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difficult child started a job today
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 633069" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>COM, can you practice striving for that sense of balance you once described for me? Remember the cloud and the silver lining? There is no way for us to know what is coming next. There is not a way to call any of our small steps forward successes and yet, we are all progressing along the ways we hope to go. </p><p></p><p>You, me, our kids. </p><p></p><p>I too think you handled everything with grace and courage. You didn't turn away, you are doing battle with all the feelings that come after us when there is change, good or bad, in our children's chaotic lives. </p><p></p><p>For me, change upsets that fragile balance that gives me a place to stand up from. I begin to hope, or if the news is bad, to despair.</p><p></p><p>I remember your envisionment of holding both the cloud and the silver lining so often. </p><p></p><p>It helps me. </p><p></p><p>Now you have the silver lining first.</p><p></p><p>The cloud may come. Or it might turn out that this time was the cloud and something wonderfully unforeseen will come of it. </p><p></p><p>There is no way to know. </p><p></p><p>Loving our difficult child kids with all our hearts when we have any smallest reason to is the right thing for them and for us.</p><p></p><p>I am happy you got to love your son. </p><p></p><p>Having that chance to love him was worth needing to work to find your sense of balance again, I think.</p><p></p><p>We learn to do anger and boundary setting really well with our difficult child kids. Loving them within the boundaries we know we have to maintain is harder.</p><p></p><p>We don't get much practice in how to love them, and it's scary.</p><p></p><p>You will establish a different center of gravity now, COM. Flexibility is good. Next time, you will have the strength learned this time, and it will not feel like you have betrayed a hard won principle.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 633069, member: 17461"] COM, can you practice striving for that sense of balance you once described for me? Remember the cloud and the silver lining? There is no way for us to know what is coming next. There is not a way to call any of our small steps forward successes and yet, we are all progressing along the ways we hope to go. You, me, our kids. I too think you handled everything with grace and courage. You didn't turn away, you are doing battle with all the feelings that come after us when there is change, good or bad, in our children's chaotic lives. For me, change upsets that fragile balance that gives me a place to stand up from. I begin to hope, or if the news is bad, to despair. I remember your envisionment of holding both the cloud and the silver lining so often. It helps me. Now you have the silver lining first. The cloud may come. Or it might turn out that this time was the cloud and something wonderfully unforeseen will come of it. There is no way to know. Loving our difficult child kids with all our hearts when we have any smallest reason to is the right thing for them and for us. I am happy you got to love your son. Having that chance to love him was worth needing to work to find your sense of balance again, I think. We learn to do anger and boundary setting really well with our difficult child kids. Loving them within the boundaries we know we have to maintain is harder. We don't get much practice in how to love them, and it's scary. You will establish a different center of gravity now, COM. Flexibility is good. Next time, you will have the strength learned this time, and it will not feel like you have betrayed a hard won principle. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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