difficult child suspended from school for three days.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jody, Jan 22, 2013.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I am so mad. She left in a wonderful mood this morning, gave me a kiss and hug and caught her bus and then 45 minutes later she is calling me at work, she was given a referral and sent to the office for telling the teacher to F off. 3 days at home. She crying she's upset. She raised her hand for something in biology and the teacher ignored her, so she spoke up. He told her to shut up, and she said I don't appreciate being told to shut up so just blah blah blah. She has been such a typical teen lately, I have really been enjoying her. I like all of her teachers but this guy, he does have major attitude, and its not a good mix for difficult child, but she has to learn to get along or tolerate people that she doesnt like or agree with. Ugh. I hope this is the first and last suspension for her high school career.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    And no IEP, right?
    Depression is an illness... and most people (not just teachers) have no clue that the things they do are really "bad" for people with depression. been there done that.
  3. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    No IEP. She made it home and just called me and asked if she was grounded. I told her I had to go in to a meeting and i would talk with her later, but yes she was definately going to have punishment. Then came the tears and the I am sorry. That's typical teenage girl stuff, but the tears aren't going to help her. I told her she should have just kept her mouth shut and gone to the guidance counselor when she has trouble with this particular teacher.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    My mother used to wash my mouth out with soap if I said "shut up". I've tried to make sure the kids know that "please be quiet" is acceptable while "shut up" is not.

    I was mostly typical teen with a few difficult child moments, but if one of my teachers had told me to shut up, I'd have told him to F off too.

    Just my $0.02...

    And wait. 3 DAYS?! For one bad word??? Onyxx got ONE for slugging some kid!!!
  5. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I agree with Step that the school overreacted by giving her three days. She does have to learn to tolerate people she doesn't like but perhaps this teacher needs some education and professional training himself. I don't ever remember a teacher saying "shut up" under any circumstances while I was in high school.
  6. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    difficult child said the same thing. She said Mom, I said one curse word, and I got three days, and they were going to give me 5. SHe said kids have vandalized the school and were given 3 days. She said that just doesnt add up. She's home cleaning her room and walls right now. She'll wish she never let another word slip like that.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If the school's reaction is extreme... then I don't think yours needs to be. Know what I mean??
    ONE day of "heavy-handedness", sure... then, for the next two... of course she has to stay "home", but... not necessarily hard labour? Are there some fun-helpful things she can do for you?
  8. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I called the school and they said anytime the cursing is directed to the teacher then its a 5 days, they gave her three days because she's not been in trouble before. I asked him about the shut up thing and he said the teachers are told not to say shutup but some still do it. Wonder what his punishment is? ugh. I hope she gets out of his class and fast.
  9. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    I like IC's recommendation. Since the school's reaction is excessive (yes, she got off easier but still) I don't think her punishment at home should be. I like step's answer as well. Teacher ignores student, student states disatisfaction, teacher tells student to shut up, student over-reacts then regrets it later. Personally, I think she handled it very well until the very end. KUDOS for not losing it immediately. Go easy on her. Yes, she needs to learn to tolerate idiots in power but punishment on top of punishment isn't necessarily going "teach" that skill. Know what I mean??
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    And what will happen to the teacher for telling a student to shut up? I understand that she talked out of turn, but I am sure that there were a thousand other things the teacher could have said to her, other than "shut up." Not that I'm saying your difficult child was right to tell the teacher to f off, but the teacher was out of line, too.
  11. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    She got sent home today as an excused day, i think that I will keep her punishment for today, and then lighten up a little but still have things for her to do all day including her homework. Then if she stays in the good for these days off she may have her regular schedule back for the weekend. We'll see how her attitude is about her chores.
  12. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Sounds very wise...
  13. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Well the teacher called me, and told me his side of what happened and it just doesnt make sense. First he is very irritating, he said I guess this is normal teenage girl stuff and I haven't worked with teenage girls before, maybe their hormones or something. He said I think she just got up on the wrong side of the bed. I said no thats not the case at all. I said she woke up by herself, was very agreeable and gave me a kiss and said have a good day. He then says okay, I take total blame for the whole thing. Um, okay you idiot. Now your sarcasm is pushing my buttons. I did not say anyt of this was his fault, but ****** me off he insuated her bad mood was brought to school from home issues. It just wasn't and if it had been I would have said so. He said I told her to shut up, because she wouldn't shut up. When she wouldn't I sent her out to the hall, and then I went out there and told her I wasn't putting up with her **** this semester and she said you know what just blah off.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I would have been in trouble in any school I worked in if I said that to a kid. Rightfully so too.....

    Its not OK to talk as she did but three days??????

    His whole conversation with you is unbelievable (I believe you, but what an unprofessional rear end.)

    Lead....... By...... Example, DUH

    ( step, I would have cried.... I wish I would have stood up for myself more)
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I like that. Even when I disagree with the school I still don't tell difficult child, I support some consequence, I bet since she is already sorry she will do OK. (Hoping for you :)
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Jody... there'a a LOT of the year left. This one teacher can destroy your child. been there done that.
    You need an advocate or somebody outside of the school who can come down hard on this teacher... or who can fight for accommodations based on her depression diagnosis.
    OR have her pulled from the class for medical reasons (get psychiatrist to support it, based on how destructive this teacher is).

    No, she isn't "innocent".
    But... she IS dealing with a serious MH issue, and having an idiot teacher who can't tell the diff between depression and typical teen/hormone stuff... is a crock of odorous agricultural output.
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    She hasn't been in trouble before, so HE wasn't putting up with HER koi? PUH-LEEZE. I think you have the right idea...
  18. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    ... You know... by the end of this conversation I think I would have told him she was right and he needed to blah off... Then I'd be calling higher up the ladder and requesting a schedule change for her along with some sensitivity training for him!
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Have to make my own <LIKE> button again!
    Well said!
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arrgh! Nothing like dealing with-your own difficult child and her difficult child teacher!
    Yes, yes, yes, she needs to go straight to the counselor next time.
    I'm glad that you are having a punishment and then figuring things out from there. It looks like this is going to be a bit complicated.
    Every year, there's always ONE teacher who doesn't get it.