hey
just figured i'd update quick. feeding tube is in. it was a very bad experience for all. it took about 7 hours in total, 3 nurses and husband and i to hold her down. she cut me up and scratched me. screamed, begged, it was let's just say something i'll never forget.
i had to go in the room, the 3rd try when i heard her screaming husband was in there i couldn't handle the 3rd try and i planted her told her it was our last stop she needed help and she'd better cooperate.
in it went. husband slept on the bed because he came straight from airport i slept in difficult child's wheelchair on and off thru night. i think i got 3 hrs. difficult child got a ton of hours all she did was sleep.
she's on zyprexa 5mg. they had to titrate up quickly. she is having a problem with her heart. we aren't sure what it is right now. her resting heartrate is way too highly. doctor said she's now hydrated so their observing today to see if it goes down if not i am not sure what next step will be.
due to that she has a heart monitor, and is on bedrest. she's a mess basically. doctor said i did a good job at keeping her hydrated she wasnt that dry yet her hearts taken a beating from the yo yo up and down and what she's done to her own little body.
it's all sad. overwhelming. doctor told me to go see a therapist because she said you look like hell, difficult child has beaten you down badly all these years and i need you alive when shes gets out. she said to husband can you make one more trip out for her or can someone reprieve you at some point so you can go home take a break.
i did hold it together well yet yea past 12 years have beaten me down. so husband leaves tmrw. we just got back to room to take showers, change clothes go get breakfast and than head back to hospital.
after tmrw i'm on my own. her hospital admit will be longer than expected due to her condition. about 2 weeks roughly in hospital or more. probably 2 months out here living.
ok just figured i'd share with-you guys. heart things unnerving me, amt of time out here is unnerving me. i knew on this trip i was on my last leg. i hate that everyone keeps telling me to go to therapy though. husband is like calm down you have killed yourself for years with her. it's time to take care of you a little
just figured i'd update quick. feeding tube is in. it was a very bad experience for all. it took about 7 hours in total, 3 nurses and husband and i to hold her down. she cut me up and scratched me. screamed, begged, it was let's just say something i'll never forget.
i had to go in the room, the 3rd try when i heard her screaming husband was in there i couldn't handle the 3rd try and i planted her told her it was our last stop she needed help and she'd better cooperate.
in it went. husband slept on the bed because he came straight from airport i slept in difficult child's wheelchair on and off thru night. i think i got 3 hrs. difficult child got a ton of hours all she did was sleep.
she's on zyprexa 5mg. they had to titrate up quickly. she is having a problem with her heart. we aren't sure what it is right now. her resting heartrate is way too highly. doctor said she's now hydrated so their observing today to see if it goes down if not i am not sure what next step will be.
due to that she has a heart monitor, and is on bedrest. she's a mess basically. doctor said i did a good job at keeping her hydrated she wasnt that dry yet her hearts taken a beating from the yo yo up and down and what she's done to her own little body.
it's all sad. overwhelming. doctor told me to go see a therapist because she said you look like hell, difficult child has beaten you down badly all these years and i need you alive when shes gets out. she said to husband can you make one more trip out for her or can someone reprieve you at some point so you can go home take a break.
i did hold it together well yet yea past 12 years have beaten me down. so husband leaves tmrw. we just got back to room to take showers, change clothes go get breakfast and than head back to hospital.
after tmrw i'm on my own. her hospital admit will be longer than expected due to her condition. about 2 weeks roughly in hospital or more. probably 2 months out here living.
ok just figured i'd share with-you guys. heart things unnerving me, amt of time out here is unnerving me. i knew on this trip i was on my last leg. i hate that everyone keeps telling me to go to therapy though. husband is like calm down you have killed yourself for years with her. it's time to take care of you a little