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difficult child visited our home today....
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar I" data-source="post: 46591" data-attributes="member: 3755"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hearthope</div><div class="ubbcode-body">No, you never think your child could be capable of the things that he does.</p><p></p><p>All that you taught your child....All the love you have shown your child...</p><p></p><p>You never in a million years dreamed it could turn out like this.. </div></div></p><p></p><p>Hold faith with your son, hearthope. It doesn't do any of us any good to lose our belief in the kids (or in ourselves) for what is happening to them and to us.</p><p></p><p>The hardest thing for me was to open my eyes and tell myself what it was I was seeing.</p><p></p><p>Right after that, it was to acknowledge the feelings of bitterness, and shame and loss, without becoming cynical.</p><p></p><p>There is a phrase about faith at the bottom of my posts. If you read it, you realize it is true ~ none of us ever does know how a thing is going to resolve.</p><p></p><p>Just as none of us, in our wildest dreams, could have predicted this for our children ~ if we had seen this coming, we would have changed the equation by which we raised them.</p><p></p><p>That is what moms do. We continually assess, and reassess, how the kids are doing, what they need, who they are becoming.</p><p></p><p>It helped me to remember that I am still difficult child's mother. It helps me to remember that I love him, and that he is going a wrong way.</p><p></p><p>It made a huge difference for me when I began telling difficult child that.</p><p></p><p>Whatever wlse I forget to say when I talk to him, I always manage a "Don't use drugs."</p><p></p><p>It doesn't work of course, but I don't care.</p><p></p><p>Your job now, just like mine, is to survive this in one piece, hearthope.</p><p></p><p>Hold faith with your son.</p><p></p><p>Whether he is doing right or not, hold faith that he will.</p><p></p><p>DDD, I think it was, posted something like that to me once. That when the kids do come home, or when they see us, they are reminded of the way back to decency. </p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar I, post: 46591, member: 3755"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hearthope</div><div class="ubbcode-body">No, you never think your child could be capable of the things that he does. All that you taught your child....All the love you have shown your child... You never in a million years dreamed it could turn out like this.. </div></div> Hold faith with your son, hearthope. It doesn't do any of us any good to lose our belief in the kids (or in ourselves) for what is happening to them and to us. The hardest thing for me was to open my eyes and tell myself what it was I was seeing. Right after that, it was to acknowledge the feelings of bitterness, and shame and loss, without becoming cynical. There is a phrase about faith at the bottom of my posts. If you read it, you realize it is true ~ none of us ever does know how a thing is going to resolve. Just as none of us, in our wildest dreams, could have predicted this for our children ~ if we had seen this coming, we would have changed the equation by which we raised them. That is what moms do. We continually assess, and reassess, how the kids are doing, what they need, who they are becoming. It helped me to remember that I am still difficult child's mother. It helps me to remember that I love him, and that he is going a wrong way. It made a huge difference for me when I began telling difficult child that. Whatever wlse I forget to say when I talk to him, I always manage a "Don't use drugs." It doesn't work of course, but I don't care. Your job now, just like mine, is to survive this in one piece, hearthope. Hold faith with your son. Whether he is doing right or not, hold faith that he will. DDD, I think it was, posted something like that to me once. That when the kids do come home, or when they see us, they are reminded of the way back to decency. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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