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difficult child left after christmas breakfast
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<blockquote data-quote="muttmeister" data-source="post: 7949" data-attributes="member: 135"><p>Well, in my humble opinion the first thing you need to do is sit down with your husband and decide between yourselves, what do you WANT to do and what can you REALISTICALLY EXPECT to accomplish. Then go for it.</p><p>Maybe I give up too easily but after banging my head against the wall with two difficult children for 22 years now my patience is gone. It is doubtful that you are going to change him at this point. He has shown you that he does not respect your rules. Writing them down or saying you are going to impose new consequences and then not following through is not going to get results. Your choices, as I see them, are (1) continue as you are, or (2) tell him to find another place to live. Your rules are reasonable. He is choosing not to follow them: that is his business. He is 18. He is no longer your legal responsibility. Our kids are experts at knowing when they can play on our sympathies and I am as guilty as everybody else at letting them play me when I shouldn't. It is incredibly hard to make the choices we need to make to get our difficult children to be responsible for themselves but do you really want to be 90 years old with a 65 yo difficult child making you a prisoner in your own home? The sooner they find out we (and everybody else) are going to hold them responsible for their actions, the better off they will be.</p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="muttmeister, post: 7949, member: 135"] Well, in my humble opinion the first thing you need to do is sit down with your husband and decide between yourselves, what do you WANT to do and what can you REALISTICALLY EXPECT to accomplish. Then go for it. Maybe I give up too easily but after banging my head against the wall with two difficult children for 22 years now my patience is gone. It is doubtful that you are going to change him at this point. He has shown you that he does not respect your rules. Writing them down or saying you are going to impose new consequences and then not following through is not going to get results. Your choices, as I see them, are (1) continue as you are, or (2) tell him to find another place to live. Your rules are reasonable. He is choosing not to follow them: that is his business. He is 18. He is no longer your legal responsibility. Our kids are experts at knowing when they can play on our sympathies and I am as guilty as everybody else at letting them play me when I shouldn't. It is incredibly hard to make the choices we need to make to get our difficult children to be responsible for themselves but do you really want to be 90 years old with a 65 yo difficult child making you a prisoner in your own home? The sooner they find out we (and everybody else) are going to hold them responsible for their actions, the better off they will be. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child left after christmas breakfast
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