difficult child tug-o-war...difficult child against difficult children

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hearts and roses, Aug 7, 2007.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    difficult child graduated in June and here it is early August and NOT ONE of her fellow classmates (23 of them) has invited her to a party, to hang out, anything. She will call them and they will say they are calling her back, but then they blow her off.

    The other day one of them called her and told her that all the parties she was told were cancelled were not really cancelled. She was told they were cancelled because this ONE girl hates difficult child and refuses to invite her or go to a party if difficult child is present. The girl is friends with difficult child's exbf (he was a weasel then and now) and he apparently told the girl that difficult child was emotionally abusive to him...ahhhh, he was EXTREMELY emotionally abusive to difficult child, and even sexually assaulted her if you want to get technical.

    Anyway, I can't believe what sheep all these kids are that no one will back up difficult child and tell this girl to stuff it. Most of them say they like difficult child and leave her fun messages on line at facebook and they will call her and talk with her on AIM, yet they have never gotten together and cancel plans when they bother to make them.

    I can see it's killing difficult child - she feels so lonely and left out. Knowing the truth might be the right thing, but it's also been hurtful to difficult child. She's been waiting for this job to come through (hopefully this week!) and then at least she will have something to do with her days. Otherwise, she's been spending her days sleeping or at my office killing time till her ONE friend gets home from her job. Plus, it's putting a strain on that friendship because difficult child relies on the friend so much and gets :censored2: when she's not around. It's really trying on me too as I feel like I have to hang around with difficult child to fill the gaps also.

    The thing that kills me the most is that all of these kids wound up at difficult child's charter school because on some level they are all difficult child's!!!! The common theme for the past 3 years has been how they are all in this together, the square peg desperately trying to fit into the round hole and then finding the perfect setting where that wasn't necessary! And now this. I know things like this happen all the time, especially to difficult child's, but most of these kids are 17, 18, & 19 years old. When does it freakin end? And how do I help difficult child get through it without sending herself into another depression?

    On September 4th difficult child begins her drawing classes at the local community college - I can't wait and she's excited also. But in the meantime, it'd be nice if she had a social life. ugh.

    Any thoughts or suggestions?
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Good grief, teenagers bite.

    She will make friends at her new class. Calling the old, shallow ones is a bad idea. She's got a month before class starts,and hopefully her job comes through soon. She will make new friends there too.

    Spend a few hours with her one afternoon and give her a manicure & pedicure, make her feel special!
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    BBK, We've done the beach, the mani/pedi's, shopping, movies, etc....I'm running out of ideas and money! Haha -

    She's starting to get her headaches again, as she does when she's stressed or anxious. I've been trying to get her to read more, drink more water, walk with me. I leave her chores to keep busy and send her on errands, but again, I'm running out of ideas.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Sounds miserable for both of you.

    Is there something she is interested in that she could volunteer for? Maybe going to a nursing home and reading to the residents or working at the shelter or starting a campaign to send things to the troops.

    Something to get her out and about even if it isnt with her old peers may help and make her feel better about herself. If you are close to a major airport she could call the USO and ask if they need volunteers to help there or welcome home troops.
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Ideas off the top of my head.

    Free adult night through the park district?
    Prepare a fun gourmet recipe together?
    Watch one of those home shows on HGTV, get inspired, rearrange a room?
    Library? Museum? I'm running out of ideas too, LOL...
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks Janet. I was able to contact a Chicopee MA location and I forwarded the info to difficult child. I hope it sparks an interest. I will talk with her about it tonight and see.
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    My daughter loved working with a local animal group helping cats get adopted, which is how we ended up with three cats. lol

    Check online for any local volunteer agencies or listings that let you know what is available and needed. Getting her involved with helping others is good for self-esteem, too.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It will be so good for her to hopefully have a job and to start that drawing class. It is too bad no one else is telling the other girl off. Teenagers-yuck!