difficult child on his first sleep over

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    ......in 3 or 4 years that is not with a family friend. He was so excited, it was really neat.

    I, shockingly enough, am not concerned. He has been on several play dates with this boy, and gone to church with the family and the mom even called him a good influence on her son! You could have knocked me over with a feather on that one.

    I am so glad he is making friends, and hope this positive trend continues. He has sure turned himself around. I think this new school and not having a bad reputation have done wonders for him.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's great! If you're referring to your 12yo this sounds similar to my son's experience in regards to friendships starting to be on a different level. IOW, when my son was younger than that friends seemed to be just other kids to play with. Once he reached that age range, he really started to talk about things with other kids and enjoy different types of things- it was good for him. Behavior in some areas improved, but in other areas ...well....now you need to watch for a new set of things. I hope he has fun though- it's part of growing up and becoming a tween!!
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    yep, this is the 12 yr old. I think before this year, he was too out of control. Kids did not want to be with him as his hyperactivity and impulsivity made him so annoying. I think maturity and the right medications have made a huge difference in him, as well as him not being at a school where if there was trouble within 10 feet of him it was his fault.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You know, another I noticed is that when natural consequences really seemed to work a lot and I didn't always have to be the bad guy. difficult child wanted to make umpteen phone calls to someone when he got a phone number from a kid at school- instead of mecontinuously fussing about it, 2 comments from other kids seemed to solve the problem. LOL! Their world changes at this age. I really hope this goes well for him...but he'll remember this sleep over and I am glad he had a good time. It's definitely a new phase. Also, many kids around this age talk more and find out that a lot of kids are on medications, their families aren't perfect, etc, so some things actually do get a little better.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's SO great to hear! I hope he has a wonderful time :) We moved difficult child 2 to a new school this year for similar reasons and it's made a big difference for him. No social outings yet outside of school, but he is well-known and well-liked this year, which is SUCH a change from elementary school! Better medication combo and change of scenery was also the trick for him, I think.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope he has a wonderful time!
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How fun for difficult child! I hope he has a great time and that there are many more to come!:)
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    That's great CM. I hope difficult child has a wonderful time.

    I agree that a change of school can make a huge difference. No one has any preconceived notions about you, and not only do you have a chance for a clean start but you can choose the sort of identity you want to have. If experience has shown that being the "bad kid" doesn't lead to good results, it's an opportunity to try being the good kid for a change, and a motivation to keep it that way.

  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    That's great!!!! When we see our difficult children work really hard to made definitive positive choices, it is a thing of joy! Going to middle school was my difficult children motivation. He didn't want anyone at his new school to know how he was before (those are his words). Not that these last three years have been perfect, but oh have they been better! Some of our difficult children definitely get better with age!!!!

    I hope your difficult child has a great sleepover - I totally understand your happiness.

  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    difficult child called a while ago, sounded really happy (and really hyper, poor other mother!) Asked if I could pick him up at 1pm. I said yes. It will be interesting to see how he is when he gets home, he has never done well with transitioning from one environment to another, so this could be interesting. I am not worrying about it, just wondering. Hope everyone is having a good Saturday.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad he had a good time! Another step on the road to independence!
  12. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    He had a great time. He went swimming for a while with J, and then difficult child called and wanted me to pick them up early as his stomach hurt and his eyes burned. Huh, guess you probably should not inhale pool water. I picked them up and took them to McDonalds for a snack. difficult child was great, the other mom called him an angel. I guess she was not too happy with her son, he got grounded from screen time, she said he was not treating difficult child the way she thought he should. difficult child does not seem upset about it, I suspect that difficult child got hyper before his patch was on and was being annoying. He can be so hyper, loud and impulsive. The boys seemed fine when I picked them up early from the pool, I asked J if he was ok leaving early and he said yes, he was trying to be a good friend to difficult child. I really do like J, he is a very nice and thoughtful boy.

    difficult child has been a little wound up, but I expected that. He is settling down some, and is tired.

    When J's mom picked him up yesterday difficult child was telling her as they walked to her car about his pills, and how many he takes and when. I had already talked to her so she knew, but I thought it was responsible that difficult child wanted to be sure she knew he had them in his back pack.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That's great! congrats!

    Don't be surprised if he has a bit of a meltdown at home; he's coming down from the "high" of being at his friend's house overnight for the 1st time, and probably sleep deprived, too.