Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child sent me an email....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 77005"><p>Thank you for the responses.</p><p></p><p>MWM - She might be projecting some...I hadn't really thought of that. </p><p></p><p>smallworld - You're right, her mood still is very depressive. However, I've always thought, and her psychiatrist and therapist agree, that her depression is secondary to the other things. That doesn't change the fact that it's there, but it does change how we treat it. We have done social skills therapy and have worked with social stories. I do know that her NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) things do kick in...that's what I called her skewed perception. She was 7 when easy child's depression hit and it did affect her greatly. We had made great strides with her and she regressed in a big, big way. While she's always been my challenging child, I've often referred to the last 5 years as fall-out from easy child's depression.</p><p></p><p>Fran - very good suggestions. I have in the past asked her questions similar to those, but it's always been in the heat of the moment and she's not able to answer or think rationally at all. I need to sit down with her during a calm time.</p><p></p><p>WW - You hit the nail on the head. She is extremely dependent on me. My favorite way of describing it is that she could tie her shoes at the babysitter's for a year before she could at home. I have told her in the past that only she can make herself happy; that no matter how much I want to do it for her I can't. I told her I can provide her the tools (therapy, medications, etc), but she has to do the work. </p><p></p><p>Jo - From the posts I've read, your daughter and my daughter have a lot of similarities. </p><p></p><p>Michele - Your post made me think. I, too, have known depression in my life, but when I think about how I felt while depressed to try to relate it to what difficult child is dealing with, I often think about my depression in adulthood. I need to think about how my depression in adolescence affected me. When I did that, I saw a lot of myself in difficult child and it really changes the way I need to respond to her. I have to apologize to my mom now. lol</p><p></p><p>Marg - I've explained many, many times to difficult child that I treat her and easy child equally, but not the same because they are different people with different needs and have explained those differences and have done much the same as you described with your daughter. I think part of understanding that is just maturity.</p><p></p><p>Beth - Great idea! I will contact our local humane society about volunteering as long as difficult child understands that we can't have any more pets. LOL Most of our pets have come from there. I'm just as much as a sucker as she is when it comes to animals. Your comment about the amount of love some have to give makes a lot of sense.</p><p></p><p>Nancy - It's hard to watch our kids do these things to themselves, isn't it? I find myself wishing for a magic pill.</p><p></p><p>Star - I have that book "The 5 Love Languages" for the same reason you read it...a friend suggested it. difficult child's language is definitely receiving gifts. I think about that often.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is a very intense person. She feels things - everything - very strongly. I remember when she was about 2 telling my mom that even if she were an only child, I were a stay at home mom and spent every second with her, it still wouldn't be enough. She has always needed so much. easy child has gotten the short end of the stick a lot because difficult child has always been so much more demanding and needy. </p><p></p><p>by the way, she sent this email because easy child and I had literally just sat down to watch a DVD when she came downstairs and said her internet wasn't working. I told her I would deal with it after the movie (which, by the way, she was more than welcome to watch with us). That was the extent of the conversation. After the movie, I got the internet back up and she then sent the email.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 77005"] Thank you for the responses. MWM - She might be projecting some...I hadn't really thought of that. smallworld - You're right, her mood still is very depressive. However, I've always thought, and her psychiatrist and therapist agree, that her depression is secondary to the other things. That doesn't change the fact that it's there, but it does change how we treat it. We have done social skills therapy and have worked with social stories. I do know that her NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) things do kick in...that's what I called her skewed perception. She was 7 when easy child's depression hit and it did affect her greatly. We had made great strides with her and she regressed in a big, big way. While she's always been my challenging child, I've often referred to the last 5 years as fall-out from easy child's depression. Fran - very good suggestions. I have in the past asked her questions similar to those, but it's always been in the heat of the moment and she's not able to answer or think rationally at all. I need to sit down with her during a calm time. WW - You hit the nail on the head. She is extremely dependent on me. My favorite way of describing it is that she could tie her shoes at the babysitter's for a year before she could at home. I have told her in the past that only she can make herself happy; that no matter how much I want to do it for her I can't. I told her I can provide her the tools (therapy, medications, etc), but she has to do the work. Jo - From the posts I've read, your daughter and my daughter have a lot of similarities. Michele - Your post made me think. I, too, have known depression in my life, but when I think about how I felt while depressed to try to relate it to what difficult child is dealing with, I often think about my depression in adulthood. I need to think about how my depression in adolescence affected me. When I did that, I saw a lot of myself in difficult child and it really changes the way I need to respond to her. I have to apologize to my mom now. lol Marg - I've explained many, many times to difficult child that I treat her and easy child equally, but not the same because they are different people with different needs and have explained those differences and have done much the same as you described with your daughter. I think part of understanding that is just maturity. Beth - Great idea! I will contact our local humane society about volunteering as long as difficult child understands that we can't have any more pets. LOL Most of our pets have come from there. I'm just as much as a sucker as she is when it comes to animals. Your comment about the amount of love some have to give makes a lot of sense. Nancy - It's hard to watch our kids do these things to themselves, isn't it? I find myself wishing for a magic pill. Star - I have that book "The 5 Love Languages" for the same reason you read it...a friend suggested it. difficult child's language is definitely receiving gifts. I think about that often. difficult child is a very intense person. She feels things - everything - very strongly. I remember when she was about 2 telling my mom that even if she were an only child, I were a stay at home mom and spent every second with her, it still wouldn't be enough. She has always needed so much. easy child has gotten the short end of the stick a lot because difficult child has always been so much more demanding and needy. by the way, she sent this email because easy child and I had literally just sat down to watch a DVD when she came downstairs and said her internet wasn't working. I told her I would deal with it after the movie (which, by the way, she was more than welcome to watch with us). That was the extent of the conversation. After the movie, I got the internet back up and she then sent the email. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child sent me an email....
Top