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difficult child Thanksgiving
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640656" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>While I never had to stay alone for T-giving, if my only choice had been my family of origin a.k.a. DNA collection or alone, I'd have stayed alone or gone to our community Thanksgiving the night before. I always knew how horrible it would be when that little bunch got together with me there (or without me there) and I learned early and often that people don't change. I can't remember having thrown myself to the dogs at any time after I left the DNA home.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry, sorry, sorry that you had such a bad holiday. I assume you got ganged up on and abused and I suspect you are much less at fault for your mean family members than you think you are. Sometimes we get so beaten up by them that we start to think, "I caused this." I don't know what happened, but, even not knowing, from other things you have said, I am guessing that this mess was started by others and the gang up began on you.</p><p></p><p>Try to calm down and think about who caused whatever happened and if you were actually a cause or dragged into it or the abused party. Do not add guilt of any kind to your sadness. And maybe you should avoid lots of your DNA collection, like I do mine. My life is much calmer and happier without them. I didn't want it to be this way, but it is what it is.</p><p></p><p>I love my family with every fiber in my being: My husband, my two sons, my two daughters, my two grandchildren and my three pets. They are my true family, the ones who are there for me and don't make me feel like dirt. MY DNA collection...I guess I still love my Dad, certainly not as much as my family family (hub and kids) and have drifted into apathy toward my sister and brother. Don't hate them. Don't love them. Forgive them and have moved on from them. We don't have to love our DNA members. If we do love them when they mistreat us, that's a real bear of a hurt. I'm glad I got over wanting approval from Dad, Sis and Bro.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you for your battle tonight, whatever it was.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640656, member: 1550"] While I never had to stay alone for T-giving, if my only choice had been my family of origin a.k.a. DNA collection or alone, I'd have stayed alone or gone to our community Thanksgiving the night before. I always knew how horrible it would be when that little bunch got together with me there (or without me there) and I learned early and often that people don't change. I can't remember having thrown myself to the dogs at any time after I left the DNA home. I am sorry, sorry, sorry that you had such a bad holiday. I assume you got ganged up on and abused and I suspect you are much less at fault for your mean family members than you think you are. Sometimes we get so beaten up by them that we start to think, "I caused this." I don't know what happened, but, even not knowing, from other things you have said, I am guessing that this mess was started by others and the gang up began on you. Try to calm down and think about who caused whatever happened and if you were actually a cause or dragged into it or the abused party. Do not add guilt of any kind to your sadness. And maybe you should avoid lots of your DNA collection, like I do mine. My life is much calmer and happier without them. I didn't want it to be this way, but it is what it is. I love my family with every fiber in my being: My husband, my two sons, my two daughters, my two grandchildren and my three pets. They are my true family, the ones who are there for me and don't make me feel like dirt. MY DNA collection...I guess I still love my Dad, certainly not as much as my family family (hub and kids) and have drifted into apathy toward my sister and brother. Don't hate them. Don't love them. Forgive them and have moved on from them. We don't have to love our DNA members. If we do love them when they mistreat us, that's a real bear of a hurt. I'm glad I got over wanting approval from Dad, Sis and Bro. Hugs to you for your battle tonight, whatever it was. [/QUOTE]
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