difficult child update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Oct 21, 2010.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I haven't posted in this forum for quite a while because I moved over to Teens and Substance Abuse when it was apparent that difficult child was an alcoholic. But I'm back here and wanted to give all my old friends an update.

    difficult child entered a substance abuse treatment program Aug 2 after we told her that unless she get treatment she had to leave our home that day. This came after months of out of control drinking and coming home at 4 a.m. to sleep the entire day and do it again that night. In fact the night before she entered rehab she did the same thing, which we learned was very common. We had no idea whether difficult child would accept the program or whether it would help put our family back together again. It was a roller coaster ride for 60 days and family program Sundays were very emotional but probably the glue that held us all together. We had one scare on about the 30th day when former patients of the center came to visit and tried to take difficult child out of the program with them. I credit a very alert staff and two particular caring staff members in particular for kicking the visitors out, chasing her down the road, and convincing her to come back.

    But in the end difficult child embraced the program, accepted her addiction, and we watched her become a stronger person who wanted sobriety. She was released to outpatient care and came home Oct 3. She attends outpatient group Mon-Thurs 10-1, goes to AA meetings almost every night, has met with her new, very interactive therapist twice already, and is making tremendous progress.

    In the meantime I am going to al-anon meetings and we are all learning how to live one day at a time. I use to want her to promise me she would never drink again. I am now OK with her promising me she won't drink today and working her program to make sure every day is like that. The staff at the treatment center all had wonderful things to say about her as did many of the residents who say she has helped them in their recovery. She has found meetings that she enjoys every day of the week, some with young people and some with the general population and some all women. She says she feels accepted at every one of them and knows they all want the same thing out of life and that's what keeps her going.

    She has cut ties with all the old drinking/drug friends and is making some very good choices. We are gradually letting her drive our car to meetings and work and today I let her drive to IOP for the first time. She calls us every time she gets somewhere and when she leaves. She has her paper signed at every AA meeting she attends, both for the IOP and for us so we know she is going. The outpatient program has been a wonderful transition back into normal home life and she is making friends with the other members, young and old. There is a special bond between them all.

    While the past six months have been the most difficult for our family, they have also been filled with the most hope and joy. We are finally able to enjoy life and difficult child looks healthy and happy. We know this will be a long and difficult road for difficult child but she now has the skills and tools to make better choices and have a different relationship with us.

    I have missed you all and happy to be back in this forum.

    Last edited: Oct 21, 2010
  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Nancy, I am so so happy for you all!!! It sounds like she is doing wonderfully. I pray one day I can experience the same.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh Nancy what a fabulous update!!! Soooo very proud of difficult child!!! Not an easy thing to do at all, but she has stuck it out. Good for her!! I hope she can continue to win the battle one day at a time. :D

    Very very happy for all of you!!!

  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is wonderful news! I'm so glad that all of you are working a program in addition to her ... it's so important for the entire family. I hope things continue to get better and better :)
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What great news, Nancy. I'm happy for all of you.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:


    :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

    I'm doing the happy dance!!! :bigsmile:

  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You know how thrilled I am!
  8. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    This is wonderful. I'm so glad difficult child is continuing to work her program and is seeing the benefits. And I'm doubly happy for you and your family, seeing this
    after so much stress and heartbreak. I know it's one day at a time, but each day is precious; each day is all we have. Very best wishes to all of you.
  9. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Nancy, what a wonderful update. I am so happy for you.

    Love, Esther
  10. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Nancy, so happy for you all. I am a strong believer in the "suggestions" of AA and Al Anon.

    Hugs and care,
  11. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Great to hear difficult child is working the program. My fingers will stayed crossed. I know you have to feel like you can stop holding your breath finally.
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Soooooo good to hear that she has worked hard with this....
    Also GREAT to hear that you too are going to meetings AND that you have FINALLY felt some peace.
    I've got everything crossed. Continued prayers/good thoughts for you and your family.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is great! They know when they are ready and hopefully it will be all uphill from now on!
  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That's great news, Nancy!
  15. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you for sharing your good news. This is a wonderful thing! -RM