difficult child Say He's Not Going To psychiatrist Appointment

[Bunny]

This is the first appointment with the psychiatrist since he went to the psyche ER back in March. He's knows for a week that the appointment was today and he seemed pretty calm about it. Then when he got up this morning to take his medications he started. Said he wasn't going and I couldn't make him. The only reason he has the appointment now instead of in May (which is only a few days away, anyway) is because of what he did and he doesn't think that's a good enough reason to have a to go to the psychiatrist. I remained calm, but firm and told him he had to go and that if he was going to argue about it he could argue about it with his father, which he chose to do. husband told him the same thing that I did. difficult child kept saying that it should have been kept private and I told him that he lost all rights to privacy the minute he picked up that knife.

Then husband told difficult child that if need be, he would come home from work and go to the appointment with us to make sure that he behaves.

difficult child left for school and was still angry that we are making him go. I told husband that I would call him at work when difficult child gets home from school and he would decide at that point of he needs to leave to come home or not.

Should be an interest g afternoon.

 

[IT1967]

I hope it goes okay for you. Both my kids hate going to the psychiatrist. I suspect there's some sort of feeling of inadequacy and the appts. sort of put it front and center. That's my thinking at least with-my kids.

 

[TerryJ2]

You know, my difficult child always does this. I have learned to just listen and say, "I hear you," and then go on about my business. I give myself extra time in case difficult child really does put up a fuss when it's time to go, but mostly, he does go. It's that he wants to argue about everything. And he has to express everything. I am amazed now, the times I argued and it escalated, when I could have just let it go until the actual moment when he had to get in the car. Good luck.

 

[Bunny]

Usually he's alright about going, but he is angry because the psychiatrist knows that he picked up a knife and threatened to kill himself if I didn't do what he wanted. He feels that no one should have been told about it and I had no right to tell. He doesn't want to talk about it (of course he doesn't! He never wants to talk about the really bad things he does because then he might actually have to take ownership of his behaviors) and he says that making him go to the appointment will only make him do that.

When he started arguing with husband this morning, I have to say that husband did well. He told difficult child that he was going to say this one time and then difficult child was going to leave our bedroom: difficult child was going to the appointment and if husband had to come home and come with me to make sure that he went with no problems, then that was what was going to happen.

After that difficult child said nothing more about it. He actually refused to speak to me for the rest of the morning until he left for school. Like that was a huge hardship for me!

i actually did call the psychiatrist and left him a message telling him that difficult child is very agitated about the appointment, but that we would be there. I just wanted to give him a heads up about it.

 

[buddy]

Well, at least husband stood up for you, he better follow through!

Can you have an agreement that the knife incident not be discussed unless difficult child brings it up for at least four appointments?

After all, it is not the cause of the issues. Just a thought.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Buddy... where's that <LIKE> button!
Brilliant idea.

The issue needs to be dealt with, but... right now it's more important to establish a working relationship.

 

[Bunny]

I know he has not brought it up with the new therapist, and I know that he won't. He does not want it discussed. Period. End of story. To him, it's ancient history.

Usually when we go see the psychiatrist he takes me into his office first to talk about what's going on and how difficult child is doing. I told difficult child that I would tell the psychiatrist that he doesn't want to talk about it, but that it's up to the psychiatrist whether or not it gets brought up. When I left the message for the psychiatrist I told him why difficult child was so agitated. Hopefully, he will call me back before we leave to go there.

 

[TerryJ2]

Bunny, that sounds SO familiar! We have NO right to tell anyone. What were we thinking?HAAAAA

 

[buddy]

Did he go?

 

[Bunny]

Yes, he did, and the psychiatrist brought up the knife and the psyche ER episode. difficult child was calm, so I guess it didn't hurt too badly!