difficult child picked adoptive parents

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by C.J., Mar 31, 2009.

  1. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    I haven't been on the board much these last ten days or so - since the bank I'm assigned to laid off 80% of the workforce over a week ago. I'm up to my eyeballs in alligators.

    Midwest Mom was right - there are people who will clearly walk through Hades to be able to become parents and raise a baby. N* and I met such a couple yesterday. N* was given the profiles of several people interested in adopting to review, and if she found one she really liked, she could meet them. (All were apprised prior to N*'s review of their profile just how difficult this adoption might be because of the number of Potential Sperm Donors "PSD").

    N* reviewed the profiles first - kept her selection to herself, and then I went through them. We both picked the same couple. We repeated the process with N*'s older brother and his wife - they picked the same couple.

    The social worker contacted them, and we met yesterday. They were even better in person. Before the hour appointment was up, N* invited both of them to attend her next ob/gyn appointment, and assured them she wanted them to be the parents, and while she knew she would be emotional after delivery, she wanted them to know she was going through with the adoption. WOW! She has even backed off on her earlier demands that she name the baby. I had tears in my eyes watching my difficult child show more maturity than I could ever dream was possible. The couple were both teary eyed by then.

    Good news today - the one PSD who said he would contest the adoption sent N* a text today and told her he if he were the "birth father" he would sign away his paternal rights. WooHoo!!!

    N* has finally come around to realizing she (nor any of the PSDs) are in a position right now to properly care for a baby - and she is truly thinking about what is best for the baby, not herself, not the PSDs, not me, not the other grandparents - just the baby.

    I'll make some time to catch up with the board happenings while I've been away.

    Good wishes and prayers to all of you in your current situations.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    CJ, I'm so glad for you, the baby and for your difficult child. What a wonderful gift she gave her unborn child.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed that all goes well. It really sounds promising. Hugs. DDD
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Well, that's a relief. I'm so glad she clicked with this couple. I am proud that she is recognizing the futility of trying to live a dream that would quickly turn into a nightmare. Being a parent is difficult enough if all the pieces are in place-----What a wonderful mature decisions.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    CJ, it's quite wonderful. I'm proud of her...and delighted for the couple she chose.

  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    What a completely unselfish act of love. I'm amazed. As an adoptee - you can tell her from me - I wondered what goes through the mind of the birthmom - now I know. Just love.

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am glad that things are beginning to work out. I realize that this is going to be hard for your daughter and you. She is very lucky to have you at her side supporting her through all this. -RM
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    Bless her heart. This is truly an act of unconditional love.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Wow... this really touches my heart for everyone.
  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Wow, C.J.
    A mother's love really is a wonderful thing. I'm so glad to hear that N AND all the PSDs are putting the baby's needs above everyone else's.

    Also, glad that you're all unanimous that the couple she chose are the right parents. That's a good sign too.

    Very happy news.

  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I cannot believe how much this affected me. I began tearing up as I read through your post. What a mature, unselfish act on your daughter's part. Wow for her. And how wonderfully fortunate she is to have you by her side through all of this. I'm so happy for all of you, especially the baby. ♥
  12. compassion

    compassion Member

    I am so happyfor all of you! I have beenliving open adopiton for over 18 years now. We usalyy see my son (now 18) birthmom and 3 full birth brothrs once a year. We will not this yrar but we are in contact via mail. I send updates to difficult child's birthmom. Both my children came to her as infants. I am gratful . Adoption is a spiecal gift. I also did not live with my birth son form age 7 on so I ahve a lto fo compssion for all membersof the adotpion triad. Compassion
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    This seems to have become a growing process for difficult child.

    Touches my heart that she took great care in her choice. It is wonderful she is able to think of the baby and put it's needs/wants above her own.