would also give me more time to get the health records, etc., and get to know the classes and teachers for myself.

Maybe it's because I slept for a cpl hrs this afternoon, but I am getting kind of excited about this.
 

klmno

Active Member
That enrollment schedule sounds good and the sd might need that anyway in order to have time to assign classes and so forth. So maybe the half day is in the afternoon.

As far as frustrations over them not understanding his issues and expecting him to be a easy child- you might very well find that in public schhool, too, especially in Virginia. However, you have more say-so and foot hold in an IEP meeting than you would in a private sd, I feel certain.

PS- I think you need to start letting an attny look over any contract before you sign it in the future. LOL! Keep the Special Education attny's contact info just in case. Don't sign any IEP without taking the draft home first and looking it over a day or two, no matter what they tell you.

I contacted PEATC in northern Va once and they were pretty informative, but again, I don't know how that plays into things with a private sd. The main thing to me would be that if my child can't go to school there and it's only Sept., I darn well better not be expected to pay a year or even a semester of tuition.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
PS- I think you need to start letting an attny look over any contract before you sign it in the future. LOL! Keep the Special Education attny's contact info just in case.


I know, I know! My only saving grace (or saving face!) is that husband also signed the academic probation contract.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Terry,

I know this is probably NOT what you want to read right at this moment - because I have been there so many times in the past with Dude - however; keep these things in your mind regarding this change and it may help you as this process goes forward.

1.) This IS going to happen whether you like it or not. difficult child is done at this school. That's a solid.
2.) IF this school is willing to put NO more effort into working with him this early in the year? WHY would I want to put MY energy into keeping my child there in the first place? See #1.
3.) The most scary thing about any change is that we never know if it's going to be better or worse than where we were. ASSUME it will be better. See #2. Then think - The new school WILL work for my sons needs.
4.) Aspies DON'T transition well. See #1, See #2, See #3. Would it be better to let him stay and fail at a school where they aren't going to help him or talk to a new school about ideas regarding transitioning with fresh enjoyable people that want my son?

5.) Realize that you can't change anything by worrying and imagine your son in the new school in a month, it's wonderful, he's doing well, adapted, being helped and it's the best thing in the world for him and he's enjoying it so much more. Now think back to today? Ask yourself if all that worrying you did changed anything. That answer is no. #1 is fact, #2 is fact, #3 is a reality, #4 is a reality.

Hope this helps.
 

SRL

Active Member
While we can discuss the ludicrousness of a 2-day expulsion contract, their speed in pulling out the terms of the contract, their seemed desire to get difficult child out of there, etc., none of that is productive for difficult child. I believe you are doing the right thing by keeping him in all week. I never felt this school was equipped to deal with difficult child - but that was, and is, my opinion. Now you just need to enroll him in his local school and start over (which I imagine you did earlier today). His IEP will roll with him, but a meeting this week with the Special Education director of his new school is in big time order. That IEP will have to be tweaked. This should be a called emergency IEP meeting. Get all that handled before end of the day Friday, if possible. If you can put everything else on the back burner for now, it would be helpful.

Since this is a situation where (I believe) he's in a parentally placed private school I don't think the IEP automatically rolls. If it was written in conjunction with public school/county staff and together as an IEP team they'd agreed on this private placement, then it would have legal weight and the IEP would transfer. The law makes clear that IEP transfer is between one public agency to another (see below).

The private schools here typically use an alternative term when they write up an "IEP". The deal is that they may be willing to write one and follow it, but they aren't legally required to do so under IDEA. I went to a meeting with a parent at a private school that had school staff present and while the school district participated in the evaluation and recommendation stage, the parent didn't accept the services offered by the public school (they were non-classroom based, more along the lines of mental health counseling and classes) but an "IEP" was written by the school staff to provide support at school. Thus what they wound up with wasn't a document that would bind them to following IDEA guidelines, even though they might choose to do so.

Terry, if the public school hasn't been involved in his case at the private school, you do need to request an evaluation immediately. Call and talk to principal right away and then follow up with a certified letter so the legal timeline gets rolling. A reasonable principal is going to recognize that he needs support ASAP even if he doesn't have an IEP and the law is a little looser since NCLB and allows districts to do this even before an IEP is written.


http://idea.ed.gov/explore/view/p/,root,dynamic,TopicalBrief,10,

5. Set forth requirements for IEPs when children with disabilities transfer from one public agency to another.

If a child with a disability (who had an IEP that was in effect in a previous public agency in the same State) transfers to a new public agency in the same State, and enrolls in a new school within the same school year, the new public agency (in consultation with the parents) must provide a free appropriate public education (FAPE) to the child (including services comparable to those described in the child’s IEP from the previous public agency), until the new public agency either:
• Adopts the child’s IEP from the previous public agency; or
• Develops, adopts, and implements a new IEP that meets the applicable requirements in 34 CFR 300.320 through 300.324.
[34 CFR 300.323(e)] [20 U.S.C. 1414(d)(2)(C)(i)(I)]

If a child with a disability (who had an IEP that was in effect in a previous public agency in another State) transfers to a public agency in a new State, and enrolls in a new school within the same school year, the new public agency (in consultation with the parents) must provide the child with FAPE (including services comparable to those described in the child’s IEP from the previous public agency), until the new public agency:
• Conducts an evaluation pursuant to 34 CFR 300.304 through 300.306 (if determined to be necessary by the new public agency); and
• Develops, adopts, and implements a new IEP, if appropriate, that meets the applicable requirements in 34 CFR 300.320 through 300.324.
[34 CFR 300.323(f)] [20 U.S.C. 1414(d)(2)(C)(i)(II)]

To facilitate the transition for a child described in 34 CFR 300.323(e) and (f):
• The new public agency in which the child enrolls must take reasonable steps to promptly obtain the child’s records, including the IEP and supporting documents and any other records relating to the provision of special education or related services to the child, from the previous public agency in which the child was enrolled, pursuant to 34 CFR 99.31(a)(2) [Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act regulations regarding conditions under which prior consent is not required to disclose information]; and
• The previous public agency in which the child was enrolled must take reasonable steps to promptly respond to the request from the new public agency.
[34 CFR 300.323(g)] [20 U.S.C. 1414(d)(2)(C)(ii)]
 

Jena

New Member
hey

i think that's a great idea for new school also. slowly phase him in. i'm sorry this happened and too bad they didnt' just listen to you, the mom who knew. all too many times school admin think they know and they don't. you can't always accurately predict the future with-other ppl's children. you just cant

hope migraines gone. did you drink the apple cidar vinegar? sounds grose but works. it'll get rid of headache also. :)
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Thank you all.
I agree, he will be much better.
I was actually excited today, filling out paperwork and seeing that he can choose between Spanish, technology, or computers as an elective. Very similar to his private school but this time, he gets to choose.
They have definitely decided on a 504. Not so certain about an IEP.
I filled out release forms for his therapist and psychiatric ofc. I told them the more they put on the forms, the more svcs he will get. I know the teachers will say he's doing so well, they can't figure out why he needs any svcs it all. That will be the honeymoon phase. I will tell them he's only that good because they're such good teachers. :)
Not sure how to get him in for an IEP yet ... we're just trying to get him in, period.

by the way, I talked to a mom today in a local Aspie support group. Her son is a former student at difficult child's current school. She HATED it. Said they have no clue about Asperger's. He was picked on mercilessly (despite the fact that he's twice as tall as everyone else) and one day, he was beaten up and his face was bruised. The resource teacher and principal drew up a contract that said it was his fault and he was on probation. She hit the roof. We shared a lot of stories.
 
Last edited:

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
difficult child is officially enrolled in our neighborhood public middle school.

I am awaiting a phonecall on the 504 mtng.

I spoke with-the Special Education dir at the school admin bldg and she explained the different laws and how they work inside the school system. She said from my explanation, difficult child needs an immediate 504 b4 his feet even hit the ground, to make sure he's covered by the law. Since an IEP typically takes 60 days, it would be foolish to ask for that first, since he would then be covered by no accommodations until all the tests are done. IOW, she was helping me get him into the system with-some barriers removed and warning me that the rest would take patience. She was very friendly and gave me her card. She also told me it is going to take a while for him to adjust ... to the school, the classes, the noise, the amt of students. Gulp.

Still, I like that they will educate him, no matter what. He will not be asked to leave. Sigh.
 

SRL

Active Member
That's a good plan since you need to have something immediate. They can write the 504 without an evaluation, and it won't take a team to do it-even a guidance counselor can write it up. It doesn't have a lot of legal teeth but it will give the staff a heads up on him, and hopefully will contain some adaptations to help him.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Yes. The main thing is to have him sitting in the front of every classroom, and to separate him during test taking and give him more time on tests.
At least, for now. :)
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
I am so sorry all of this happened.
Did you have an advocate with you ever at the Private School?
If not I would look into bringing one now to the Public School- it sets a precedent that you really have needs and so does difficult child. That you do know your son and have someone who is willing to help all involved if needed.

We bring our therapist who has her PHD- she is on the board of an ADHD and Autism group here and knows her BiPolar (BP) stuff as well- she can talk circles around the District psychiatric any day!!!
But they all like her because of her demeanor.
She also quickly got us an IEP and got rid of the 504. She was great at helping me rewrite some of my goals as well.

I hope the Public School setting is better for him.
Maybe now you can SLEEP!
 
Last edited:

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Thank you!

No, I don't have an advocate. I do have a friend who is highly skilled in this but she lives over an hr away and I don't think it would work because she just ended up with-custody of her neice and nephew and has her hands full. :( She started her own advocacy company and couldn't follow through because of the neice and nephew.

Maybe I can tap into someone from the local Asperger's support group ... except none of them are from this city and the laws vary from school district to school district. Argh.

We'll get there. Frankly, with-or with-o the IEP, I think this will be easier for my son. It's a completely different atmosphere.
 

klmno

Active Member
Terry, I would recommend going for the IEP anyway and just using the 504 as an intermediate plan. The IEP gives him legal protection and assurance that the 504 does not- the sd will try to tell you he doesn't need it for this reason because it lets them off the hook legally should something come up like suspension, more accommodations needed, etc.

You can call PEATC in NoVa and they have a list of advocates in each area of the state- they will give you the name and contact info for whomever advocates for this type of disability in your area.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
I would recommend going for the IEP anyway and just using the 504 as an intermediate plan. Yes, I think this is what everyone is going for.Thank you for the N VA info.
 
Terry, I know you are in VA, I wanted to bring this to your attention,

I went to one in my town last spring and it was good, good, good. We had an excellent atty but I see Pete Wright himself is speaking at this one. The price included the two Advocacy books and a yummy boxed lunch. Met a ton of people and networked. You won't have to worry about an advocate after this. Just an FYI . . . . . from Jo . .. . . hope this isn't too much revelation about your whereabouts in this public place -- LMK and I will delete t.
 
Last edited:
Terry,

I'm getting here late but am glad he is now officially enrolled in your local public school! As others have said, I think the 504 is a good idea until you get an IEP in place. I also like the fact that your difficult child will transition in slowly - Tour the school Monday, partial day Tuesday, and the first full day on Wednesday.

Although this bites big time, I really think it's for the best. Like LDM said, you've been unhappy with the private school placement for a long time. I'm really glad you're now excited about the change in schools. I honestly believe it is a better option for your difficult child.

Sending many positive vibes your way that next week will go smoothly for your difficult child... Hugs to you and your difficult child... SFR
 

susiestar

Roll With It
It sounds really good so far. I hope that difficult child is able to fit in well and enjoy attending this school. The other school just did not seem like a good fit and they sure as sugar didn't have a clue about Aspies.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member

Breaking the news to difficult child last night went much better than I expected. He was a bit shocked and a bit defensive but not at all in denial. I think he's actually looking forward to his new school. husband thinks it will be a delayed reaction. We'll see.
I had him put his books in my car this morning, and he did, and there was no other reaction. He asked a couple of questions, asked my opinion about what I liked and didn't like about the school, complained that the religion teacher wasn't as objective about religion as she could be (she is a nun, after all) and I suspect he'll talk more as the days go on.
Over all, not as stressful as I anticipated.
Whew!
 
Top