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difficult child sent me an email....
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 76508" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>You know......again just thoughts.....but my son does this to me constantly - and therefore I have been thinking about it a lot. So, my thought is, and maybe it applies to your situation as well, that I am actually too close to my son. The boundaries are a bit blurred, there is some enablement going on, and co-dependency - and so in his mind he is overly entitled to my attention. He would literally siphon every ounce of attention out of me if he could, and it still would not be enough. Your ice pack scenario reminded me of this because in his mind - I am the one who should fix everything - should drop everything for his cause - and he sees very little of what his responsibility could be in solving a solution.</p><p> </p><p>I could be wrong - but it does sound like your daughter is being a little co-dependent, for lack of a better word - and she needs to reach inside herself to find the peace she is looking for, rather than depend on you. But, if this is the case, then you will really have to first detach yourself from always feeling guilty or responsible for her well being and know that you are a wonderful mom. Perhaps the best gift of "caring" you can give her - is perhaps "caring" a little bit less - and allowing her to find her own sense of personal nurturing.</p><p> </p><p>You have a had a rough, icky week. I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way. You truly are a warrior Mom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 76508, member: 3301"] You know......again just thoughts.....but my son does this to me constantly - and therefore I have been thinking about it a lot. So, my thought is, and maybe it applies to your situation as well, that I am actually too close to my son. The boundaries are a bit blurred, there is some enablement going on, and co-dependency - and so in his mind he is overly entitled to my attention. He would literally siphon every ounce of attention out of me if he could, and it still would not be enough. Your ice pack scenario reminded me of this because in his mind - I am the one who should fix everything - should drop everything for his cause - and he sees very little of what his responsibility could be in solving a solution. I could be wrong - but it does sound like your daughter is being a little co-dependent, for lack of a better word - and she needs to reach inside herself to find the peace she is looking for, rather than depend on you. But, if this is the case, then you will really have to first detach yourself from always feeling guilty or responsible for her well being and know that you are a wonderful mom. Perhaps the best gift of "caring" you can give her - is perhaps "caring" a little bit less - and allowing her to find her own sense of personal nurturing. You have a had a rough, icky week. I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way. You truly are a warrior Mom. [/QUOTE]
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