difficult child turns 19 tomorrow!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by trinityroyal, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    This is a big milestone age in Ontario, as you're legally allowed to drink and smoke. We were talking about the transition in difficult child's psychiatrist appointment today. When the doctor and I were talking about the things that you're allowed to do when you turn 19, husband looked horrified. He seemed to be shouting at me with his eyes, "Are you NUTS woman??!! Don't give the boy ideas!"

    But...difficult child said that he was scared to turn 19, that he'd never smoke and he'd never drink. He'd just...be 19.

    I can't believe it. difficult child is turning 19. What happened to my tiny little cherub, and who replaced him with this great lumbering man with the size 12 feet?
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Happy Birthday tomorrow to difficult child. Glad he has decided not to drink or smoke. Hope he is strong enough to know that drinking and smoking does not make an adult.
  3. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Happy birthday to your son! My baby girl just turned 19 last month, I know how you feel somewhat. She's my last child, so on one hand it's bittersweet, but on the other hand, I have finally reached the point that I don't feel the need to be all involved in their lives any more. I love my children, I'm interested in what they are doing, I want them to be safe, but I am sooooo over mothering them as I did when they were minors! I even had to convince my youngest................. I. REALLY. DON'T. CARE. WHAT. YOU. DO! Be moral, be safe, obey the law, and have fun! And don't tell me too many of the details. :) It's all good!
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well lets hope he keeps away from those bed things and keeps making Momma proud and happy!
    Happy Birthday
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    The doctor just measured him again today. 6'4". And still growing. Eeek!
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest


    Adulthood is SO scary. He will do fine. Hope he has a good day
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :hapBday: Happy Birthday to difficult child!!! :hapBday:

    Unfortunately, I can't share any light on where the time has gone.....I was wondering myself. Hope he has a great day today!

  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Happy Birthday to your difficult child.
    Our Aspie kids tend to follow strict rules of No Smoking, no drinking.
    We did have our son order a drink of his choice when he turned 21. Why?
    Because that's what his peers were doing. He hates the taste of alcohol and ordered some sweet drink because it came with a glass that lit up or something equally gadgety. (I want to clarify that alcoholism or even liking the taste of alcohol doesn't exist in either side of the genetic tree) I would be less open to alcohol if I had to live with an alcoholic.

    The world of parenting an adult difficult child is a little daunting and a little different. I am much less involved in his day to day life. I don't watch what he reads or watches or what time he goes to bed. The only real rule is medication and hygiene. Everything else is his to do. I do help cue him in terms of accomplishing tasks of course. He is not independent but I don't want to take away his dignity as a man although he is emotionally like a 12 yr old maybe 15 yr old. Not sure. One child is very immature and the other is way too mature.

    I,like mom to 3, do feel I need to micro manage their lives. I told easy child and difficult child. Follow the 10 commandments as your moral code, do what you know is right and get on with your life and your own consequences. difficult child still needs the security to help with his anxiety but I am not involved as I once was.

    Time goes fast. I didn't think I would ever say that when difficult child was 11.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    "Happy Birthday!!!" :)

    It is scary how fast they grow. Adorable what he said about the smoking and drinking :)

    Hope he has a great day!!!!!!
  10. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Happy Birthday to you difficult child :hapBday:

    When someone hits 19, we always say they're now legal for anything. :anxious: Yep a scary thought sometimes. I don't know where the time goes, I can believe my difficult child is 1/2 a year away from 16 and driving. And yeah, now that he's hit 6'1" my difficult child delights in saying to me "you're so short". Like yours, mine will never smoke, and doesn't seem too interested in the drinking. I asked him once about that, and he doesn't get why people would want to get drunk, but he might try it to see what it tastes like, maybe. LOL
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    But...difficult child said that he was scared to turn 19, that he'd never smoke and he'd never drink. He'd just...be 19.

    Awww, that's so sweet!

    I have to tell you a story about my easy child (although she's not a difficult child ... but we live with-one).
    Last wk she drove to JMU for Halloween. She spent the night with-a fellow HS grad (easy child is one yr younger) and they party hopped. Mostly, they sorority hopped.
    easy child said the girls were so cute and sweet and lively and invited her to join their sororities ... until it came time for them to invite her to drink.
    She said, "I don't drink." (Not to mention, she's only 17.)
    They turned up their noses and said, "Well, then, maybe you DON'T want to join our sorority."
    And they stomped off in a huff.
    She is no longer thrilled about joining a sorority. Yaaay!
    My mom and older sisters were sorority people and I never saw the fun of it. Of course, I'm an introvert, and would rather stay home with-a good book, LOL!

    Anyway, congrats on the big birthday. I never know that that age was such a huge milestone in Canada. Cool.