difficult child vent

[Jena]

hi

i haven't been on boards, and i hate that. it makes me better when i am here yet right now there are so many balls in air again i am juggling and dropping some lol.

difficult child has been rough. she's scared in this house now even though i do not speak of it. her and easy child wont' stay alone here at all. makes me working 2 nights alot harder.

she's been nasty in the a.m. getting to school late, insecure, argumentative. i'm doing my best yet i'm wiped out literally. every night at bedtime is a 35 minute therapy session when i'm depleted and there isnt' much left. which makes me feel guilty i give so much during day and have nothing left at night for her. i try though. yet it's hard. her therapist has been out sick so we haven't been to 2 appts now which is making it harder. she's afraid of summer and i am too i know she can't handle camp and now i have this job.

so overall i'm trying to breath through it, i know i shoudlnt' complain yet i'm struggling.

i just had to get that out before i go run now to someone elses's cse meeting at a school.

i know i have reserve to pull from, yet there are days i'm tired and spent nad just wanna throw my hands up and say ok why all this carp??

thanks for listening, especially since i've had zero time to be there for anyone else lately. i can't even be there for me lately.

 

[DaisyFace]

Jena--

It sounds like you have way too much responsibility on your shoulders right now. You must be exhausted!

Is there anyone who can step in and give you a little relief by taking difficult child for a weekend or something?

Sending ((((hugs)))) and support your way....

--DaisyF

 

[ML]

Jena I feel your pain. Go easy on yourself, you are doing the best you can. I too feel those diminishing reserve pains at time. You may have to pull back a little and let difficult child begin to develop some coping skills.

To difficult child: honey I understand you're scared about summer camp but I have confidence in you and I know you will face those fears and that you will figure out how to make the best of it. I think sometimes we need to empower them by backing off and decreasing their dependency on us. I do know they're young and their lives won't be easy, but you have to have those reserves for you otherwise you'll burn out and be no good to anyone. I'm trying to back off a little from manster's drama and break those connections and synapses that tell me I have to rescue him from the pain.

One day at a time. You're doing great. We love you.

ML

 

[totoro]

Is there any way she would believe in blessing the house?

When I lived in Idaho a lot of my friends were Coeur d'Alene or Kootenai Indians, but they would always bless any new house we moves into or a friend moved into. This would rid the house of any bad spirits or energy. As well as bless the new tenants into the home.

We used Sweetgrass or sagebrush. it is usually wrapped up in a tightly woven bundle then you light the end and it goes out so it is just smoking and you go from room to room letting the smoke cast out the bad spirits or energy.

You can also get her a dream catcher, which can also be used, (or you can tell her this) to catch the bad spirits in the house.
You would hang this above her bed.

You can get the old horse shoe above the door way as well.

You can get the sweet grass from an Indian store or sometimes a "Hippy" Store.

Just some thoughts

Sorry it is so hard

 

[recovering doormat]

You poor sweetie. I can relate to the "35 minute therapy session" with your child before bed, when you are already so exhausted from the days' events that you can't get out of your own way. And I didn't work full time, either.

I came very close at times to losing it and yelling at my daughter that I can't be her therapist (she was going but she would b.s. with the therapist and not talk about stuff that was really bothering her..and I'm paying for it). But I stopped myself, and I'm glad I did. She was hospitalized again after that time and finally found a medication that helped her (Prozac, the old standby, the only one we hadn't tried). And she's doing better now than ever before.

I haven't seen earlier posts so I'm just guessing that your kids feel there is something scary about your house. I would agree with Totoro that maybe there is some kind of ritual or ceremony you could do to help your kids feel like they have some control over their environment. I think the sage grass idea is excellent, I think there are also spiritual cleansings that involve sprinkling sea salt around doorways, etc. (saw it on a feng shui site). I was raised Roman Catholic and I remember way back when I was a kid it was normal for a priest to come and bless a house when newly built or when new owners/tenants moved in.

Like my dear old grandmother Nellie used to say, "It might not help you dear, but it couldn't hurt."

 

[Jena]

hi guys, thanks i appreciate it. Being in here, taking the time to read through posts, respond, write them myself is part of my balance i've come to learn the past few years. Yet now i'm back into "no time" mode. *****.

I got through day, luckily lol. yet now i'm on break and difficult child has got her homework next to her and she's trying to do it. i have a mtg tonight for work, had to have easy child's friend come here so the kids wouldnt' be afraid. yet i can't even bill this time it's with an team leader so there is no point. her response well maybe you can get a quick visit with-parent after it?? so i'm driving a half hr away leaving kids, not being able to bill which is what my job's all about just hoping i can grab 1/2 hour with this mom which is a joke billable time wise in my job and return home at what, 7:30? that's just stupid.

they dont' get it when you say hey i have a kid, or kids. love that. yup i'm a chronic complainer. they dont' though. they complain about oh, i have to go out to dinner tonight with-my husband...... "oh you poor thing" lol. i get it's all relative but give me a break!! they have no clue. all case manager's are childless and majority single.

as far as the house goes, boyfriend tried to get a priest in. yet at this point it may not help any due to fact kids already saw what they saw their comfort level is diminished.

 

[lizzie09]

Jena

Good to see you here.....you are doing your best out there and you know
I particularly think its great.

What did the kids see...ghosts? I didnt see that post if you wrote about this. The house was so exciting last time I read about it

Wishing yoiu well

 

[Jena]

Hey Lizzie I am hoping you are well!!! Yes I have to fight to get time in here!! I blew off a work appointment. tonight and stayed home made dinner for kids and we had apple pie and ice cream! and me on here oh yea, go to weird post from few days ago......... always something lol

 

[lizzie09]

Oh God Jena...I found the post!

Mice everywhere! You poor thing...it wouild scare me s...t..ss. I think gjhosts might be easier!

I think the cat would be great and maybe the kids would lilke it too.

Heres hoping... hang on in there,.hope your eye was alright.

 

[crazymama30]

Hugs. Hoping things work out somehow for you. I hate that to busy frantic trying to get stuff done feeling.

 

[miles2go]

Hey you were there for me.
So over a year ago my difficult child, after seeing some halloween cartoons, asks, "what do ghosts do to you if they catch you?". "Umm, nothing," I say, "they just images, can't touch you." "Then why are people afraid of them?" I was stumped.
Anyway, you may want to design a ritual with your kids' participation.
More power to you, Jena, they do grow up eventually as I understand.

 

[Shari]

I can help with the horse shoe!

 

[Wiped Out]

Jena,
You must be worn out, maybe you should borrow my board name I hope difficult child's struggles lighten up and that you somehow get a peaceful break.

 

[Jena]

LOL you guys are funny!! thanks, all the responses made me smile. very cool