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Substance Abuse
difficult child Starting the Substance Abuse Path
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627783" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You can take very good care of yourself, in spite of his troubles.</p><p></p><p>You can't change him on wit so angsting over him is a waste of time. It will not help him at all. If he also has antisocial personality disorder, he will use you if he can and it is even more of a reason for you to focus on your own life.</p><p></p><p>Narc-Anon, in my opinion, is a great support system. If you don't like twelve step, you can also go to a private therapist. You need face time support through this difficult, heartbreaking time and sometimes family and friends who know you well can want to help, but have no understanding of your situation and only make you (and all of us) feel worse.</p><p></p><p>Of course you have us. We are on call, 24/7, 65 days a year.</p><p></p><p>Do something nice for YOU today. It is up to JT to change his path. From what I've read, and I'm not a doctor either here or on TV!!!, it is unlikely somebody who has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) will try to change, but never give up hope. Still...it would be great for you if you could go on with your own life and find people in your community who DO understand. You get no judgment about your son/parenting from folks at N/A.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart today. So many times family and friends DO judge and try to tell us what to do with no knowledge of how it is to have an adult child like a difficult child and we just end up in tears (maybe I'm talking about myself). I find it safer to confide in a therapist who will not talk about this to anyone else and who will help me take care of me and will listen without interrupting me about what I've done wrong. I've learned, I think, that many people love to twist the knife in our hearts so I do not share things about 36 with anyone but my therapist. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for a nice, serene day for you!!!! You are an awesome parent, who has tried everything, and it's YOUR TURN NOW!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627783, member: 1550"] You can take very good care of yourself, in spite of his troubles. You can't change him on wit so angsting over him is a waste of time. It will not help him at all. If he also has antisocial personality disorder, he will use you if he can and it is even more of a reason for you to focus on your own life. Narc-Anon, in my opinion, is a great support system. If you don't like twelve step, you can also go to a private therapist. You need face time support through this difficult, heartbreaking time and sometimes family and friends who know you well can want to help, but have no understanding of your situation and only make you (and all of us) feel worse. Of course you have us. We are on call, 24/7, 65 days a year. Do something nice for YOU today. It is up to JT to change his path. From what I've read, and I'm not a doctor either here or on TV!!!, it is unlikely somebody who has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) will try to change, but never give up hope. Still...it would be great for you if you could go on with your own life and find people in your community who DO understand. You get no judgment about your son/parenting from folks at N/A. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart today. So many times family and friends DO judge and try to tell us what to do with no knowledge of how it is to have an adult child like a difficult child and we just end up in tears (maybe I'm talking about myself). I find it safer to confide in a therapist who will not talk about this to anyone else and who will help me take care of me and will listen without interrupting me about what I've done wrong. I've learned, I think, that many people love to twist the knife in our hearts so I do not share things about 36 with anyone but my therapist. Hugs for a nice, serene day for you!!!! You are an awesome parent, who has tried everything, and it's YOUR TURN NOW! [/QUOTE]
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