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Difficult Child taking advantage of wife
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677480" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am sorry DoneDad, you folks are being used in the worst way. I know the sting and ache of it, because it happened to us with <em>three grands.</em> My daughter felt it was our obligation to watch them, nary a word of appreciation, the lying and "selfish time" got progressively worse. We just kept chugging along, trying our best to care for the grands and focus on them. It is hard for you and your wife to see it now, because your grandbaby is so young, but this will not get any better, if it remains the same. When you think of it, usually a mom is more bonded with a young child, more<em> concerned</em>. The more you folks take on her role, the less she will. I know, it is hard because grandson is just a baby. </p><p>Here is a simple suggestion. Start keeping a log of everything. Hours of childcare, doctor appts., issues you have with her. If anything, this will be the history of care, and what mom is or isn't doing. It is something for backup, in case things get worse, and you decide to try and get her to go to parenting classes, or <em>something</em>. This is definitely not working for you, and it is only a matter of time before your wife is just exhausted. Better for baby,and Mom, if there is some thought process in the works. Nothing changes, if nothing changes.</p><p>In our case, CPS ended up in the picture again, because our daughter and baby daddy got more and more erratic. In the long run, the mindset is to rehab the parents and reunite the family. So, after 11 years of back and forth and craziness, the grands ended up with their parents. It has taken its toll on us, but.......they are the parents responsibility. There was nothing to be done about it. So, they are with their parents, and we have no contact. (Daughters choice) </p><p></p><p>I wish I had a better outcome to share with you. </p><p>Perhaps, since you are the one posting, there are some resources you can check out to get information on what is available in your State, and get some answers on how to proceed in the best interests of everyone involved.</p><p>We will not be around forever to rescue our D cs or our grands. It is pretty imperative that they learn to take on parenting responsibilities.</p><p>I know I am preaching to the choir again, sorry.....</p><p>You mentioned you are Catholic, see if there is Catholic Charities available in your area. They offer family counseling, this may be a place to start.....</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677480, member: 19522"] I am sorry DoneDad, you folks are being used in the worst way. I know the sting and ache of it, because it happened to us with [I]three grands.[/I] My daughter felt it was our obligation to watch them, nary a word of appreciation, the lying and "selfish time" got progressively worse. We just kept chugging along, trying our best to care for the grands and focus on them. It is hard for you and your wife to see it now, because your grandbaby is so young, but this will not get any better, if it remains the same. When you think of it, usually a mom is more bonded with a young child, more[I] concerned[/I]. The more you folks take on her role, the less she will. I know, it is hard because grandson is just a baby. Here is a simple suggestion. Start keeping a log of everything. Hours of childcare, doctor appts., issues you have with her. If anything, this will be the history of care, and what mom is or isn't doing. It is something for backup, in case things get worse, and you decide to try and get her to go to parenting classes, or [I]something[/I]. This is definitely not working for you, and it is only a matter of time before your wife is just exhausted. Better for baby,and Mom, if there is some thought process in the works. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. In our case, CPS ended up in the picture again, because our daughter and baby daddy got more and more erratic. In the long run, the mindset is to rehab the parents and reunite the family. So, after 11 years of back and forth and craziness, the grands ended up with their parents. It has taken its toll on us, but.......they are the parents responsibility. There was nothing to be done about it. So, they are with their parents, and we have no contact. (Daughters choice) I wish I had a better outcome to share with you. Perhaps, since you are the one posting, there are some resources you can check out to get information on what is available in your State, and get some answers on how to proceed in the best interests of everyone involved. We will not be around forever to rescue our D cs or our grands. It is pretty imperative that they learn to take on parenting responsibilities. I know I am preaching to the choir again, sorry..... You mentioned you are Catholic, see if there is Catholic Charities available in your area. They offer family counseling, this may be a place to start..... (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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