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General Parenting
difficult child wants to move back with bio family at 18..long
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 19798" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>At 18 kids can live wherever they want to live. I couldn't stop my kids from living with bio. relatives either when they turn 18. It's no longer up to us. I would let him go and support him in it. He will likely be back FAST and appreciate you more. At any rate, if you do the "them against us" that never works. It's hard to adopt older kids. I adopted one at six, and it's not the same as my biological kid or the other three I adopted. He was always looking for his roots because he came to us, in his words, "after my formative years." As much as I hate to admit it, I'm sure my son, who was adopted from Hong Kong, never felt he fit in with us. Now he's 30 and surrounds himself with Chinese people--his wife and her family and has basically not been in contact with us. My kids who came young are very close to us. I don't believe that my son who came at six ever totally bonded with us. He was always very good, TOO good, and very distant. If it helps, I understand how you feel, but wouldn't push against it or talk about it too much. See what happens and realize nothing is etched in stone or permanent. Maybe he'll see the dysfunction and try to flee from it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 19798, member: 1550"] At 18 kids can live wherever they want to live. I couldn't stop my kids from living with bio. relatives either when they turn 18. It's no longer up to us. I would let him go and support him in it. He will likely be back FAST and appreciate you more. At any rate, if you do the "them against us" that never works. It's hard to adopt older kids. I adopted one at six, and it's not the same as my biological kid or the other three I adopted. He was always looking for his roots because he came to us, in his words, "after my formative years." As much as I hate to admit it, I'm sure my son, who was adopted from Hong Kong, never felt he fit in with us. Now he's 30 and surrounds himself with Chinese people--his wife and her family and has basically not been in contact with us. My kids who came young are very close to us. I don't believe that my son who came at six ever totally bonded with us. He was always very good, TOO good, and very distant. If it helps, I understand how you feel, but wouldn't push against it or talk about it too much. See what happens and realize nothing is etched in stone or permanent. Maybe he'll see the dysfunction and try to flee from it. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child wants to move back with bio family at 18..long
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