My difficult child 1 is going downhill fast. I dont know how much more I can take. Got a call from his principal on Friday saying he was out of control and being aggressive with staff. Get there and find him raging WAY beyond where hes ever taken it at school. When I finally get him home he continued ranting and raving at the school all night until he eventually end up crying to sleep. Started off really angry saying things like Im gonna kill that kid, I hate mr. d (his behavior aide) and hope he slams into a tree on his way home, theyre gonna regret this, etc to more and more scary things like Every time you look at me you wish I wasnt born, I should go live in the dump with the other trash so everyone can be happy, hopefully Ill just stop breathing in my sleep. All Saturday I watched him like a hawk but he still managed to instigate fights with just about everyone, cause a scene outside that had several of our new neighbors gawking and slam a door off its hinges. Saturday night he slept for maybe two hours and was a bear Sunday. A simple chore (bringing down his laundry) turned into a broadway production. He blamed me realized I wouldnt be his victim then blames easy child 1 and easy child 2. He put both their Nintendo ds in the washing machine and started it (still can't figure out when). Didnt sleep again last night and had to put motion sensors out again because we were afraid of what hed do. Called school and told them he had a dr appointment (psychiatrist). No matter what he did I couldnt get him to go so husband took an early lunch to stay with him and I went anyways (wed get charged no matter what). Spent the half hour in psychiatrists office in tears. She thinks I have ptsd from all difficult children drama. Left with a prescription of trazadone to help difficult child sleep and xanax for me. Im just at the end of my rope. All the other kids are getting neglected because Im constantly trying to do difficult child damage control. Id like to get difficult child admitted to psychiatric hospital for a medication wash but Im sure insurance will fight it. I really dont know what to do anymore. Just venting I guess. I do read on this site almost every day and find it comforting to know there are other parents out there that feel my pain.